I don't want to do it in my room, because I've grown to hate it in 2020 and I live with my family. I would like to run away from home after midnight and go to a hotel downtown, where I feel better, and take it in early morning. I'm afraid of the dark, it makes me feel afraid of what will follow. I used to look at that hotel all the time every time I was downtown. I never thought that I would consider to die there by my own hand