Discussion do any of you want to ctb because you're bad people?

[greatfalls]

my main reason for wanting to ctb is because I keep hurting people by lying and manipulating. I grew up homeless, so I feel like it is engrained in me to lie and steal to survive, but now keep doing it to people who are good to me. I recently hurt the person who cares for me the most because I was high and fighting my own demons. idk the world would be better off without me, and that thought makes me want to ctb. Anybody else who is also just kinda evil and sees it as a reason to ctb?

 

[ramielle]

i bring nothing positive to society, and am a danger to others if they become too dependent on me. so yes.
glad to see that someone feels the same.

 

[Pvnie]

No people are jerks to me. I've tried to be a good person and be caring and so that's why I wanna ctb.

 

[orchidguy98761]

No people are jerks to me. I've tried to be a good person and be caring and so that's why I wanna ctb.

Literally same. My entire life and career were ruined because my school abused and threatened me after I fell ill. Comically evil shit and yet I was a good person like usual and it never pays off. There is a verse in the bible I think that is something along the lines of "better to enter paradise maimed than to go to hell with all your limbs" or something like that. Like even the bible acknowledges that being good and kind is thankless unless you do it for manipulative purposes. CTB is my only thing left since being a good person ruined my life, career, and dreams and left me traumatized and in debt to people who did nothing but ruin my life and treat me as subhuman for my illness and disabilities. Good to know someone else feels the same at least.

 

[frail]

i've hurt too many and it's only fair for me to receive it too

 

[smirks00ts]

yeah. ive done too much growing up. the last thing was this February. I feel like my onlt moral option is dearh.

 

[paranoias64]

yes. i think this is my reason too. sometimes i worry that i will be sending myself to hell and i should put off trying to ctb. i go back and forth in thinking that trying to suffer as much as possible in this life will get me a lighter sentence in whatevers next. or that doing it sooner will get me a lighter sentence. but yes. i want it all to end

 

[TheEndof]

Yes. I'm a bad person and don't deserve all the things I desire most in the world. What other conclusion would there be than to just end it all?

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Maybe the thing is less that you're evil and more that you're aware of it. Look around you, and you'll find that humanity in and off itself is inherently evil and selfish.

 

[valar_morghulis21]

I have pure OCD that ruminates about my past and exaggerates every time I fucked up. I got fired from an insignificant online job from using AI, and I thought I was the most evil person in the world. No one knew I was doing drugs, leading to me using AI to catch up with the workload, cause that was the only thing kept me going.

Got into conflict with others and they started spreading shit about me while I kept my mouth shut also made me spiral for a while. Now I reach a point where I just own it and don't give a fuck anymore. So what if I'm a bitch and being difficult? I wanna kill myself on my own term, not because I felt bad about being shitty to equally shitty people. At least I don't pretend I'm a saint.

 

[roastedpotato5230]

ive been a burden to my parents and keep disappointing them and its not even like they have high standards anymore

i also physically cant see myself succeeding in life at all with the way im going, im probably not gonna end up changing the world or bringing anything positive with me

fuck this shit lemme die alr

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

I have some really bad sides to myself, to the point that I'm afraid to type them. I don't want to go to jail in the future, so that's one reason why I'm okay with CTB.

 

[whatever000]

I guess if you're someone who likes to take other lives or considers shooting up a school, you should totally go for it. It's such a waste to take away the lives of people who somehow manage to like being in this terrible place.

I sometimes feel bad I'm squandering my life. If I could give it to someone who would make the most of it I would. Similarly if your existing is just ruining lives (like objectively and in big traumatic ways not just being an inconvenience or annoying) you should definitely consider exiting this world. It's probably the most justified reason out there.

And maybe THAT would make you a better person than you think.

 

[2Sensible]

I feel guilty over something i did in the past, sometimes it eat my heart to the point where i feel like ctb is the only solution. So to answer your question, it plays a huge part.

 

[KatalinaKrimson]

Honestly, the terrible things I've done in my past are definitely a factor in favor of killing myself when I weigh the decision to stay or to go.

 

[itsgone2]

Yes, major factor. I'm just not of this world. I don't know why I was allowed to be born.
I've so many regrets I can't list them all. Bad things have happened to me too but it's no excuse for my poor behavior

 

[zhaim]

yeah, i definitely feel a lot of shame and guilt about terrible things i did to some people in the past. i wish i never existed or that i was a completely different person so i never ended up hurting them. if i could, i would definitely go back in time knowing how things would play out and make sure i never make the same mistakes again. as for ctb, i dont think its an option for me just yet. i at least wanna genuinely change who i am and take accountability for my actions by helping others and putting good out into the world before i go, not be a coward and run away from the consequences of my actions. its hard living on knowing that the people i hurt hate me so much and never wanna see me again, but i just hope one day they'll see that i've changed and even though it might be impossible for them to forgive me, i hope they'd at least accept the new me. if that does ever happen, maybe i'd stop feeling like i deserve to die for what i've done.

 

[Spite]

Mostly yes. I'd say I am objectively a terrible person and in the end I always end up hurting people somehow due to my mental illness, insecurities, low self-esteem, and other psychological problems. It's better if I'm dead.

 

[Passenger4224]

I don't consider myself a bad person - I don't consider myself to be a person at all. I am way lesser.

 

[imnotcreative]

Somewhat, I hate how my mind works and have so much shame even if I haven't done anything that would make me be considered a bad person (at least recently), I know that I'm not worthy of the life others have

 

[tomame]

absolutely. i feel like everything i do somehow ends up destroying someone or something. i feel like such a liability to myself and society

 

[cvury]

bad people don't feel like they're bad people so you're likely not a bad person, a truly bad person thinks they are good or it does not matter to them.

 

[shaggydootv]

I am a bad person i would never claim to be a good person lol ive done wrong ive been done wrong but i know some people that do wrong judge others and dont feel bad about it

 

[Risingsadness]

Yes absolutely. I'm borderline and the pain and destruction I'm causing in others' lives is awful but I can't stop. I need to go, I need to be euthanized like a rabid dog.
Yes absolutely. I'm borderline and the pain and destruction I'm causing in others' lives is awful but I can't stop. I need to go, I need to be euthanized like a rabid dog.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Being a bad person is no reason to give away your life..
There are many murderers and dacoits who don't even think twice before killing others or looting even the old people.
I'm sure none of the bad people here would have committed such heinous acts. Don't think of CTB just because you are a bad person in your own eyes.
If you were a really bad person, you'd not have thought of ctb for being bad, that you a good person

 

[silverbell]

I used to think I was a good person but I am just another hypocrite and a piece of shit. I am very quick to preach goodwill to others but never follow the same myself. I feel very guilty. I should have been dead 8 months before but I have managed to come this far by being a bad person. If I had died that time atleast people would have felt some sympathy. Now I think people will just be angry at me rather than sad if I died.

 

[infinitesimal]

i have always been a violent person. when i was a child, i fought physically with my classmates for no reason. retaliated against authority, attempted to hurt the people around me and wished death upon everyone i met.

ive been punished severely for my ways, but that never stopped me from being violent. instead, i simply redirected my rage and hatred towards myself, through physical self-harm and imposing impossible standards onto myself. i often deprived myself of many things out of self-punishment. i feel as if im in an abusive relationship with myself

ok, sure that sounds understandable at first. maybe its some coping mechanism, it isnt hurting anyone else… but ive also used my self-violence as collateral to get my way. ive threatened violence on myself during disagreeements, or as a misdirected form of self-defense. its not like i ever faked any of my threats, but it was a reasonable concern. i thought i wouldnt be hurting others because id never insult them or do anything directly hurtful towards them, but i was dumb and underestimated the gravity of my actions. ive made many people walk on eggshells in fear that i may hurt myself or worse.

i do regret it but i feel like ill never have an outlet to release my violence. ive tried a lot of things, from meditating to contact sports. i feel like im a ticking time bomb and an active detriment to society. i want to be a good person, and i do take active steps to be one. but with the violence i carry, i feel like everything will be futile so i need to self-destruct