"I know it was her own selfish decision but I can't help but feel guilt sometimes" comments fishing for reassurance kind of disgust me

[Exhausted546]

Saw a thread about on reddit about someone who had a fallout with her ex friend a few years back and the ex friend committed suicide recently

She made a post saying she knew it wasn't her fault but still felt guilt for the suicide (while throwing snarky remarks her ex friend's way) , the comments were reassuring her that it wasn't her fault,she did everything she could have done. Which might be true

but to me I just imagined someone i had a fallout with in the past learning about my suicide and starting a thread making my suicide about them and people reassuring and Patting them on the back that I made my own selfish decision that caused them hurt and that they're such a good person for even feeling an unwarranted guilt and such, it'd disgust me.

Sadly when you die by suicide you forfeit all rights. People will use you for sympathy points, make it about them and use your corpse to step on to elevate themselves and get pats on the back and there's nothing you'll be able to do about it.

On the other hand, there's the people that definitely had everything to do with the person's decision to off themselves (for non manipulative cases) that are being told "You had nothing to do with it, they would have killed themselves regardless" no they wouldn't have lmao

But I understand the living need to discard guilt in order to keep on moving forward but nonetheless,it's all a farce

 

[Crumblin'Castles]

I feel you, it's always raging for me as well. On the other hand it's so funny that those calling us and our decision selfish are the most self-obsessed people.

 

[Exhausted546]

I feel you, it's always raging for me as well. On the other hand it's so funny that those calling us and our decision selfish are the most self-obsessed people.

There's people that will make your life so unbearable that your only way out is to kill yourself and they will still fish for reassurance and tons of people will tell them how there's absolutely nothing they could have done to prevent your death and they don't have the slightest bit of fault in your death

Years back I remember some girl that admitted bullying her highschool classmate so much the the bullied girl killed herself and she replied "I know I had nothing to do with it but some part of me still feels some kind of guilt"

Some people called her out saying she definitely had something to do with that death. (That was a breath of fresh air tbh) Some others were like "it was her own choice"

 

[never mind me]

The good thing is that once you are dead you don't have to worry any more about what people say about you. Really I couldn't care less what people say about me and my suicide, if I actually commit.

 

[softfur]

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[here_for_now]

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May that person rest in fucking piss, let me know if they ever die, I will celebrate on your behalf

 

[lightningwallcloud]

That person's quote is disgusting. Oh my god. I can't believe people think this way. Clearly they are just trying to feel better about the role they played in making the departed's life and time on earth worse than it needed to be. People saying this is disgusting copium rather than taking accountability for hurting someone so badly. I'm enraged reading that.

There's people that will make your life so unbearable that your only way out is to kill yourself and they will still fish for reassurance and tons of people will tell them how there's absolutely nothing they could have done to prevent your death and they don't have the slightest bit of fault in your death

Years back I remember some girl that admitted bullying her highschool classmate so much the the bullied girl killed herself and she replied "I know I had nothing to do with it but some part of me still feels some kind of guilt"

Some people called her out saying she definitely had something to do with that death. (That was a breath of fresh air tbh) Some others were like "it was her own choice"

The fact that people can be so coldhearted that they lie to themselves to avoid taking accountability is insane. I'm glad there were some people who called her out at least. I honestly feel if you drive someone to suicide, you are murdering them.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, it's all just performative, virtue signaling on behalf of their peers and themselves... Humanity really sucks and rarely, if ever, are there people who are genuinely grieving, and mostly it is shown by their actions and such. Anyhow, like what @never mind me said, once one is gone and dead, then one cannot be harmed nor have the capacity to suffer anymore. This may/not placate everyone, but objectively speaking: Whatever the survivors do after the person is dead says more about the survivors than it does about the person suffering. The most important thing, objectively speaking course, is to minimize one's own suffering and/or end one's own current suffering to no longer bear torment anymore.

 

[Exhausted546]

Yeah, it's all just performative, virtue signaling on behalf of their peers and themselves... Humanity really sucks and rarely, if ever, are there people who are genuinely grieving, and mostly it is shown by their actions and such. Anyhow, like what @never mind me said, once one is gone and dead, then one cannot be harmed nor have the capacity to suffer anymore. This may/not placate everyone, but objectively speaking: Whatever the survivors do after the person is dead says more about the survivors than it does about the person suffering. The most important thing, objectively speaking course, is to minimize one's own suffering and/or end one's own current suffering to no longer bear torment anymore.

I truly feel this

 

[CrawlingInMySkin]

I hate people who do this. They're heartless and the reason many people are here anyway. Often if they're saying things like that it was their fault. There was a post I saw a while ago about this but have since forgotten who posted it. Bottom line, suicide is a byproduct of the world being a cruel place, and everyone who calls it selfish is themself selfish. Love and peace

 

[Crumblin'Castles]

There's people that will make your life so unbearable that your only way out is to kill yourself and they will still fish for reassurance and tons of people will tell them how there's absolutely nothing they could have done to prevent your death and they don't have the slightest bit of fault in your death

Years back I remember some girl that admitted bullying her highschool classmate so much the the bullied girl killed herself and she replied "I know I had nothing to do with it but some part of me still feels some kind of guilt"

Some people called her out saying she definitely had something to do with that death. (That was a breath of fresh air tbh) Some others were like "it was her own choice"

"nothing to do"... that bully just had to STOP doing ONE thing exactly. Reading all comments here I guess suicide notes really give us some power, at least to shut the mouths of our bullies who had "nothing to do", preventing claiming themselves as "victims of grief". I definitely mention in my own note that there are people who influenced my decision, the problem is I can't name any particular and thus afraid that the guilt will be taken by the most innocent ones while real monsters be "oh, it's not about me anyway", so I need to figure out how do I put it right.

Need more of that fresh air and intelligent ppl in such cases, I'm so tired of blind ones.

 

[meowalyst]

unfortunately, this is what most to all people connected to any person committing will do. it's all a pity game and nobody ever considers the actual person themselves. it's truly disgusting

 

[Passenger4224]

unfortunately, this is what most to all people connected to any person committing will do. it's all a pity game and nobody ever considers the actual person themselves. it's truly disgusting

Exactly this.

But it's fine, because no matter what they say or do they can't bring us back.