• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
mittymittens

mittymittens

let's make it quick, ok?
Jun 11, 2023
81
i lost my dad last year, it's been hard, sometimes i wish i lost my feelings permanently in some sick way so id stop feeling sad about it.

doesn't have to be death either, anyone break up, cut you off, or you decided to leave them, why?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LetMeOut67, Forever Sleep and -Link-
L

Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,279
Quite a few friends and relatives, including both parents.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Realgar
R

Realgar

Member
Aug 19, 2024
90
Yes, friends and relatives. The most painful deaths were my 2 dogs.
 
I

itsgone2

-
Sep 21, 2025
1,667
Before 14 I lost three grandparents and my father. Last grandparent about 10 years later. Brother, suicide, about 4 years ago. I think to many deaths too close together when young helped shape me, negatively. Not the only things that did but a part of it.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: Terrible_Life
TheEndIsPeace

TheEndIsPeace

Member
Sep 27, 2025
88
Yes, I have lost many relatives and the saddest part was that a lot of them were so young, the youngest being only 16 years of age.
 
F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
4,009
Been going to family funerals since I was 8 months old 😎🤙 I always think it is the reason why I am so desensitized to dying and see death as a natural part of life. While most were extended family I did not see often, I do miss a few relatives that I have lost.

As for friends, I am usually the one to cut them off. We have all changed as people as we grew older and what bound us in friendship originally is no longer applicable, so I stopped talking to them. Do not miss them persay, more the nostalgia of when things were better.

Am currently so self-isolated due to my depression that I do not really miss anyone. I do not have feelings for anyone external anymore.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress87
MyShadow

MyShadow

Left the forum to pursue recovery
Aug 27, 2025
475
i lost my dad last year, it's been hard, sometimes i wish i lost my feelings permanently in some sick way so id stop feeling sad about it.

doesn't have to be death either, anyone break up, cut you off, or you decided to leave them, why?
Lost my dad, brother, sister-in-law in less than a year of each other.
I've reached the age when I've lost more friends and family than I will gain.
Been to so many funerals in the past few years, I've lost count.
So tired of the losses.
 
SparkleWater

SparkleWater

Student
Oct 13, 2020
115
A couple but i think im gonna lose my mom real soon.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: mittymittens
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
15,354
I'd lost 3 of my close family members by the time I was 10. My Mum when I was 3, Grandpa 4, Nana, 10. Since then, it's slowed down somewhat but still, a lot more loss. Maybe after the last few times- either because of death or, just moving away from people and losing touch, I decided I'd had enough. That the positives of having people and love in life and then losing that was too much to go through again. I'm a lot more solitary now. I'm a lot calmer as a result but, it's not exactly joyous either.

I haven't lost anyone in real life to suicide. As far as I know, I would be the first in my family to do it. However, after experiencing so much bereavement, I can't quit bring myself to do it to them. I'm hoping to be able to hold on for my last remaining close family member- my Dad to go first, before I follow him. Hopefully, in quick succession. I don't want to experience more prolongued grief over him again.
 
Pfysch

Pfysch

This is not a dress rehearsal.
Sep 29, 2025
13
My ex(and rapist)'s sister killed herself around 3 years ago. Everyone was shocked, but no one was surprised. I talked again with her mom just a few months ago. She was just like me in a lot of ways.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LetMeOut67
Irisse

Irisse

Art belongs to Maksn (on yt)
Sep 8, 2025
506
I lost my paternal grandparents and unborn sibling when I was 5. None of it was by suicide though. I think that's what caused my depression.
 
karenin

karenin

I know I'm not right, but I'm not wrong
Sep 22, 2025
29
I lost my father, he CTB'd when I was in my early 20s. He made his decision out of the blue, but I think I understood his decision clearly. We had a lot in common. I also lost two friends of mine, one in car crash accident, and the other accidental OD' after his brother suicide. All of them had really tough life.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LetMeOut67
RoseGirl

RoseGirl

痛い痛い痛い
May 8, 2025
233
gf died. hung 2 weeks ago.
mum died. long time ago, I'd be in a better place if she was in my life.
 
Grav

Grav

Elementalist
Jul 26, 2020
879
My grandfather back in 1975. The best adult I ever knew and I wanted to be like him so much. I probably would be dealing with life much better if he had made it through my teenage years.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LetMeOut67
LetMeOut67

LetMeOut67

Mage
May 7, 2025
568
Both parents have died in last 7 years. I'm 58
I think losing my father has driven me to a breakdown
Rather cos so much was unresolved between us than because we were super close which we weren't
 
ChaosMaid

ChaosMaid

New Member
Dec 15, 2023
1
I lost my best and only friend to suicide by overdosing in her apartment washroom 2 years ago. She was 17, i'm 20 now.
it completely changed my life. all i do is rot in my room now abusing benzos hoping i drop dead in my sleep
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
9,598
My entire family is gone. 100%. Like literally. I'm the last one left. Not a good place to be. I didn't ask for this shit.
 

Similar threads

squillykilly
Replies
30
Views
938
Suicide Discussion
tipoftheRGB
T
meowzers3276
Replies
8
Views
458
Suicide Discussion
SDB
S
Leonard_Bangley39
Replies
0
Views
217
Suicide Discussion
Leonard_Bangley39
Leonard_Bangley39
faraway_sayu
Replies
1
Views
141
Suicide Discussion
TheBestFisch
TheBestFisch