Do you blame your parents?

[Wkoncuodejde]

For giving you life. I have terribly mixed feelings about this. I dont know if its their fault. But I wouldnt have to suffer if two people did not want children.

 

[immrw]

I blame my parents for the mass amounts of abuse they put me through as a child that is the source for all my depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

 

[ElfenLied]

I do blame them, if it weren't for their incompetence I wouldn't have been born, and they always treated me badly since I was little, they always said bad things to me, things they didn't say to my brother and sister who are older than me.

 

[purella]

fucking 100000% fuck yes.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes and no. No, in the sense that it wasn't their choice of what my assigned sex would be, but yes because I was born in the first place so I have to suffer through being the wrong assigned sex.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I definitely wish they hadn't had me but then- it's hard to totally blame them. I just don't think it occured to them that I would turn out like this. I think- for the main part- they were happy. They probably just assumed I would be too.

 

[ilovecats]

Yes. One was absent half my life and the other abused me.

 

[Chaos at Feast]

I know that my parents did their best and provided me with the means and opportunities to live a "good" life. I was loved and supported so I don't even have a good enough reason to reject them on those grounds. Despite all of that, even if they were the best parents imaginable, I'd wish they'd rather not have procreated at all. It's taken me years to reach a sort of neutral or stoic position. I try not to take it personally – humans are driven to pass on their genetic material and not think about it. They didn't have children out of malice but (ironically) hope for the future. They just couldn't imagine that their child(ren) wouldn't share their enthusiasm.

 

[looking_for_peace]

I guess back in my parents' time, things were still hopeful. It wasn't so long ago. I do resent them a little for bringing me into the world, but at the same time, they loved each other very much. my siblings are fine, I am the only one who is struggling. so maybe they weren't wrong to procreate. maybe I am just a defect.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

Yes because they're currently interfering with my plans to CTB

No because they woulda had no idea I'd be experiencing all this suffering when they fucked me into existence. 2) I did provide them a lot of joy when I was a child and I was happy then. And 3) they did do their best to provide for me a "normal" life.

 

[lukas19]

No. I 100% blame myself.

 

[Anonymus]

I have no reason to blame them for anything. My life, my way of living it, my responsibility.

* I forget that I am a determinist, again, ... no one is guilty of anything.

//

No tinc cap motiu per culpar-los de res. La meva vida, la meva manera de viure-la, la meva responsabilitat.

* Se m'oblida que sóc determinista, altre vegada,... ningú és culpable de res.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I think I'm just as much to blame as my parents are for ending up like this. If my dad wouldn't have been an abusive asshole when I was growing up and if I hadn't been born, then everything would be fine. If I hadn't turned into an angry asshole like my dad was, then things wouldn't have gotten worse.

 

[Dolphin55]

There's not really any reason to blame them. They had no way of knowing I'd hate life when they conceived me, and they tried to do the best for me in the ways they thought were right. However, when your life sucks and you have to endure so much pain, and when their choices for you drastically affected the way you developed, it's hard not to *feel* angry at them.

Sometimes, in a very strange way, I find myself wishing they had been worse so my anger towards them could be justified. That's a pretty shit thinking pattern, but I hate having anger with nowhere to go. Ultimately I think I turn it on myself. I want some villains to fight, and in the absence of that, I am my own villain.

 

[ceus]

Blame would infere intention. Yet they've had no ill intentions. On the other hand I guess the combination of my perfectionist academic father and my panic driven mother made not for the best example combination. But in the end it were my decisions whcih led me here. My inclinations my wrong doings my short-sightedness.
My parents did everything they could. The only thing that makes me proper upset is this dogmatism to try. It was easy to extrapolate that I'd suffer my whole life. There wasn't a stressfree, happy or straightforward period in my life. EVER. I just wanna go leave this whole mess behind me. A little bit of compassionate encouragement of my own decision would go a far way...

 

[jodes2]

Yes it upsets me a bit. They were naive to think they could have a happy child. But in those days mental health was not really known about or understood by most people

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course the parents are the ones who are to blame as they selfishly and unnecessarily chose to procreate in this hellish world where existing is something so harmful as it involves so many risks. To procreate is an absolutely tragic and unacceptable thing, it's cruel to burden people with this existence especially as there is no straightforward way to exit.

I hate the fact that I was forced here so much as I view life itself as being the true problem. Existence is the true cause of all torment as if there was no life there would be no suffering. It's a curse how life evolved and how we have the ability to exist.

 

[jessisme]

My parents both had good childhoods and grew up to be happy and successful adults. They wanted to bring children into this world and I am sure had every hope and expectation that their children would enjoy the same joys and successes. Sadly for various reasons this has not been the case for me. In no way do I blame them for it because they both worked very hard to be wonderful parents, made our family the center of their lives and did absolutely nothing wrong. I do feel bad for them and feel an enormous sense of guilt for failing them by not becoming the happy and successful adult they had hoped for: for not giving them a reason to be proud of me, for not giving them grandchildren. I feel that all of their hard work, efforts and caring for me have been for nothing because I have not grown into a functional adult. I feel that they deserved to have the joy of being grandparents and I failed to give that to them. After all the work they have put in and all that they have done for me I wish I had done more and better for my parents, I really do. It makes me sad to think about and it's one of the reasons I hope to ctb.

 

[HayBunny23]

I don't blame my parents for giving me life, I think it's just natural and I can't blame animals for being animals and life being life. I do, however, blame them completely for the abuse they put me through...

 

[body_snatcher]

Yes and no. It's hard to hate them despite everything they've done because they're severely mentally ill and as suicidal as I am. All of us have been perpetuating the cycle of being dealt a shit hand. If I was born into the insanity they were, I can see myself making some similar bad decisions. At the same time, they are the core of my mental illness and my overall complete downfall. They were the reason my dreams are dead and I am struggling so hard to function. They completely destroyed me but they have in turn destroyed themselves. I just hope there's a light in this tunnel somewhere.

 

[jessisme]

I guess back in my parents' time, things were still hopeful. It wasn't so long ago. I do resent them a little for bringing me into the world, but at the same time, they loved each other very much. my siblings are fine, I am the only one who is struggling. so maybe they weren't wrong to procreate. maybe I am just a defect.

I feel the same way. xo, j

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Of course the parents are the ones who are to blame as they selfishly and unnecessarily chose to procreate in this hellish world where existing is something so harmful as it involves so many risks. To procreate is an absolutely tragic and unacceptable thing, it's cruel to burden people with this existence especially as there is no straightforward way to exit.

I hate the fact that I was forced here so much as I view life itself as being the true problem. Existence is the true cause of all torment as if there was no life there would be no suffering. It's a curse how life evolved and how we have the ability to exist.

I am a parent. When my son was born I had never heard of BPD, I wasn't depressed and I had never had an anxiety attack in my life. What I did have was a childhood, in which my ' dad' abused me until I was 11. My stepfather showed me a parent can love their child, unconditionally. When I got pregnant at 17, I decided to keep my child, and give him all the love I had received from him and my mother. I got sick at 22, at 24 I was diagnosed with the things mentioned above.

You telling me, that I put my child, who I love above anything else, i even now he's a man of 29 in a world full of misery because I'm selfish fucking hurts! Lots of parents really love their kids, do you really think they put them on this world to suffer?

And before I get shit about ' a mod should not react in that way ' fuck it!

 

[ghostpersonthing]

Yes

 

[SamTam33]

Them and only them. And I absolutely think parents are selfish.

It's not like they sit down and ponder if their child will want them. Nope. They focus on the fact that they want the child.

Do they study themselves in the mirror and ask if the world needs another them? Nah.

Do they consider their genetics and how much of their rancid DNA the child will inherit? No.

Selfish. As. Fuck.

 

[Parting Sorrow]

They have some blame for how fucked up I feel and the estranged relationship that exists with them. Just my mother now. My father died a few years ago and no one bothered to tell me until like a month later and it was by an extended family member who felt bad I didn't know...so that's kind of my relationship with my family I guess.


As far as bringing kids into the world...I don't know, I don't think so...everyone is selfish but that is part of the human condition. I was relieved when I recently found out it was unlikely I would ever produce children. I'm in my late 30s and have generally tried to avoid it but that took a lot of that pressure off.

 

[LunaXCBN]

Partially, yes, I do.
My dad for being a raging alcoholic when I did associate with him.
My mom for being an ass 24/7, and treating me in ways you shouldn't treat an autistic person, but that was because she didn't know. None of us did.

My mom and dad divorced. Before I was born, so I never really saw the together. Thank god, because apparently my dad was abusive which I can see from the fact that he was an alcoholic asshole when I did hang out with him. I haven't seen or heard from him in 6 years. I'm thankful he wasn't involved in my life directly, I would've probably killed myself already. I hope he dies alone and painfully.

 

[Ultracheese]

Not at all. I don't think they could've anticipated how awful I would've turned out and they almost certainly would've aborted me if they knew what a failure I'd be.

 

[Yavannah]

no i dont blame them
they were just young and in love

 

[Doctors HATE them]

I million times yes. I hate them. The whole concept of having a child when you know that you won't be able to provide the best life possible for them appalls me. As soon as they noticed that I was depressed, they should have killed me. They talk big about how much they love me, and would go to jail for me, but when confronted with the fact that I would be better off dead, all they can do is cry and guilt trip me. They are indirectly responsible for every bad thing that has ever happened to me.

Even if you took a less extreme stance, they still abused me emotionally and to some extent physically. I will never forgive them.

 

[Source Energy]

I don't blame them - I just wish they never had me.
I don't blame them because they were like most humans - doing that they are programmed to do, thoughtlessly, without enough introspection to question how they really feel about life, if life is worth starting, and stuff like that. Like any creature, they were programmed to procreate and did that with no malicious intent. So I do not blame them. They loved me, and tried their best as parents. But when you have a child, you have no way of knowing how life will treat it. Loving it is not shield enough for all the evils of existence.

Also, I don't blame them because there is no way to know whether our soul did not choose to incarnate. There is no evidence one way or another. We might have wanted to come, and chose the circumstances the same way our physical selves chose a video game or a book.

No point in seeking culprits here. I just wish I had never been born.