Venting Contemplating telling my ex about suicide plan

[eaturdirt]

I honestly see him as the root of a lot of problems I have since he was narcissistic, manipulative and toxic towards me. I want him to know what he did to me and how much he hurt me. I want him to suffer too. Is that weird? It feels pretty bad to actually admit that but it's also very much needed. I still long for him. Maybe it sounds very manipulative and that also scares me because I genuinely don't want to be like that. It's genuinely a life or death matter for me now, so that's why I kind of want to do it, it'll bring me a bit of rest I think?

 

[justcallmeJ]

I think it could help getting it of your chest. If the situation is safe and you are sure he wont fight back or something it could help, just be sure you keep a cool head aswell so things wont escalate. I have the same what you have but with my mom. It felt good doing it but it didnt make me less suicidal.

 

[LunarLight]

Be careful, if you tell him he might call the police or stuff. Not worth it imo.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

mail them a letter when you really decide to go through with it instead. safer. they'll certainly interfere if they are the personality type you describe.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

This is a bad idea. For one, you say he is a narcissist, so who's to say he will even care or be hurt by this. Additionally, he could contact family or police or something, inform them of your plan, and then that won't be good for you. I know you want to try and hurt him deeply, but let me try to offer some advice.

Drop the idea entirely, completely go no-contact and keep it that way. I long for an ex too, but I know that it is a bad idea, so I keep her blocked. I say you should do the same thing. Mine wasn't even as toxic as yours. I think, all around, this isn't a good idea and you should not tell him and just never talk to him, try to move on from him.

Ultimately, this is completely up to you though, I figured I would share my two cents, though.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

If he did this much to you, he's not worth your time. Don't give him a second thought. Doesnt sound like you should give up. Just sounds like you gave up on yourself. Dont live for other people. Find some peace within yourself, gather yourself, be content with just you, and then you can be open to finding a guy who's actually worth your time.

 

[mainlanders_son]

NOPE, don't tell anyone anything, you'll just end up in a useless psych ward.

 

[restlessdream3r]

Yeah that's a terrible idea. You'll end up in a psych ward. Leave him a note.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I honestly see him as the root of a lot of problems I have since he was narcissistic, manipulative and toxic towards me. I want him to know what he did to me and how much he hurt me. I want him to suffer too. Is that weird? It feels pretty bad to actually admit that but it's also very much needed. I still long for him. Maybe it sounds very manipulative and that also scares me because I genuinely don't want to be like that. It's genuinely a life or death matter for me now, so that's why I kind of want to do it, it'll bring me a bit of rest I think?

I don't fully know the story to make a judgment on his character but i argee with the sentiment of others

If he is as toxic as you say he was and never loved you i know its hard and not easy to do but i'd just try (and trust me i don't move on from anyone so ik) to move on and live to spite him

Otherwise if you have plenty of pain in other areas regardless of him and feel there isn't another way out then my recommendation if you can if you do choose to message him is sending a message thats set to send by a certain time after your passing if it's possible on any platform you have

Otherwise though if you wanna discuss your situation with him or your life further i'm more than happy to listen and offer better advice or support wherever i can

Regardless of what you choose to do i hope you peace and prosperity

 

[yearsoflonliness]

I lived with a narcissist for a large portion of my life. You can tell him or not, but he won't care. He won't suffer. At all. Zero remorse. In fact, he'd just take it as a victory. So don't give it to him.

 

[DyingToDie123]

Tread carefully, this got me a restraining order

 

[LunarCharm]

I wouldnt tell anyone you actively have a plan. If anything, you could leave a letter or a note, maybe a delayed email/text, to let him know after the fact.
but telling anyone at all that you have a plan can land you in the psych ward; besides, if he is truly all these things, who's to say it'll affect him?

 

[UKscotty]

Very bad idea. Why tell anyone unless it's a cry for help? If you want help speak to a professional.

 

[eaturdirt]

If he did this much to you, he's not worth your time. Don't give him a second thought. Doesnt sound like you should give up. Just sounds like you gave up on yourself. Dont live for other people. Find some peace within yourself, gather yourself, be content with just you, and then you can be open to finding a guy who's actually worth your time.

Gonna be honest, when I read this I felt so ashamed. I feel horrible that one person drove me to this point and that I let it happen. I just wish I was more confident in myself. I have this dooming feeling that I'll never find another guy again that likes me. I long for him because he manipulated me into always relying on him and it's so hard to live without being able to do that. I know I'm still young and that there are a lot of years ahead of me, but I don't want to live them with constantly him on my mind and the thoughts of how much he hurt me. It's like I can't live if he's not in my life and that's a really scary feeling. I can't seem to get the control back. I'm scared that the feeling of longing for him is never going to leave.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

Gonna be honest, when I read this I felt so ashamed. I feel horrible that one person drove me to this point and that I let it happen. I just wish I was more confident in myself. I have this dooming feeling that I'll never find another guy again that likes me. I long for him because he manipulated me into always relying on him and it's so hard to live without being able to do that. I know I'm still young and that there are a lot of years ahead of me, but I don't want to live them with constantly him on my mind and the thoughts of how much he hurt me. It's like I can't live if he's not in my life and that's a really scary feeling. I can't seem to get the control back. I'm scared that the feeling of longing for him is never going to leave.

Dont feel like that. It's a very common thing. Hell Im still hung up on this guy who is a grade A prick and we weren't in love. We had nothing. Im disgusted with myself that I still think about him nearly everyday. Do you have ocd? We passionate persons just do not take well to being disrespected I find. We're owed answers and an apology but we have to find a way to live with the fact that we're not going to get it; and that has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with how gross of a person the guy is. He probably isn't thinking of you, and my narcissist is probably not thinking of me. We will probably never speak again. It's been like 16mo since I stopped texting him. The more thoughts you give to him the more power he has. If you repeat the truth of the situation, it will start to sink in. I was completely deluded and disillusioned by that guy. I wanted a version he wasn't capable of giving, and I wasn't ready to let that go. I never thought I'd be that girl. I dont have experience with guys but I know I will never be brought down to this level again. No guy is worth that. There's a guy who will give a shit if you're upset and will fight for you to make it right and to not lose you. He will make this guy seem like a memory and you'll cringe that you ever felt this way, or you'll never think of him again. We both made a mistake, but we don't have to keep making it. Just figure out why you made the mistake and how you got here, and you'll figure out how to come out. You don't need anyone but yourself. You can see if a therapist will help. For me, I rarely bring him up to them because I don't want to acknowledge or admit this is a problem for me. Not in a denial way, but in a way that says that he's not going to be important enough that I have to have someone help me to not think about him. Like I didn't need their help. It's supposed to reduce his role in my life is how I see it. But maybe I should bring him up. I now can't think of him in the same light because I stick the facts and not my feelings. Facts never lie. They never change. Only people can. He chose not to, and had every opportunity.... So now if he did text me, I would not be excited. I would be bothered. Toxic things are not good for you. I don't know if I'm helping, I hope I'm not making it worse. I just know you need to be okay by yourself as much as possible, because you don't want to put your dependence and value on someone else. You know who you are and what kind of person you are. You know your strengths and what you have to offer. If he can't appreciate that then that's his loss. He doesn't matter. You do. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to be quick. But this is something that's fixable. I'm 32. I started talking to this guy when I was 24? And we only officially dated for like 4mo? It's ridiculous and I should've cut him off before I ever met him. The signs were there. Personally, there are a lot of reasons to feel suicidal, and they're very valid, but a guy is not one of them. Even if you lived the rest of your life without ever having a relationship, that's worth it; as long as it had nothing to do with that guy.
"... He is not the Sun, you are."
-Christina, Grey's Anatomy