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xXSufferingXx

Elementalist
Feb 21, 2025
863
i definetely have regrets that sometimes make me feel like a POS.

which, needless to say, contributes a lot to my desire to leave this planet.
 
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Charmander07

Charmander07

Member
Feb 6, 2026
21
Most of the time, if you have regrets you aren't a POS. If you were you wouldn't regret it, that's how I think
 
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DeathByBananabread

DeathByBananabread

Carol Kohl
Dec 30, 2025
106
Often....put into me way too young to be reasonable, with way too much drastic intensity. I hated myself at like, 10. By 17 it became a constant, extremely distracting thought-loop that medication only served to dampen, not get rid of. Sometimes it didn't seem to help control it at all.
Now most of the time I feel nothing but I can see where people are coming from when they make harsh judgements about me. The guilt & shame muscles got weary. It comes back with fiery intensity then rapidly burns itself out in a perpetual loop.
 
lpdsvm

lpdsvm

Student
Jan 11, 2026
144
Not anymore. With a method I got along with myself. I started to see positive sides of myself. Now I need to make sure I can CTB with SN and without SN with just a shoelace. With both methods at the same time. Whatever. I need to be ready anywhere because life might be a prick by making it harder to CTB.
 
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xXSufferingXx

Elementalist
Feb 21, 2025
863
Not anymore. With a method I got along with myself. I started to see positive sides of myself. Now I need to make sure I can CTB with SN and without SN with just a shoelace. With both methods at the same time. Whatever. I need to be ready anywhere because life might be a prick by making it harder to CTB.
SN + shoelace? how will that go exactly? i'm curious hwo you mean
 
lpdsvm

lpdsvm

Student
Jan 11, 2026
144
SN + shoelace? how will that go exactly? i'm curious hwo you mean
I mean that any type of hanging or self-strangulation. I don't like that method but if I take SN and start to feel too bad I might end it faster by hanging myself. It won't matter what I will drink. I think why not.
I know that I can pass out without anything around my neck for about 15 sec. It means a lot of blood leaves my head due to creating a difference in pressure and if there is a noose that tightens right after there is no blood I won't wake up so I might as well go partial. So many options.
 
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xXSufferingXx

Elementalist
Feb 21, 2025
863
I mean that any type of hanging or self-strangulation. I don't like that method but if I take SN and start to feel too bad I might end it faster by hanging myself. It won't matter what I will drink. I think why not.
i see
 
Eternal Pessimist

Eternal Pessimist

Experienced
Oct 16, 2019
200
Yes, when I think about what a mess I've made of this life. I had opportunities, but I wasted them all. There's no going back now and no fixing things, at least not in a satisfactory way. All I want now is the courage to end things.
 
T

thelostautistic

Student
Jul 31, 2025
152
All the time. I beat myself up over every mistake I've ever made. I know I'm not a bad person but my brain loves to make me feel like I am😭
 

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