Venting Dealing with the wildest diagnosis possibilities

[777puppy777]

So I know I'm schizo and have CPTSD for sure. But I might have OSDD because it feels like the voices are way to sentient. And I feel like I might have NPD as well. So main symptoms are voices embodying my trauma trying to get me to acknowledge them and help them, and then I'm dealing with obsessing over myself and looks so much that it's the only thing involved in my future goals. I'm so fucked up it's not even funny I don't know how the fuck I'm still alive. I don't even believe this. This is bullshit-there is no way I'm this fucked up but all the criteria matches up very well. Like idk I feel fucking clinically insane at this point. I'm still surviving due to my big ass ego so thanks ego?? Because if I don't make money I can't 'look the best.' Idk this is stupid. But the narcissism feels good? Like liberating? But it's also hell because my self esteem is shit when I don't get what I want and I feel like no one understands me. And the possible OSDD ugh-those voices-so annoying. Idk what they are but I'm just gonna go for schizo because they arnt always sentient. I just wish I could never wake up. I'm so confused. I feel so alone. I feel like I should just be the best and get what I want and I logically understand that bad but emotionally I just can't let go of it. I'm fucked….