Venting how do you guys get up to eat or do anything if you don't leave your house?

[eggsausagerice]

recently, i've stopped wanting to eat. i feel really sluggish and tired, so i don't want to get out of bed because i get dizzy and nauseous when i do get up. i just don't really want to get up anymore if i don't have a reason to. i figure no one in my life will care because me having no will to live won't affect them until i'm dead. there's no use in telling people if they'll just tell me to go to therapy when it's not covered by my insurance. i'm postponing my suicide for someone so it doesn't feel like i have a choice in living at all. i don't think i have an ed, i'm just so sick of having limited options when it comes to what i eat. i either eat junk food or the same thing my parents have been cooking since i was a child. if i order out, it's always the same food there too. i wish i could just stop needing to eat. people only pretend to be concerned about you when you don't eat, but most won't care because they have their own problems to deal with.

i haven't been talking to my friends because i think that me texting then more often or trying to offer group plans in the group chat is making them get sick of me. i don't even think i really want to hang out with them, i just have no one else to spend time with and i don't have a license. i think that i might not want to keep postponing anymore, but then i would be lying to my friend i promised to. i feel like shit every day and when i do try to take care of myself i still have insomnia and eat junk food. there's no one i know that understands me or wants to hear from me. i feel really lonely. i wish there was a way out of this or somewhere i could go to calm down. going outside is overwhelming. the only place i could realistically go to relax is a psych ward, but they force me to take medication and my mom would get angry with me if i got hospitalized again because of how expensive it is. i don't know why i feel so stressed when i don't do anything with my life anymore. i haven't really felt important to anyone in a long time. it doesn't feel like there's a point.

 

[Pluto]

 

[rainhappy]

I'm truly sorry to hear all this… As for your appetite, I know there's a dietary supplement called konjac glucomannan: take at least 3 grams a day, in three doses, with plenty of water. Know that you're not alone: we're here for you, and we're listening. Death draws me inexorably, but know that as long as I'm here, I'll be here to listen to you and do everything I can .