I had these thoughts in several instances recently. I think a lot about a member here who committed suicide presumably. I liked him a lot but we were not that close because he exactly knew I am scared to get traumatized by it. It could be one instance of one only worries about people when it is already too late. However I already worried when he was alive. But death makes it impossible to communicate to another person. The last words will always remain the last words. At least if one does not believe in the afterlife.
I have a lot of hatred for my mom that she abused me as a child and ruined my life. However she does literally everything to help me now as good as possible. Still I often feel severe anger when I am feeling nightmarish. Though when she had a stroke I was pretty concerned. I told her often how much I love her. She even apologized to me that she had that stroke. Our family story is pretty sad and it will become very uncomfortable in the next years. I think I would have had a bad feeling when she died of that stroke and I could never have told her more explicitly that her support means much to me. Still there are often a lot of mixed emotions involved.
I think most people only became fans of Lil Peep after his death. I think the hype would have been way less if he did not die this young. I think I probably would have never become a fan in this case. It is weird to think about that. I listen to his concerts and I have high respect for the people in the audience because they were fans prior to all the news articles etc.
I think at the end of life many people regret things. For example that one never told a certain person about their feelings. Missed opportunities and the lack of will to have risked something. Though my last attempt to approach a woman fully backfired as usual when my psychotic brain screws with me. Just being bold is not enough sadly.
I need to save energy so my threads are less detailed I guess. I am scared to become ill. But the last semesters were more extreme and I have managed through that hell. But it was close to a relapse.
I have a lot of hatred for my mom that she abused me as a child and ruined my life. However she does literally everything to help me now as good as possible. Still I often feel severe anger when I am feeling nightmarish. Though when she had a stroke I was pretty concerned. I told her often how much I love her. She even apologized to me that she had that stroke. Our family story is pretty sad and it will become very uncomfortable in the next years. I think I would have had a bad feeling when she died of that stroke and I could never have told her more explicitly that her support means much to me. Still there are often a lot of mixed emotions involved.
I think most people only became fans of Lil Peep after his death. I think the hype would have been way less if he did not die this young. I think I probably would have never become a fan in this case. It is weird to think about that. I listen to his concerts and I have high respect for the people in the audience because they were fans prior to all the news articles etc.
I think at the end of life many people regret things. For example that one never told a certain person about their feelings. Missed opportunities and the lack of will to have risked something. Though my last attempt to approach a woman fully backfired as usual when my psychotic brain screws with me. Just being bold is not enough sadly.
I need to save energy so my threads are less detailed I guess. I am scared to become ill. But the last semesters were more extreme and I have managed through that hell. But it was close to a relapse.
