Ctb random thoughts

[Clover]

I am scared that I'm immortal and that even N won't work.

 

[Redt2go]

I wish I could die without killing myself

 

[Amber1974]

I wish I could die without killing myself

Me too that would be ideal

 

[Gina]

The pain, survival mode, my mom, my grandma.

 

[Saga]

I wish I died on the day of my first attempt

I always think about this.

 

[Kjo]

I wish I died on the day of my first attempt

Me too

 

[Saga]

I think its funny when you want help no one listens to you but at the same time when you ctb everyone says "He/She could've talked to me" ..like why?

 

[bath salts]

I think its funny when you want help no one listens to you but at the same time when you ctb everyone says "He/She could've talked to me" ..like why?

They want people to still think they're a good person, when in reality they are selfish and will always put themselves first. People are scum.

 

[Saga]

They want people to still think they're a good person, when in reality they are selfish and will always put themselves first. People are scum.

I agree with that...money making people and people who satisfy themselves with the pain of others for their entertainment..Such a fuck up world

 

[Numbtopain97]

I wish I could just go into a coma for a few years honestly. I wanna die but I don't wanna die if that makes any sense

 

[DreamCatcher]

I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either.

Found a bug proof tent so I can CTB out peacefully in nature without having to worry about bugs or critters being obnoxious to me while my body is still warm.

A nice peaceful sleep where I don't have to wake up anymore to deal with the idiocy of life.

 

[Lennox]

Carbon Monoxide (CO) has been my method of choice. And I was actually thinking of combining it with SN.

However recently I've been considering a switch from CO to hydrogen sulfide (H2S) gas, because the necessary gas concentration is 10x less than that of CO and it's easier to make. However if I do that then I can't use SN at the same time anymore, because SN is a known antidote for H2S.

How interesting isn't it? That a poison can act at the same time as antidote to another poison.

One other possibility is to combine H2S and cyanide (which I can make). Cyanide is supposed to be painful, however H2S is known to cause loss of consciousness pretty fast ("Knockdown effect", within few breaths), so in theory I wouldn't feel a thing from the cyanide. And the upside to this is that cyanide is surefire deadly, so no way I would fail.

I wish there was a way to test this "knockdown effect" of H2S on myself before actually using it to ctb. However this is completely impossible, since even low level exposure to H2S frequently leads to chronic sequelae.

 

[Higgy123]

I really want someone to shoot me in the head for £200

 

[c824767]

I wish I died on the day of my first attempt

same, that was February 2019, you?

 

[a_strange_day]

I wish I could die without killing myself

Yes. It's so hard to kill yourself when you have become some sort of an emotionless zombie with no real feelings, no impulsivity. It would be ideal.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Certain people better pray that I don't come back as a vengeful spirit.