Yes exactly, I also think I have PTSD from a particular situation with a women I believe has NPD. I have panic attacks throughout the day when something reminds/triggers me of the situation and start shaking uncontrollably, can't breathe, feel like self harming, strangling myself etc... and the situation happened 3 years ago
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*Hope*
Student
- Jan 18, 2021
- 112
There was one guy at my school who would gaslight people and indirectly bully them. He made me hate school and made me lose trust in almost everyone
mini_weeny
Every cradle is a grave
- Jan 5, 2021
- 340
Oh yess it can be years and they will show up in our dreams... nightmares.
Yes the thing is it takes months or years to realize ur dealing with a narcissist and by then it's too late :(
Perennis odium, I will forever hate the human race, if I ever leave a suicide note I will make very clear that the worst thing in my life was people and the best was animals, the only companions worth having. It's really a disgrace that old age or illness forces us to be with other humans in order to survive and that our survival instinct makes it almost impossible to kill ourselves when we are trapped in these situations of forced conviviality with people.
I would say you are the only white sheep amongst wolves. :( sorry to hear.
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Neowise
We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
- Oct 7, 2020
- 352
My mother is a narcissist.
Her mental abuse was and is so bad that the first time I talked about killing myself was when I was 8 or 9 years old. She can say really mean things, doesn't take critizism and gets angry if you do something wrong or something she doesn't like. I'm still living at home due to studying so I won't move out for the next 2 years. But once I do I will celebrate my freedom.
Yes, she is basically the only big reason I am on this site.
Her mental abuse was and is so bad that the first time I talked about killing myself was when I was 8 or 9 years old. She can say really mean things, doesn't take critizism and gets angry if you do something wrong or something she doesn't like. I'm still living at home due to studying so I won't move out for the next 2 years. But once I do I will celebrate my freedom.
Yes, she is basically the only big reason I am on this site.
mini_weeny
Every cradle is a grave
- Jan 5, 2021
- 340
Well Hitler loved his dog.
So 100% fake people, super good actors. How awful.
Well yes there's comes a time (no offense) when their toxicity and web of lies and cheating comes back to bit their ass and that's when their world comes crashing down but they are so clever they can always con someone else and get back on their feet, good survivors they are. Which I guess is why natural selection hasn't weed them out of the gene pool.
Wow so sorry to hear. Those ppl should not reproduce.
I don't think they can actually recover since they are hardwired to be that way probably from birth plus a bit of nurture on the way growing up.
Their charm is completly hypnotic, it's really hard to not fall for them and those most at risk are empaths. We empaths end completely FUBARd after a relationship with these ppl. Really sad how they use and abuse everyone in their lives. They are complete wrecking balls.
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NightmareTour
Specialist
- May 13, 2020
- 398
It's scary how narccists/sociopaths can come across as the nicest, most trustworthy people you've ever met until they show you otherwise. It took until the second brush with death at his hands (third or fourth caused by him) until I got the fuck out of there. Lost my flat, made my health even worse, destroyed any progress I had made and worst of all, ruined my ability to care about people the way I used to. I feel like he drained the life from me and left me as a shell of a person. He enjoyed it, and I'm sure he's still enjoying knowing that he thoroughly destroyed my life and that the memories he left me with affect me every day.
I don't think I could ever harm him still, I couldn't even when he was physically attacking me. That's not something I think about, but I hope he gets knocked off of his pedestal before he can do it to someone else.
I don't think I could ever harm him still, I couldn't even when he was physically attacking me. That's not something I think about, but I hope he gets knocked off of his pedestal before he can do it to someone else.
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mini_weeny
Every cradle is a grave
- Jan 5, 2021
- 340
Same here, but maybe it's actually a good thing to stop caring and trusting people in general. Humans are more wicked and dangerous than we think even when they are not narcissists or sociopaths because self interest always will come first.
I have said this before here, so here it goes again. My "parents" wanted a boy and a girl. They had a boy 1st time around and the 2nd time around they had me. Then they "tried" one more and got a girl. My "dad" loved my older brother and my "mom" loved her daughter. I was ALWAYS called " the mistake". When my "mom" had the last kid, her daughter, she almost died, and my "dad" ALWAYS said that it was MY fault becasue I was supposed to be a girl and not a boy. They called me "the mistake" from when I can remember till I got kicked out at 18. At 18 my "parents" figured out that I was bi and kicked me out and NEVER spoke to me again ever, their choice. When they died they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash and my older brother got over 2 million U.S. dollars. I was left out of the will and I got ZERO. Even today, since I am bi, niether my brother or sister will have anything to do with me and this has been for over 30 years. So YES I have had narcissists and sociopaths around me. BUT I have my loving global family here and that makes it all better. THANK YOU to everyone here!!!! Walter 
mini_weeny
Every cradle is a grave
- Jan 5, 2021
- 340
I still wonder what's the point of reproducing and then not taking care of those ppl. Big hug and you're definitely not a mistake, we are just fucking atoms randomly existing in a complex system called life.I have said this before here, so here it goes again. My "parents" wanted a boy and a girl. They had a boy 1st time around and the 2nd time around they had me. Then they "tried" one more and got a girl. My "dad" loved my older brother and my "mom" loved her daughter. I was ALWAYS called " the mistake". When my "mom" had the last kid, her daughter, she almost died, and my "dad" ALWAYS said that it was MY fault becasue I was supposed to be a girl and not a boy. They called me "the mistake" from when I can remember till I got kicked out at 18. At 18 my "parents" figured out that I was bi and kicked me out and NEVER spoke to me again ever, their choice. When they died they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash and my older brother got over 2 million U.S. dollars. I was left out of the will and I got ZERO. Even today, since I am bi, niether my brother or sister will have anything to do with me and this has been for over 30 years. So YES I have had narcissists and sociopaths around me. BUT I have my loving global family here and that makes it all better. THANK YOU to everyone here!!!! Walter
I don't think anyone knows what the hell we are doing here or why or what for.
LONE WOLF.
PUNISHER.
- Nov 4, 2020
- 1,976
Yeah Hitler loved his dog 'Blondie' so much that he made the dog bite down on a cyanide capsule to see if it worked!
WhatDoesTheFoxSay?
DoNotBoopTheSnoot
- Dec 25, 2020
- 1,073
Mentalmick
IMHOTEP!!!
- Nov 30, 2020
- 2,050
My father was a self obsessed prick. Old bastard better hope he never runs into me again.
BornofDust
Student
- Dec 11, 2020
- 132
The point of reproduction for these types of people are simply to be able to control and bend them to their will and their image. That's pretty much it. Anything else they say why is complete BS. These people often time's don't value their children as autonomous individuals but as pieces to their chessboards. Example of this is how Michael Jackson was basically FORCED to become a major star at the expense of his own indivulality and childhood, and look where that led up too. For both him and many people like him.
Also people who call their child a " mistake' are clearly immature and not able to properly process their frustration without taking it out on a child. The only mistake they did is taking it out on you in the first place.
demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,383
Yep, my ex boyfriend is most defenitely a narcissist and I didn't see it at first. Because like everyone here says, they can be so sweet, charming and caring one time and the rest of the time it's just humiliation, manipulation, lies and insults. I think he leeched of me for about a year, then took off to his come country of Brazil and left me with nothing. I literally gave him everything. He could stay at my house which I don't like because I like living at home. He never paid any rent, pay for any groceries and when I was sleeping he just smoked all my cigarettes. Always when you confront them they cry and say they were so damaged by their parents and they are so depressed. And then I care again. I kept going, until there was nothing left. He got me kicked out of college, got me arrested, made me alienate me from all my friends so now I have nobody left and he is also gone. He lied to his friends about me. Told them I was crazy when in fact he was actually the crazy one. They attacked me and said I needed to leave him alone and that he never loved me. That I'm ugly, that I'm crazy, that he just used me for my recourses and for sex. And to me he said I was the most special girl he ever met. The first to understand him and his NPD. I was the one that actually diagnosed him. I hope he dies. I hope he gets killed over an iPhone. Because in Brazil that's what you can get killed over. I was him nothing but misery. The same misery he caused me. And still I sought his approval. Well no more. I just blocked him after he blocked me over a 100 times and I feel no need to ever speak to him again. Like you all say, they always find another victim and I already sorry for her. His new gf is 18 while he is 25. She believes anything he says and never questions him. She was even disrespectful to me and harassed me. I understand because that's what they do. They lie. They lie, cheat and manipulate. He is one of the main reasons why I'm so depressed and on this site now. Not just him but he was one of the biggest reasons. These last two years were the worst of my life and not even because of the pandemic. Because of him.
My wife. Emotional abuse, not physical.
Absolutely. My parents are pure evil.
Just about half an hour ago, I told her I haven't been coping well with the divorce and all. She says she's been taking it harder than I have cause the top she was wearing is now more loose-fitting..
Just about half an hour ago, I told her I haven't been coping well with the divorce and all. She says she's been taking it harder than I have cause the top she was wearing is now more loose-fitting..
My mother was a really bad narcissist. She used to enjoy making me feel like I was nothing. This is going to sound harsh, but she signed my death certificate before I even hit 10.
kappa
Experienced
- Apr 2, 2019
- 233
I have a mother and brother who I believe are, no longer in contact with them.
Ended up dating a narcissist too, but I can't say any of them "ruined" my life.
I have problems with self worth and always feel like nothing I do is good enough. I avoid relationships after dealing with narcissists.
Ended up dating a narcissist too, but I can't say any of them "ruined" my life.
I have problems with self worth and always feel like nothing I do is good enough. I avoid relationships after dealing with narcissists.
NightmareTour
Specialist
- May 13, 2020
- 398
You had a scarily similar experience to mine, aside from (fortunately) not experiencing the violent side of things. Losing everything to a person like that is hell.
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Yes. I've ruined my entire life and all of my relationships and friendships by being a manipulative, narcissistic prick. Mostly why i hate myself to the point of wanting to ctb actually. I can't stand myself any longer.
One girl with personality order did fuck me up
Misantrope
Member
- Jan 14, 2021
- 29
My ex boyfriend had NPD. Now I'm sure of it. He was manipulative, used to abuse me physically and mentally, in the end he left me with debts..
FatalSystemError591
{He/They}
- Oct 12, 2020
- 229
My mother attempted to murder me when I was 5. She first denied doing it altogether and the event occurring, then gaslighted me and said it went differently than I remember, then denied it again, She now vehemently denies it ever happened.
She almost killed me again at 10 years old. She terrified me into a corner and held a metal object to my face screaming like she was having a psychotic episode and saying she was going to f**cking kill me. A relative saved my life and got inbetween her.
First she denied it ever happening, then she admitted to that relative (while she thought I was out of earshot) that she might have done it, then she denied it again. Then she finally admitted it, but said it was all my fault. She said I was impossible to deal with.
She also says I was an angel and a very quiet child that "she raised right to have respect". That I was always very smart and mature and well behaved. To other people and me when it benefitted her in some way.
Her narrative about me changes however it suits her at the time. I have never once in my entire life seen her express genuine empathy or sympathy for the suffering I've told her she's brought upon me. She's laughed in my face, screamed at me, threatened to hurt me, hurt me, threatened to have my father murder me, called the police on me, you name it.
The best apology she can give is "I'm sorry you feel that I did this".
She told me she was evaluated and came back 'perfectly healthy and fine' when I begged her to go to family therapy w/ me. She said she didn't care if I never spoke to her again.
The next month when she needed the support she told me she was depressed and suicidal and had been dealing with a therapist for years.
I've seen her go from full-on bawling in tears to pokerface right after she hangs up the phone. She fakes her voice all the time to sound proper or sad or angry depending on who she wants to manipulate. She uses her illness as a way to garner sympathy.
She used to "constantly fall ill" from it when that relative I mentioned was around and I mean literally almost every single time they visited. For years and years and years. Just whoopsie, suddenly I'm very very bad again. And as soon as they leave back to normal again. Since they've died she hasn't "fallen ill" once. Physical illness by the way, not mental.
I used to rely on that relative for safety because I was terrified of my mother when I was a child. She manipulated them into believing it was all my fault with waterworks and bullshit inconsistent stories she knew said relative was getting too old to keep track of.
She is pure evil. She left me to rot in a dark room for years without a care in the world and takes no responsibility as a parent at all. She did nothing to raise me in my entire life and didn't teach me any lessons about anything. All I remember is her screaming, violent face.
Her response is an eyeroll. Her last response was screaming at me like an irate teenager, threatening suicide and dramatically putting a knife to her wrist before slamming a door in my face. When I held the phone ready to call the police (the irony), she went right back to mellow as a calm lake and asked me who I was calling in a robotic voice. I explained to her what she'd just done and how concerned I am for her after she did that, that it frightened me. In disbelief I explained aloud that she'd just visually threatened to kill herself and I had to do something. She didn't seem to understand the problem. She told me to stop calling people and went back to normal.
Every behaviour she has or horrible thing she does to me she turns around and says I do. I mean verbatim. She will list out all of the things she does to me and say I do them to her, sometimes moments after she does them. There have been times where in the middle of serious multiple-hour-long talks (countless over the years, possibly over 1k because she runs in circles and it is always my fault, no matter what) in a desperate effort to change things I've asked a simple question, such as "Can you explain to me why you reacted that way? I just want to understand what I did to deserve it" and stood in silence for 30 minutes, and she's said nothing at all because I gave her nothing to manipulate me with.
Then she'd eventually notice I'm standing there and say "I didn't realize you were still there, I'd assumed we'd finished talking."
Because she'd finished talking.
I am convinced she is a narc psycho, or sociopath. And I've been trapped with her in isolation for years. I now don't talk to her and the house is silent, I can't remember the last time I used my voice to have a conversation w someone that wasn't her.
This is the first time in years I've told anyone about this.
She almost killed me again at 10 years old. She terrified me into a corner and held a metal object to my face screaming like she was having a psychotic episode and saying she was going to f**cking kill me. A relative saved my life and got inbetween her.
First she denied it ever happening, then she admitted to that relative (while she thought I was out of earshot) that she might have done it, then she denied it again. Then she finally admitted it, but said it was all my fault. She said I was impossible to deal with.
She also says I was an angel and a very quiet child that "she raised right to have respect". That I was always very smart and mature and well behaved. To other people and me when it benefitted her in some way.
Her narrative about me changes however it suits her at the time. I have never once in my entire life seen her express genuine empathy or sympathy for the suffering I've told her she's brought upon me. She's laughed in my face, screamed at me, threatened to hurt me, hurt me, threatened to have my father murder me, called the police on me, you name it.
The best apology she can give is "I'm sorry you feel that I did this".
She told me she was evaluated and came back 'perfectly healthy and fine' when I begged her to go to family therapy w/ me. She said she didn't care if I never spoke to her again.
The next month when she needed the support she told me she was depressed and suicidal and had been dealing with a therapist for years.
I've seen her go from full-on bawling in tears to pokerface right after she hangs up the phone. She fakes her voice all the time to sound proper or sad or angry depending on who she wants to manipulate. She uses her illness as a way to garner sympathy.
She used to "constantly fall ill" from it when that relative I mentioned was around and I mean literally almost every single time they visited. For years and years and years. Just whoopsie, suddenly I'm very very bad again. And as soon as they leave back to normal again. Since they've died she hasn't "fallen ill" once. Physical illness by the way, not mental.
I used to rely on that relative for safety because I was terrified of my mother when I was a child. She manipulated them into believing it was all my fault with waterworks and bullshit inconsistent stories she knew said relative was getting too old to keep track of.
She is pure evil. She left me to rot in a dark room for years without a care in the world and takes no responsibility as a parent at all. She did nothing to raise me in my entire life and didn't teach me any lessons about anything. All I remember is her screaming, violent face.
Her response is an eyeroll. Her last response was screaming at me like an irate teenager, threatening suicide and dramatically putting a knife to her wrist before slamming a door in my face. When I held the phone ready to call the police (the irony), she went right back to mellow as a calm lake and asked me who I was calling in a robotic voice. I explained to her what she'd just done and how concerned I am for her after she did that, that it frightened me. In disbelief I explained aloud that she'd just visually threatened to kill herself and I had to do something. She didn't seem to understand the problem. She told me to stop calling people and went back to normal.
Every behaviour she has or horrible thing she does to me she turns around and says I do. I mean verbatim. She will list out all of the things she does to me and say I do them to her, sometimes moments after she does them. There have been times where in the middle of serious multiple-hour-long talks (countless over the years, possibly over 1k because she runs in circles and it is always my fault, no matter what) in a desperate effort to change things I've asked a simple question, such as "Can you explain to me why you reacted that way? I just want to understand what I did to deserve it" and stood in silence for 30 minutes, and she's said nothing at all because I gave her nothing to manipulate me with.
Then she'd eventually notice I'm standing there and say "I didn't realize you were still there, I'd assumed we'd finished talking."
Because she'd finished talking.
I am convinced she is a narc psycho, or sociopath. And I've been trapped with her in isolation for years. I now don't talk to her and the house is silent, I can't remember the last time I used my voice to have a conversation w someone that wasn't her.
This is the first time in years I've told anyone about this.
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Neowise
We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
- Oct 7, 2020
- 352
Man, all those stories are so sad. Nobody should have to go through that. Narcissists are truly one of the worst people out there. Especially because most of them aren't evil on purpose, it's just the way they are. I'm certain my mother doesn't have bad intentions when she says things like I should jump off a bridge. It is evil but I believe she doesn't understand the feelings they cause in me.
Your story kinda hit me because it is so "stupid" (no offense). Being so focused on the gender of a child... Isn't it more important that the child is doing well? Who cares about its genitalia... This shows that these people aren't good for you, even if they are your own family. I'm glad you have found a new family that is loving you and enables you to live a better life.I have said this before here, so here it goes again. My "parents" wanted a boy and a girl. They had a boy 1st time around and the 2nd time around they had me. Then they "tried" one more and got a girl. My "dad" loved my older brother and my "mom" loved her daughter. I was ALWAYS called " the mistake". When my "mom" had the last kid, her daughter, she almost died, and my "dad" ALWAYS said that it was MY fault becasue I was supposed to be a girl and not a boy. They called me "the mistake" from when I can remember till I got kicked out at 18. At 18 my "parents" figured out that I was bi and kicked me out and NEVER spoke to me again ever, their choice. When they died they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash and my older brother got over 2 million U.S. dollars. I was left out of the will and I got ZERO. Even today, since I am bi, niether my brother or sister will have anything to do with me and this has been for over 30 years. So YES I have had narcissists and sociopaths around me. BUT I have my loving global family here and that makes it all better. THANK YOU to everyone here!!!! Walter
Ahh, the classic. Every man says this sentence to every woman, it's probably best to not believe this anymore at this point. I'm really sorry you experienced this, it's sad we sometimes meet the wrong people but notice it when it's too late.
mini_weeny
Every cradle is a grave
- Jan 5, 2021
- 340
Ohh gosh sounds like a very traumatizing experience that lasted far too long!!! I think ppl like us need special trauma processing therapy in order to try to over come all the abuse. I hope talking about it helped you a little bit. Sending big hug. These ppl are crazy :(
Yep, it felt like i lost everything. Thank god I had somewhat supportive parents and I know what a narcissist looks now. I'm sorry that it also happened to you. They are worst kind of people alive
