preoppostmortem
god bless your transsexual heart
- Jul 15, 2023
- 11
sorry if this seems disrespectful to any (ex) military. i mean im suicidal so we've established im self-centered right
anyway I've been thinking about if I could enlist and step on a fuckinf land mine or some shit in some third world country so they can tell my parents I did something productive with my life by "serving my country"
couple problems im not patriotic in the slightest im trans horribly unathletic and mentally unstable. but hey maybe i can bullshit my way through a few weeks of basic training before they give me a gun and i can do it myself
honestly even that would be better than. being a civilian and knowing im going to accomplish absolutely nothing with my life. my shitty high school has a big circle jerk of a veterans day assembly every year so at least they'll give a fuck abt me if i get off my ass and enlist. that reminds me a few years a bunch of people ctb in like the span of a month and they all went to my school. i think their parents wanted like a memorial built for them but the school said no. kinda fucked idk theyre the furthest thing from mental health advocates
one of them was my sisters friend. if i ctb i genuinely dont know what would happen to her. we grew up with the same shitty mother so she's already kinda fucked. i dont wanna be another problem for her she doesnt deserve that
maybe i can beg her to get me some weed and that can be my new unhealthy coping mechanism
the more i write this the more i realize im a piece of shit
anyway I've been thinking about if I could enlist and step on a fuckinf land mine or some shit in some third world country so they can tell my parents I did something productive with my life by "serving my country"
couple problems im not patriotic in the slightest im trans horribly unathletic and mentally unstable. but hey maybe i can bullshit my way through a few weeks of basic training before they give me a gun and i can do it myself
honestly even that would be better than. being a civilian and knowing im going to accomplish absolutely nothing with my life. my shitty high school has a big circle jerk of a veterans day assembly every year so at least they'll give a fuck abt me if i get off my ass and enlist. that reminds me a few years a bunch of people ctb in like the span of a month and they all went to my school. i think their parents wanted like a memorial built for them but the school said no. kinda fucked idk theyre the furthest thing from mental health advocates
one of them was my sisters friend. if i ctb i genuinely dont know what would happen to her. we grew up with the same shitty mother so she's already kinda fucked. i dont wanna be another problem for her she doesnt deserve that
maybe i can beg her to get me some weed and that can be my new unhealthy coping mechanism
the more i write this the more i realize im a piece of shit