Discussion Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

[muretax]

For my whole life, I've preached the mantra, "everything happens for a reason." My original plan was to go out at the end of 2018 but I came to the conclusion that I haven't exhausted all of my options. I was at least going to move out of the toxic house I was in and move back in with my father and give myself an actual chance to improve my life. If all fails, then I have suicide. All was well the first few months of me living with my dad, I felt less weight on my shoulders, less stressed out. I was finally starting to feel better and making plans to improve my future.

June 4 I woke up to my dad banging. I went to go check up on him, he was supposed to be at work an hour ago. I find him on the kitchen floor, one look at him and I could tell he was having a stroke. Long story short, my dad suffered from a hemorrhagic stroke (bleeding in the brain) and shortly after that we learned he was also in stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. Metastatic means it was spreading. It was also found in his neck, shoulder, and surrounding lymph nodes. The last three weeks of my dad's life, he was unable to talk and had little writing skills. It was just enough for us to make out what he was trying to say. June 29th, 3:13am my dad took his last breath. I have been an absolute wreck and completely numb since.

I lost my love last May.
I lost my dad this June.
I don't know if I believe that mantra anymore and I have absolutely no idea how to fill this void.

Tell me, do you believe everything happens for a reason?

 

[TraumaBunny]

For my whole life, I've preached the mantra, "everything happens for a reason." My original plan was to go out at the end of 2018 but I came to the conclusion that I haven't exhausted all of my options. I was at least going to move out of the toxic house I was in and move back in with my father and give myself an actual chance to improve my life. If all fails, then I have suicide. All was well the first few months of me living with my dad, I felt less weight on my shoulders, less stressed out. I was finally starting to feel better and making plans to improve my future.

June 4 I woke up to my dad banging. I went to go check up on him, he was supposed to be at work an hour ago. I find him on the kitchen floor, one look at him and I could tell he was having a stroke. Long story short, my dad suffered from a hemorrhagic stroke (bleeding in the brain) and shortly after that we learned he was also in stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. Metastatic means it was spreading. It was also found in his neck, shoulder, and surrounding lymph nodes. The last three weeks of my dad's life, he was unable to talk and had little writing skills. It was just enough for us to make out what he was trying to say. June 29th, 3:13am my dad took his last breath. I have been an absolute wreck and completely numb since.

I lost my love last May.
I lost my dad this June.
I don't know if I believe that mantra anymore and I have absolutely no idea how to fill this void.

Tell me, do you believe everything happens for a reason?

This is heartbreaking. I understand how it feels to lose one's father in a traumatic way, so I'm sending you some healing vibes.

I lost the love of my life too, I know how that feels as well. It's like trying to function without a vital organ...

There were reasons and causes for my personal losses but I don't think they happened because of a supernatural punishment. Life is just an unpredictable thing and we live in a world far too unstable to cater for it in an adequate way.

 

[Soul]

(((Hugs)))
I believe things happen for reasons, but not everything. I believe you moved back in with your dad for good reasons like being able to share some more happy months with him, and to be there when he needed you. He exited with people who loved him close by, and you were able to say the important things to each other. I hope he was comfortable and at peace. I hope that will be a comfort to you, when the hurt is less fresh.

 

[SinisterKid]

Yes, a resounding yes. The reasons though are not always apparent at the time of something happening. They can reveal themselves much further down the line. I have been alive long enough to know that is possible and would not have said the same 40 years ago.

 

[Ko9]

First of all, this experience must be super heartbreaking and it takes courage to come here talking about this... I do not believe things happen for a reason or that karma exists. Karma is a nice way to live your life for sure, but it would be way better trying to do good without expecting anything back. But I am in no way living up to such a standard myself. The only logical conclusion is, that horrible things and good things happen most of the time random. And that is a very bitter pill to swallow.

 

[NoGameNoLife]

No, I think it's just a platitude. Because it's a hard pill to swallow for many that life is like bad RNG in a game and sometimes horrible things happen to people for no reason at all.

 

[burnedCookie]

based on my life experience some things happen for a reason yes, but generally speaking, no, things happen, then you try to find some valid reasons to justify it in order to make life bearable

 

[lotus11]

dude i dont know, but if yes i sure had some hella bad Karma in my past life

 

[AnnaJaspers]

Absolutely not. It's pretty clear the universe is random, and there is no reason behind any of it. I believe in cause and effect from a deterministic standpoint, but a "reason" in a spiritual sense? No.

Sorry for your losses.

 

[pole]

so sorry for what you've gone through, that's heartbreaking.

and im not sure. i do feel like sometimes, some people just have bad luck, karma or are destined for bad things.

Iv known people who have AWFUL losses; bad thing after bad thing after bad thing after bad thing. its made me realize some people just arent meant to be happy, and its sad.

 

[HGL91]

i had 3 vodkas with Tangerine juice. Truth serum tells me "no." The only reason things happen is out of coincidence and our choices.

 

[anteater]

There's no reason. We are the one that attributes motives to random things.