did your personality change?

[height jumper 69]

Can't even remember when i became suicidal, don't think i ever had a sense of personality, but now i am an embodiment of anger .

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

did your personality change after being suicidal? what are the differences in your personality traits before and after being suicidal?

If you have been suicidal for a long time, you can talk about the impact of getting closer to your ctb date/suicide attempt,..etc on your personality

Thanks!

HAHA, I appreciate you giving an alternate option for people who've always been suicidal.

I've had a couple of dates that passed already where I was supposed to CTB, last winter, this fall. Now I have no official date. I want to finish reading a couple of mangas and playing a few video games before I check out.

I've always wanted to kill myself, but coming up with a plan and obtaining the materials, and knowing I can leave anytime I want, I thought it would be freeing, but it isn't. I'm very, very sad and in a lot of pain. I can't smoke or drink to give myself a little boost, I only end up crying. My hygiene is eroding bit by bit.

I'm scared of all the possibilities that come after death: Hell, the void, but most of all I'm scared of reincarnation. I don't want to come back to this world. I've been sad my entire life, and I'm convinced theres no way to rearrange the makeup of my soul to change that.

It bothers me that my death will hurt a lot of people, and it bothers me that inevitably life will go on without me. I don't want to die, I just want to not suffer anymore, and nothing in life has fixed me thus far and I'm too tired to pull myself up anymore.

 

[Isisnefert]

Ese es un buen punto. Empecé a mentir más para complacer a los demás. Incluso inventé una historia sobre ir a Hawái (no sucederá, quería cambiar de tema)

¿Cuáles son tus planes para Navidad / Año Nuevo? Dije: fue divertido conectado con la familia y salí a los lagos. Respuesta correcta: nada. Estaba bebiendo y me quedaba en casa pasando tiempo en suicidios sancionados y en reddit suicide watch

Same

 

[TheUncommon]

My personality has majorly shifted at least twice between 2015 and 2018, and then again from late 2018 to 2019. And right now, I'm assuming this is the final phase of it. A steady decline in mental capacity, which is unfortunate given friends and family knew me for it; and an eliminated emotional capacity, which is something I never cared for. But it does suck since emulating emotion takes twice the effort.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

My character has changed a lot. I used to care so much about life and now I just do whatever I feel like. I also stopped caring about my insecurities. Im a new person.

 

[piger]

did your personality change after being suicidal? what are the differences in your personality traits before and after being suicidal?

If you have been suicidal for a long time, you can talk about the impact of getting closer to your ctb date/suicide attempt,..etc on your personality

Thanks!

During different times where I have been suicidal, my personality had become more emotional, more desperate, and more reminiscent. This in turn would worry people, and then push them away- which only pushed me to be even more suicidal. People saw me as a nice person, but over time I saw myself become more bitter, more done with the world's shit, more done with everyone's shit, and my own. I became more pessimistic than ever before, and I became severely less sociable. (Well, I guess I was already well-distanced from people but I had my dumb friends with me at least back then). I wouldn't say it was a 180 flip of a personality, just more of a gradual change.

As of now (2022) I have been completely suicidal for well over a year almost two (my longest chain, I only had about 6-7 months in between the other suicidal wave in 2019, and a few cringe ones spread throughout 2014-2016) As I lean closer to CTB, its worse than ever before and I am extremely death focused, and I also now severely schizophrenic, as I find myself quite often naturally muttering "I want to kill myself" or "kill", etc. throughout the day. I can't really talk to people too well, I'm a husk of my former self. My mind constantly yearns for death, and the same thoughts just are hit on replay. Regardless I still really care about a few people in my life, but now that they are either gone or I see that they can do well without me, those attachments don't hold me back.

 

[Moonchildx13]

I don't know if I've ever had a different personality. I remember wanting to die when I was like 7yrs old. I can't remember a time in my life where I didn't want to die or at least have thoughts about my death... I think I was just born like this.