Do 'partners' (see thread) usually work out ?

[weedoge]

The predator wasn't confirmed at the time. As there wasn't enough public proof, I took an "innocent until proven guilty" stance. It wasn't until the moderators stepped in that I aligned with their decision, albeit hesitantly since the messages were never made public either and one user who was thought to be a victim stated that we had been misconstruing the supposedly predatory user.

People should understand that partners are risky, but that applies to anything. Tinder, OKCupid, even Pokémon Go meet-ups can go wrong.

Except the chances are a person who is going to suicide will be particularly more vulnerable and less likely to have someone watching out for them. You can safely assume that nobody (such as family or whatever) knows where a person is if they're meeting for ctb.

 

[MexicanTravels]

I don't think you are telling the truth, you continued to defend him after the mods banned him and confirmed him as a sexual predator

Like I said, I hesitantly agreed with the mods since I didn't have the whole picture. I defended the user's actions as messaging users who post on the partner's thread isn't predatory. The mods seemed to have further proof which they didn't share. That is all. I did not intend to defend a predator not do I align with predators. If you don't agree with me, just don't be my partner.

Except the chances are a person who is going to suicide will be particularly more vulnerable and less likely to have someone watching out for them. You can safely assume that nobody (such as family or whatever) knows where a person is if they're meeting for ctb.

That is very true. Some people are willing to take that risk. Some aren't. We should respect either decision just as we respect people's choices to CTB.

 

[Meeseeks]

Not in my experience. Logistics are a nightmare.

 

[MexicanTravels]

You would never have the whole picture, but you continued to defend him and even invited another user to PM you so you could explain further why the predator should not be banned.

I've already told you but let me reiterate...

I defended the user's actions of messaging other users, not predatory behavior. If you think otherwise, I'm apparently not going to change your mind, but PM me and we can discuss it further so we don't derail another thread.

 

[Empty Smile]

I may not be the brightest crayon in a box of 1 crayon, but how the hell does this thread go from asking about partners, to sex workers, to predators, to...... Whatever else there is?

This thread has been derailed so many times, I lost count.

If I were a mod, I would have locked it long ago.

 

[weedoge]

I've already told you but let me reiterate...

I defended the user's actions of messaging other users, not predatory behavior. If you think otherwise, I'm apparently not going to change your mind, but PM me and we can discuss it further so we don't derail another thread.

but why are you still mad about it? You didn't really tackle any of the other points Chinaski made in his post. He was a predator, and he's gone, so that's good right? Why not admit that you have a personal issue with someone you know nothing about and drop it lol.

I may not be the brightest crayon in a box of 1 crayon, but how the hell does this thread go from asking about partners, to sex workers, to predators, to...... Whatever else there is?

This thread has been derailed so many times, I lost count.

If I were a mod, I would have locked it long ago.

That's the nature of this site nowadays.

 

[LostGirl]

I may not be the brightest crayon in a box of 1 crayon, but how the hell does this thread go from asking about partners, to sex workers, to predators, to...... Whatever else there is?

This thread has been derailed so many times, I lost count.

If I were a mod, I would have locked it long ago.

Lol. I am only highlighting the dangers of a pact and the actions of certain members in trying to defend such abhorrent behavior.

 

[Empty Smile]

That's the nature of this site nowadays.

Yes, more people, more opinions, more anger.....

 

[Empty Smile]

Lol. I am only highlighting the dangers of a pact and the actions of certain members in trying to defend such abhorrent behavior.

I understand, but to just continue rambling the same thing over and over, is not solving the issue any. The issue was taken care of when the said predator/user was banned. That should be the end if the discussion. Right now it's just a broken record in here.

 

[weedoge]

Yes, more people, more opinions, more anger.....

better rules and more consistent moderation could solve it easily, and maybe a slight nudge in direction for the topics of conversation.

 

[Smilla]

I understand, but to just continue rambling the same thing over and over, is not solving the issue any. The issue was taken care of when the said predator/user was banned. That should be the end if the discussion. Right now it's just a broken record in here.

Completely agree.

 

[Threads]

If we're going to have a discussion about the risks of having a partner and the possibility of a partner being a predator (A possible one), can we at least keep it constructive?

 

[Meeseeks]

I'm scared to scroll up :|

 

[DeletedUser4739]

Yes you replied and I ignored you because I didn't want to, nor did I have a response.

Your calling me out means you have to take ownership for calling me out.
Perhaps I should take English 101 again, I don't know.

I found your tone on the sex worker thread to be uncomfortable for me as a former sex worker—it's clear you don't have a clue what life was or is like for current or former members of that profession.

Please calm down, thank you.

Yes, please spend some time in English 101. I suggest specifically starting with homonyms.

Your assumptions about me are laughable to anyone who actually knows me. However, I am content to allow you to continue with your assumptions. Refusing to allow yourself the benefit of ignoring me, as well as embarrassing yourself at this point.

Fortunately, I have little to no remaining attachments to appearances. I'm sorry you appear to be consumed by them. I feel badly for your suffering and how it effects your perception of those around you.

I can only wish you peace and comfort as you continue on your journey here.

 

[LostGirl]

I understand, but to just continue rambling the same thing over and over, is not solving the issue any. The issue was taken care of when the said predator/user was banned. That should be the end if the discussion. Right now it's just a broken record in here.

You are right. My apologies but I guess I am emotionally invested in this as I spoke to the target at length and I know how hurt she was by the whole thing.

 

[Empty Smile]

better rules and more consistent moderation could solve it easily, and maybe a slight nudge in direction for the topics of conversation.

It's not so much the rules and consistent moderation that can fuck up a site. I have not seen any "major" issues of rules being broken(I know there were a few, and I think mods handled them efficiently). It falls on the users to keep the site free of the bullshit and keep everything at a normal level.

 

[Empty Smile]

You are right. My apologies but I guess I am emotionally invested in this as I spoke to the target at length and I know how hurt she was by the whole thing.

You do know my comment was not just aimed at you right. If it sounded like it, I apologise. What I've seen in here is nearly everyone repeating the same thing over and over.

 

[MexicanTravels]

but why are you still mad about it? You didn't really tackle any of the other points Chinaski made in his post. He was a predator, and he's gone, so that's good right? Why not admit that you have a personal issue with someone you know nothing about and drop it lol.

I'm not mad about anything. I just pointed out behavior other users weren't fond of. We're you not paying attention to the thread? I have a personal issue with demeaning remarks, not individuals.

 

[LostGirl]

You do know my comment was not just aimed at you right. If it sounded like it, I apologise. What I've seen in here is nearly everyone repeating the same thing over and over.

No problem and no need for apologies, even if they were I agree with you. I should put a sock in it now.

 

[Empty Smile]

No problem and no need for apologies, even if they were I agree with you. I should put a sock in it now.

Nah, you're alright. No need to sock it up!

 

[Threads]

The partners thread is a containment thread. This is Sanctioned Suicide.

You do all know that if we did not have a partners thread, SS would be flooded with new users posting how they are looking for partners with new threads. We get 10 - 40 users a day, assume we're going to get 5 threads, plus reposts for partners every day without that thread, it will be clutter hell. Enforcing a rule such as 'No partners' would be exceptionally difficult. We place adequate warnings in the partners thread, and many of the new users don't read them or the rules of the thread.

If you follow the rules of this website and use it as it is meant to be used, you would never have to worry about being scammed or even having to meet someone off of this site.

 

[weedoge]

It's not so much the rules and consistent moderation that can fuck up a site. I have not seen any "major" issues of rules being broken(I know there were a few, and I think mods handled them efficiently). It falls on the users to keep the site free of the bullshit and keep everything at a normal level.

I don't think you can say anything falls on users on a forum like this tbh. I'm sorry but I definitely can't agree with your opinion there, but that's okay.

 

[stargazer]

I'll keep you all posted if it does.

Should the thread itself ever be deemed needing shut down by the mods or admins, well, that's up to them.

If I can't find it here, guess I'll always look elsewhere on the web.

All I know is, I'm hoping I'll find/have found someone, somewhere, sooner than later. You heard it here first folks. And no, I'm no cop, no creepy weirdo, just a peaceful death I seek like anyone 'normal' on here.

 

[Threads]

I don't think you can say anything falls on users on a forum like this tbh. I'm sorry but I definitely can't agree with your opinion there, but that's okay.

But when it comes to certain issues, there is only so much we can do. You have to realize that.

When a user decides to break the Personal Information rule and give PI to someone else, we didn't do that. We told them not to do that.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

I may not be the brightest crayon in a box of 1 crayon, but how the hell does this thread go from asking about partners, to sex workers, to predators, to...... Whatever else there is?

This thread has been derailed so many times, I lost count.

If I were a mod, I would have locked it long ago.

I understand your frustration. However, I think these topics keep rearing their head because they are not be effectively dealt with from the perspectives of a number of members.

I appreciate the desire to keep threads constructive, and would like to see that sort of discussion continue to flourish. I wonder how that is going to be ongoing, to enough members to keep things interesting without knock down, drag out arguments, breakdowns, attacks, etc. We're all human; even under the best circumstances we may not always say or do as we intend.

I am seeing fundamental fissures here, and I am curious to see how leadership will handle this. The demographic of this site is unique, to say the least. I don't mean this as an insult to anyone involved. However, this site is in its infancy in some ways. As it develops, these issues are going to arise and will keep rearing their heads if not addressed and resolved. I know this is something the site is making an effort to do, and hopefully, they're successful in developing whatever community best serves their purpose.

Whether or not everyone will be in agreement as to the same purpose, let alone means to fulfill that purpose--we already know that answer. Not going to happen...

 

[Empty Smile]

I don't think you can say anything falls on users on a forum like this tbh. I'm sorry but I definitely can't agree with your opinion there, but that's okay.

That's fine you disagree, and I am ok with that, but I disagree with your statement.

What is the reasons sites like this have moderators? To keep shit like this from happening.

Where does the shit start? From users.

When users start shit, who tries to contain it? The mods.

 

[weedoge]

But when it comes to certain issues, there is only so much we can do. You have to realize that.

When a user decides to break the Personal Information rule and give PI to someone else, we didn't do that. We told them not to do that.

Yes, please realise I'm not talking about the scamming issue, more the derailing and shitty threads issue.

It may be helpful, since this has become an ongoing issue for you, with me, as well as other members, for you to make use of the ignore function. :) I hope you're able to get more out of your experience here. Best wishes to you.

There's no point being fake nice when you're clearly actually being passive aggressive as heck. This applies to both of you. Please think about why you're really here, you spent two messages attempting to one-up each other on mistyping a single letter...

That's fine you disagree, and I am ok with that, but I disagree with your statement.

What is the reasons sites like this have moderators? To keep shit like this from happening.

Where does the shit start? From users.

When users start shit, who tries to contain it? The mods.

lol yes I agree with that, I completely think that it falls on the moderators and owners of a forum to make it clear what "the line" should be and to stop people from crossing it in a fair and consistent way.

 

[Threads]

Yes, please realise I'm not talking about the scamming issue, more the derailing and shitty threads issue.

I think you have to understand, when it comes to addressing a thread that is being derailed there is sort of a fine line I walk between setting it straight and letting it continue going down the path of natural progression. This thread in my opinion is undergoing natural progression. I'm not here to censor users, I'm here to protect them. I don't see anyone being overtly abusive posts, but this thread has some spice to it.

We're talking about the merits of the partners thread, let's stick on that. If you want to make a thread about moderation and how you feel it can be improved, I'm willing to hear about in the feedback forum or in my PM box. But this thread isn't for it.

This is a very diverse community, filled with very diverse users. Conversation is going to progress here, some might seeing it as derailing. If OP asks me, I'll close the thread, and they can remake it as they see fit. I don't want this conversation to derail any further into moderation tactics though. Let's keep it related to the OP and the partners thread.

 

[Smilla]

That's fine you disagree, and I am ok with that, but I disagree with your statement.

What is the reasons sites like this have moderators? To keep shit like this from happening.

Where does the shit start? From users.

When users start shit, who tries to contain it? The mods.

I think both of you have valid points—as in life there are no easy solutions and the mods can't be expected to be hypervigilantes 24/7.

When I first joined here I noticed that there were a ton of threads posting for partners (personally I am against the idea for legal and practical reasons), snd suggested ads for partners be banned.

I understand now why those ads should not be banned and why the megathread was created.

Sorry, I probably veered off topic but I think the mods are doing the best they can.

 

[Empty Smile]

Whether or not everyone will be in agreement as to the same purpose, let alone means to fulfill that purpose--we already know that answer. Not going to happen...

I don't expect everyone to agree with everything, I don't agree with everything I read on this site, but I'm tame enough not to let it piss me off. There are certain subjects that would throw me off the deep end, and I could make everyone here hate me in the blink of an eye. There are several threads on the site that I will not reply to because I could really get shit going, and that's not what I'm here for.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but sometimes it's best to keep an opinion to yourself.