Discussion Would you still CTB if you had your memory wiped?

[FoolsExpedition]

A lot of what drives me to want to leave this mortal coil is a huge backlog of traumatic memories and experiences and a lost love who I should hate but still struggle with caring about. I often wonder if I would feel better with my memory wiped. What about you guys?

I think it would help a lot but not fix everything as there's still a lot of other factors that have me this way, but I think I would perhaps be passively suicidal rather than actively. it would help with an awful lot of wounds.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Wow thats similar to me its a very good question im not suree

 

[fluorescentpearl]

Realistically yeah, but I don't know if I ever would want to forget him, or the things that made me Me, so I'd rather just remember and die

 

[interna]

yeah cuz of my living situation

 

[Canto XIII]

If I had my memory completely wiped, I wouldn't remember my suicidal intentions either, so in the short term I wouldn't. But I think I'd ultimately end up where I am anyway, if maybe after years, because my flaws are intrinsecal.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I don't think clearing my memory would fundamentally change the damage those memories have done to my brain.

 

[KiraNosferatu]

Logically yeah but i don't want that.

 

[canidiealreadyy]

A lot of what drives me to want to leave this mortal coil is a huge backlog of traumatic memories and experiences and a lost love who I should hate but still struggle with caring about. I often wonder if I would feel better with my memory wiped. What about you guys?

I think it would help a lot but not fix everything as there's still a lot of other factors that have me this way, but I think I would perhaps be passively suicidal rather than actively. it would help with an awful lot of wounds.

i think i would absolutely love to lose my memory! i often fantasize that when i die, reincarnation is a real thing and i will get to live the life i've always dreamed of living.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

S

Logically yeah but i don't want that.

Same

 

[Forveleth]

Difficult to say I am currently in an abusive relationship, but losing my memory may also erase the lack of self-confidence given to me by my parents, so maybe I could get away from this asshole and live a normal life.

Interesting question.

 

[Passenger4224]

As long as I am me, yes I would

 

[Pluto]

 

[hdead]

Nah. Wiping my memory will only be a temporary fix. I think I need a new constitution all together. If I woke up tomorrow with no memory I'd just be confused as to why I'm feeling so stressed and anxious all the time. At least right now I understand WTF is going on.

I need a reboot in a healthy family if I wanted to be fixed.

 

[unluckysadness]

If a pill exists for wiping my memory, I'll take it without any doubt. Too much traumas ruined my life. But erasing my memory isn't enough, I need a full brain reset to heal from all my diseases. Impossible at this point (maybe in the future), so for now I don't see any other option than ctb.

 

[Cepheuss]

I would still be suicidal as i just dont enjoy living but i would find actually committing suicide harder without all the traumatic memories to push me

 

[N-methylamphetamine]

I dont know honestly, I guess not

 

[victimized]

i dont believe i have a very traumatic past. i can barely remember my childhood as-is. i feel like if my memory were erased then i would still be depressed and suicidal, since its only my brain that makes me feel this way, not really past memories. if anything, i feel like i would CTB quicker, since there ARE some past memories keeping me here, memories of my friends and small moments where i was able to feel even a little bit of understanding and maybe even joy.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I had already put the past behind me, that wouldn't help me at all.

 

[100memoryleaks]

yes, i would eventually probably end up in a similar situation i am in now

 

[violetforever]

if i forgot about all of my memories of traumatic experiences that shaped me into such a worthless and hopeless being then i might have a chance. it would also have to include being apart of a new family too or else the traumatic experiences would just start again and id need my memory constantly rewiped which defeats the purpose in the first place lol.

 

[thinvy]

Like... to the point where I wouldn't even have the same physical reactions or compulsions and all that? I... would not be me, but I guess so, yeah. I don't think it would be feasible for me though. The way my c-ptsd broke me, there's no "fixing". like my brain still wouldn't function the same as the average person's if I woke up tomorrow with no memories. In fact, forgetting the worst thing that ever happened to me actually made my life hell and is part of why I was suffering so particularly badly over the winter. I simply couldn't cope with having forgotten that, nor having to remember it now.

tldr it's a nice fantasy to have. if I could just have a fresh blank brain in my body, I think I'd like to give it a chance to live a new life even if the body it's going into has issues.

 

[haihaihai]

i doubt my depression would be wiped too lolll

also i love puzzle!!

 

[Le temps perdu]

i think i would cuz my environment is the root of the problem, even the memory wiped but I feel I'd just end up trapped in some sort of cycle

 

[FuneralCry]

I'll always and only hope to permanently cease existing no matter what, in this existence of torturous, futile suffering only the peace of non-existence could ever be positive for me and all I want is for this existence to be erased so it's like I never suffered at all.

I just want to be free from this existence that only ever tortures existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, to me existence will just always be a mistake and it's just so terrible how this existence was even imposed at all, it's just so deeply undesirable to exist in every way. I'll just always see existence itself as the true problem that only ever causes all this futile, dreadful suffering and no matter what I'd just never wish to be conscious of anything at all, it's just so horrible how a human can be tortured in this existence for so long just to face the terrible extreme agony of old age.

 

[zxcvbn3857]

Yes. I would very quickly end up feeling the same way as I do now except I would feel a little less sure about it.

 

[Grinchy]

Would depend on the environment ig. People would quickly remind you why you were in the place you were in the first place.

 

[Tomorrow Is Today]

Could go either way. I've been quite blessed with my upbringing, but my personality makes me rather volatile when facing emotional distress. If I get lucky then I can just breeze my way through life. Otherwise it's only a matter of time before a major event shakes me into being suicidal again.

 

[sleepytime5]

A lot of what drives me to want to leave this mortal coil is a huge backlog of traumatic memories and experiences and a lost love who I should hate but still struggle with caring about. I often wonder if I would feel better with my memory wiped. What about you guys?

I think it would help a lot but not fix everything as there's still a lot of other factors that have me this way, but I think I would perhaps be passively suicidal rather than actively. it would help with an awful lot of wounds.

Trauma rewires the brain, I suffer from CPTSD and it's the main reason my life is so fucking shit, but anyways if you were to wipe my memory i'd show the same symptoms just not knowing why (hyper vigilance, anxiety, si, etc) If my brain were to reset however I would NOT want to CTB