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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
My sin is the reason I'm here and also the reason being here is so awful. I wanted plastic surgery as a teenager and yet did absolutely nothing. For six years. No forums, no emails, no phone calls, zero research of any kind. First time I joined a forum was about time travel. Ten years later it's suicide. What an utterly stupid reason for being here. Every teenager is just a reminder what I didn't do. It's like seeing a ghost. If I stay here much longer I will kill myself and with good reason. I deserve it but my girlfriend doesn't. I've got to try and forget the past not forever be reminded of it. Things have moved on, the internets everywhere now, I didn't have it where I was living but it's still no excuse. I remember thinking of getting a computer it just never happened. The difference it could have made I can see here. Great for them, shit for me and it doesn't matter if I saved every single one of them I'm still going to hell. Everything I do now is very much after the fact.
 
XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. It's been years since my last confession. I lied, cheated, hated, broke trust, spilled secrets, wished death upon people, envied and worst of all... I have not change my evil ways despite knowing better.

If God exists, I've won myself a one way ticket to hell, that's for sure.
 
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InterstateFlowers

InterstateFlowers

Experienced
Apr 16, 2020
236
Masturbation? I'm not religious but I'm still sheepish and shy talking about sex openly so it feels dirty to confess it. Coughing without covering my mouth in an elevator full of people? That one keeps me up at night sometimes, I feel so guilty. There's probably a lot of terrible things I've done to hurt people but I can't remember ever feeling true malice and hate towards anything. Just depression. oh well
 
GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
You know what guys? I'm about to break a streak of innocent people on here and confess some actual sins. Most if this is stuff I never told anyone about, and I guess I need to put it somewhere:

1) I am wasted right now, even though I'll have to start work soon, and I don't care.

2) I used to be a compulsive liar for years. Which means that I didn't only lie to get myself out of hot water like many normal people do, the whole "I got stuck in traffic" and "dog ate my homework" thing, I would also lie a lot when it was absolutely unnecessary and didn't even provide any benefits. I made up an imaginary group of friends that was the only topic I would discuss with anyone in my teens. I pretended to have an obsessive crush on a classmate to distract the rest of my classmates from a rumor about me being into girls that was actually true (sorry for publicly embarrassing you, Alex, you were completely innocent, I chose you just because you had a girlfriend!). I had multiple fake online identities on different sites because man I enjoyed pretending to be someone else and living a pretend life. My own mother barely knows anything about me, because almost all of the information about my life I was feeding her ever since I was about 13 was an endless stream of lies and she never bothered to question any of that.

3) I used to sit with a friend and fantasize about shooting up our classmates together. It did cost me dearly in the long run when the said friend went from worshipping the Columbine kids to worshipping Elliot Rodger instead of growing out of it like I did, but still. I had so much anger in me.

4) On the topic of anger - since high school I watch really messed up BDSM porn, and not for the reasons normal people watch porn, but because it provides a release for an exceptional amount of anger I have bottled up. I am perfectly civil and occasionally even friendly with people I imagine being...ahem...let me say "badly hurt" in my spare time. I don't think I could ever hurt anyone for real, and I really wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them in real life, but I clearly separate the realm of imagination from reality, and let me just say my imagination is seriously messed up.

5) I was raised by my grandmother for most of my childhood, and yet when she died the only thing I felt was relief.

6) I had casual sex for no good reason, not because I was into that person, not because of feelings, no anything, just because they wanted it and well, why the hell not, it seems to help the other person and it's not like I am losing anything if I had no self-respect to begin with.

7) The big one, the one I tried to hang myself over. I slept with a married man in a room that belonged to his 1-year-old daughter while his wife and daughter were away for a trip. The only reason why I did it was because I didn't want him to stop hanging out with me because I turned him down. I didn't even have feelings for him, or felt attraction, I was just desperate to keep him as a friend. And guess what, it didn't work.
 
S

Salt

Member
Sep 30, 2020
16
no ending of sins, uncountable sins i have made so far in my life both religiously and as humankind. whom should i confess to , the god that i don't pray for,to the people i dont know. running away from home, killing my self dignity was the biggest sin of my life.i don't know if i will ever be able to forgive myself for this or even any god will be able to do so.
 
FlyMe2TheMoon

FlyMe2TheMoon

I'm just so tired.
Sep 30, 2020
48
This thread seems to have a trend of childhood confessions. I'll keep that going.

I played a lot of online kids games when I was ages maybe 12-14? I never played the games because I could have fun and meet other kids, but because I could trick other players into giving me items, essentially stealing from them. It was against the rules, obviously, and I got my accounts suspended multiple times for doing it. I didn't see any value in the stuff I took from other kids, I just thought it was fun to steal things from other people.

Also I pretended to be an adult on Twitter and Tumblr so I could see titties, but I think most kids in this generation do that.
 
Deleted member 94

Deleted member 94

Wizard
Mar 24, 2018
696
I look at this thread and wonder whether it would be appropriate to confess my actual sins, while everyone else is like "I sometimes have bad thoughts and I was mean to this kid once when I was 5".
Let me just say I actually did a number of seriously effed up things unlike all of you little angels :hihi:
But in order to keep in with the harmless spirit of the thread, here's my one non-awful sin: I've never paid for a videogame, a movie or TV series, and I haven't paid for any of my music since like 2007, I pirate all of the content I use.
Same here still do it. also in kindergarten when the teacher would ask if someone lost there pencil I would always put up my hand and take the pencil until one day two hands went up and only one of them was mine.
I want to do this but ever since I'd heard that one can get into trouble with the law for piracy, like get literally sued, I stopped. Is it really that much of a reasonable threat nowadays or am I just being paranoid and imagining things?
Just use mullvad VPN before you do it like I do haven't been caught yet.
 
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Circles

Circles

There's a difference between existing and living.
Sep 3, 2018
2,269
I burned my moms personal bible she grew up with when I was younger. I don't remember why I did it.

I didn't reply back or basically ignored some members who ctb on here who wanted to talk and say goodbye. I just can't mentally deal with loss anymore let alone goodbyes. It haunts me thinking they just wanted someone to talk to in their final moments, but I just couldn't do it. I've been through it before and it mentally fucks with me grieving over someone I've talked to but didn't really even know them.

I was too suicidal and self centered to notice that my dog was sick before she died.
 
Mixo

Mixo

Blue
Aug 2, 2020
773
If we're talking the classic biblical definition of "sin" then I guess I've done quite a lot. I've lied to people in order to protect my own privacy or to protect other people's interests. When I used to work with youth, I sometimes would lie and tell them their lives would get better even if I had no actual information to support that claim. I once broke into my roommate's diary on her laptop when I was borrowing it, just out of curiosity (it was a word document that had no password on it) - probably one of the more creepier things I've done. I've stolen once from a large corporate chain store, even under the fluorescent, glaring lights and surveillance cameras - and didn't get caught. I've also forged documents in order to gain access to things I needed and knew I'd be rejected from. Please forgive me father, I have definitely sinned!
 
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grungeCat

grungeCat

Awkward & weird
Jul 5, 2020
1,110
C'mon, you were five. When I was five I would talk to imaginary friends in public and sometimes yell at god for doing bad things to people. You are not the same person you were when you were five.
I'm sorry but researches show that children abusing animals are more likely to become narcisstic murderers in the future. It's an early sign of sociopathy/psychopathy disorder. Here's the proof : https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...104/children-who-are-cruel-animals-when-worry
 
Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,628
VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
when i was around four or five, my cousin kept bothering me while i was trying to play with my other cousin, so i took a butter knife from the kitchen and told him i was going to kill him.

my mom rightfully yelled at me for it, saying "you don't hear me or your dad saying that sort of stuff!" and my first thought was, "yes i do", even though i don't remember them threatening anyone with murder.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 4993
GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,075
When I was five years old I tortured a hamster. I won't describe the details cuz I don't feel like this. I regret this very much.That's a proof I'm a bad person deep in my heart.

You seem like a good person to me.

If you were a bad person you would not regret it. You were 5 years old, don't be so hard on yourself.

My sin:
Once at school, one of the boys wouldn't stop bothering me, I just exploded and said screaming "you're a son of a bitch". he got crazy, the teachers had to separate us, nothing happened but he got violent (I just told him that) he kept saying "and why does he have to say that?" etc..

I am not proud, her mother is not to blame, but I do not regret it either, she made my life impossible for years.
 
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Viro_Major

Viro_Major

Rad maker
Jul 30, 2020
1,304
Diary of a juvenile heartbreaker

In elementary school, it started that I hurt 2 girls with injury by error, just by trying to either play or dance with them. It just happens that apparently I had issues with motor function and spacial dimension, and the physic of objects...
Oh now I remember it occurred again much later in high school. I broke the nose of the first girl I was finally attracted to, by sending her a basket ball in the face.

At 6yo, I had a little blonde girl as a friend, we used to spare activities together, like collecting plants in the nature to then simulate making perfumes with extracts. Some day, she exposed she liked me and whether or not I wanted to marry her into the futur. Cold hearted, I replied that I had zero interest in girls. That there was no point for such things since computers existed. She ended up with crocodile tears in her mother's petticoats.

A bit later, a similar situation caught me by surprise, so I escaped by pretending to prefer her best friend as an excuse (which in fact was true). But it was pretty fucked up cause minutes before I had offered her flowers (oops...)

In middle school, there was this girl who was into me again and using tactics of approach (edit : there was also another one who was forcing to request private lessons. I credit her audacity, that showed creativity and motivation. Too bad, I was again into her best friend. I didn't let her a chance). This time it was finally serious but I was still not ready to figure out the mathematics of love. She took me 1v1 at some point but that's not the choice I retained reciprocally. I still had no manual and the pressure was building up. When her group of female friends crossed mine, I simply announced out loud "I don't like you" in front of everyone, as only verdict. I had nothing special against her. I'm ashamed about this one.

That's it for the x-files of love affairs. I'm regretting the stories since I'm not somebody inconsiderate. Had I been on the other side of the fence, given my sensitivity, I would have been traumatised. Sollicitations were turning me awkward. ...I got punished later lol
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,182
When I was little I used to pick up snails and throw them really hard at fences or trees to crush them. Sometimes I also stepped on them, slowly.

I didn't even know snails are pests back then. I just did it because I hated snails for reminding me of how slow I am.
 
Deleted member 19654

Deleted member 19654

Working towards recovery.
Jul 9, 2020
1,628
When I was little I used to pick up snails and throw them really hard at fences or trees to crush them. Sometimes I also stepped on them, slowly.

I didn't even know snails are pests back then. I just did it because I hated snails for reminding me of how slow I am.
My parents protect their vegetable patch by going into the garden late at night and pouring salt on them. They would not consider that to be a sin lol. You'd be a saint in their eyes.
 
catalepsy

catalepsy

Student
Sep 4, 2020
117
Hi, my name is lepsy, and I once disturbed a sleeping kitten. It was for a good reason. I had a cozier bed to plop him into.

I also went on a manic rampage and bought a bunch of garbage I don't need, and now I'm broke until Uncle Sam decides to grace my bank account with a stimulus check they were supposed to pay me way back at the beginning of the year. Fingers crossed. I also got mixed up in a bunch of drama, in response to someone else's drama, and used it as psych-fuel to rebuild a power steering system on a stupidly obstinate rusty truck. I feel like shit now, but at least the truck turns on a dime. I also accidentally let the negative vibes bleed into my interactions with my roommate who is currently detoxing and in the process of quitting drinking. I'm an asshole, but not deliberately. Only one of those bridges do I care to not burn and I'm worried my self-destruction might creep in there, and yet the more careful I am about it, the more it annoys her since I implicitly stop acting like myself when I make the effort. This is some convoluted self-sabotage. And then, in response to recognizing how convoluted it is, I drank half a bottle of honey mead to take the edge off. Brilliant. What could possibly go wrong with this plan.

That's just today and the extended week. I don't remember what I did last week, but I'm sure it's equally craptastic and stupid.
 
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