Venting Choosing Death over being sued for debt

[ihavetoleave]

I haven't been employed in many months. I've mentioned in previous posts/comments, I have dealt with addiction a long time, over two decades. Addiction and my own crazy behavior has caused debt to pile up on my credit cards and I am in a severe amount of debt I can't pay off, I can't even make minimum payments as I have lost everything.

I am unemployable at this point, I have built a career on being on substances and in an area I now see I despise and am bad at what I used to do. Not only am I unqualified, I can't even put forth the energy into pretending that I want or deserve these jobs I've done so badly at. The hiring game has changed and now it is much harder to be hired at all in the same jobs so I am ruined regardless, I will not be hired for what I used to do and I have no degree or other skills to fall back on to work anywhere else.

I haven't paid a cc bill in several months after asking for time off payments due to being unemployed. I can't even afford a phone at this point to talk to them about the situation, so with no payments being made and no way to communicate with me, it is only a matter of time before I am sued.

The thought of being sued over my stupid choices terrifies me. I don't want to CTB over something like debt but there is no way forward. I can't cope with a job at all or be hired for one, I have no way to pay off the debt, I can't deal with being sued over this. I could file for bankruptcy but it is a complex process and also expensive. Either direction I turn I can't manage this. My only choice will be to CTB. I have the tools to do this but I am so scared and sad I will have to do this, even though my life is already a mess and I have no options to improve things.

I've crashed my life into the ground. I am terrified of each new day, I have options I can't choose, no solution and I have to die as the only option really. I miss being younger when my problems were about a breakup or failing a class, this is a terrifying place and mess I've gotten myself into after years of messing up and taking drugs/drinking and making crazy decisions. I regret my life and choices so much. I don't believe there is anything after this if I succeed in dying. What a mess I've created, I already cannot forgive myself for so much. If you have a job, if you have financial security and have not boxed yourself into a corner like I have, know it could be so much worse. I hope no one has to deal with a mess like I have created in my own life.

 

[pen]

No one can be jailed over debt.

You could leave using a offline prepaid card(at least for the time being).

Quote "I've crashed my life into the ground" everyone does too.

 

[ihavetoleave]

No one can be jailed over debt.

You could leave using a offline prepaid card(at least for the time being).

Quote "I've crashed my life into the ground" every one does too.

Thanks, I may not be jailed purely for the debt as we don't have "debtors jail" in this country anymore, but if I don't respond to a court summons I could be held in contempt and sent to jail for some time. Overall I can't manage my life or a job, I certainly can't handle going to court. I'm a disaster. I did this to myself and I can't forgive myself for it and so many other things.

 

[Intotheflames]

Do you have a property for mortgages? It's a short term solution but maybe it'd give you space to breathe. My dad was a gambler who gambled away all we had. I remember he also got notices from the banks, the court etc. Eventually with the agreement of my mom, they got mortgages.

 

[ihavetoleave]

Do you have a property for mortgages? It's a short term solution but maybe it'd give you space to breathe. My dad was a gambler who gambled away all we had. I remember he also got notices from the banks, the court etc. Eventually with the agreement of my mom, they got mortgages.

No, I own no property. I have no way to mortgage because I don't own any property. I have nothing to give that will make this go away. It is hopeless. This is why I used what little money I have left to buy SN, it is the only option and I being the ridiculous person I am now don't want to use it as it seems like a scary way to go and I don't know what happens with death. Live or die, things seem really hopeless. I've always been a mess in this reality and I'm really tired of my mistakes and knowing my poor family keeps having to deal with my mistakes too.

 

[Intotheflames]

Man I am so sorry. You sound like you don't actually wanna ctb, and that's perfectly fine and understandable. My dad kept on living even though he literally had nothing (my mom left him).

What happens in your country to debters who can't afford bankruptcy? Is there social welfare that you can fall back on?

 

[140 bpm]

They can't put you in jail for dept. I owe more than 10k to different banks. And they already transferred my depts to collection. I just live with that.
I totally understand you.
I miss being younger when I had no problems, before I've got used to drugs and made tons of stupid and crazy decisions. I really messed up my life.
So you're not alone.
But dept...it's def not a reason to be worry and especially ctb. in my opinion

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Make sure any remaining liquidity you have left on the cards , you max out before they start charging off the accounts. If you truly want to CTB run up as much debt as possible to spite them. I encourage people on every post to force their banks to eat a loss - good spite for the crime of 2008

 

[gtrfvr]

some places have do it yourself bankruptcy. sometimes a local library might have info or be able to help point you to a guide. lawyers donate time, may be able to find a bankruptcy clinic.
it sucks but they have it for a reason. some people have even declared bankruptcy more than once.

 

[awfullife]

I owe 250k to the IRS, 50k to credit card companies / loan companies / and 350 dollars a week goes to child support.

I was an executive with family and fancy house and now live in a semi truck. I would become a trucker if I were you. You can make 60-70k per year after 3 weeks of school and 5 weeks of company training.

Good luck. You are less fucked than you think. I'm facing asset seizure any day.

 

[lost_soul83]

I haven't been employed in many months. I've mentioned in previous posts/comments, I have dealt with addiction a long time, over two decades. Addiction and my own crazy behavior has caused debt to pile up on my credit cards and I am in a severe amount of debt I can't pay off, I can't even make minimum payments as I have lost everything.

I am unemployable at this point, I have built a career on being on substances and in an area I now see I despise and am bad at what I used to do. Not only am I unqualified, I can't even put forth the energy into pretending that I want or deserve these jobs I've done so badly at. The hiring game has changed and now it is much harder to be hired at all in the same jobs so I am ruined regardless, I will not be hired for what I used to do and I have no degree or other skills to fall back on to work anywhere else.

I haven't paid a cc bill in several months after asking for time off payments due to being unemployed. I can't even afford a phone at this point to talk to them about the situation, so with no payments being made and no way to communicate with me, it is only a matter of time before I am sued.

The thought of being sued over my stupid choices terrifies me. I don't want to CTB over something like debt but there is no way forward. I can't cope with a job at all or be hired for one, I have no way to pay off the debt, I can't deal with being sued over this. I could file for bankruptcy but it is a complex process and also expensive. Either direction I turn I can't manage this. My only choice will be to CTB. I have the tools to do this but I am so scared and sad I will have to do this, even though my life is already a mess and I have no options to improve things.

I've crashed my life into the ground. I am terrified of each new day, I have options I can't choose, no solution and I have to die as the only option really. I miss being younger when my problems were about a breakup or failing a class, this is a terrifying place and mess I've gotten myself into after years of messing up and taking drugs/drinking and making crazy decisions. I regret my life and choices so much. I don't believe there is anything after this if I succeed in dying. What a mess I've created, I already cannot forgive myself for so much. If you have a job, if you have financial security and have not boxed yourself into a corner like I have, know it could be so much worse. I hope no one has to deal with a mess like I have created in my own life.

I feel your pain as I am in the same boat. Addiction has gotten me into $20,000+ of debt that I can't pay. I haven't made a payment on any of the loans I took out for years, but I haven't been sued. The worst I have had to deal with is annoying phone calls from my creditors trying to get their money back. Over the years I have even had some of them forgive my debt with me not having to do anything. I know the situation seems bleak right now but it'll be alright. Plus, even if you're sued, how can they get their money back if you're broke? You can't squeeze water from a stone. I really hope you don't choose to ctb over this, but if you do, I hope it is a peaceful transition for you. Good luck in whatever you choose.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

I haven't been employed in many months. I've mentioned in previous posts/comments, I have dealt with addiction a long time, over two decades. Addiction and my own crazy behavior has caused debt to pile up on my credit cards and I am in a severe amount of debt I can't pay off, I can't even make minimum payments as I have lost everything.

I am unemployable at this point, I have built a career on being on substances and in an area I now see I despise and am bad at what I used to do. Not only am I unqualified, I can't even put forth the energy into pretending that I want or deserve these jobs I've done so badly at. The hiring game has changed and now it is much harder to be hired at all in the same jobs so I am ruined regardless, I will not be hired for what I used to do and I have no degree or other skills to fall back on to work anywhere else.

I haven't paid a cc bill in several months after asking for time off payments due to being unemployed. I can't even afford a phone at this point to talk to them about the situation, so with no payments being made and no way to communicate with me, it is only a matter of time before I am sued.

The thought of being sued over my stupid choices terrifies me. I don't want to CTB over something like debt but there is no way forward. I can't cope with a job at all or be hired for one, I have no way to pay off the debt, I can't deal with being sued over this. I could file for bankruptcy but it is a complex process and also expensive. Either direction I turn I can't manage this. My only choice will be to CTB. I have the tools to do this but I am so scared and sad I will have to do this, even though my life is already a mess and I have no options to improve things.

I've crashed my life into the ground. I am terrified of each new day, I have options I can't choose, no solution and I have to die as the only option really. I miss being younger when my problems were about a breakup or failing a class, this is a terrifying place and mess I've gotten myself into after years of messing up and taking drugs/drinking and making crazy decisions. I regret my life and choices so much. I don't believe there is anything after this if I succeed in dying. What a mess I've created, I already cannot forgive myself for so much. If you have a job, if you have financial security and have not boxed yourself into a corner like I have, know it could be so much worse. I hope no one has to deal with a mess like I have created in my own life.

very sorry that you are going through this. i have been in financial ruin before. not sure what country you are in but can you file for chapter 7 or 13?

 

[Miss_Takes]

Make sure any remaining liquidity you have left on the cards , you max out before they start charging off the accounts. If you truly want to CTB run up as much debt as possible to spite them. I encourage people on every post to force their banks to eat a loss - good spite for the crime of 2008

Who do you think actually pays for that 'spite'?

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

I was in a similar situation, although it was only £12k total debt across different lenders and banks. I got huge help when applying for an IVA as they took my mental health in to consideration and consolidated it down to £5K made in monthly payments of something like £100.

I know it might not help you but I was convinced suicide was my only way out, not knowing there was this actual help on offer. I don't think they can jail you unless you don't appear for summons or something.

 

[Idledays]

Hey

Have you sought any professional debt advice? What country are you based?

I work in the debt sector in the UK and i can almost guarantee there's a way for the debts to be sorted that doesn't involve you committing suicide.

In the UK everyone can access free professional advice. I would assume wherever you're based there will be a debt sector that can can help (either private or charitable).

I'd really urge you to have a look for debt advice. I really hope things get sorted for you.

You're not alone - dealing with severe debt is horrid, but more common that you realise!

Good luck!

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Who do you think actually pays for that 'spite'?

It comes off the bank balance sheet. If it results in a bank being or the government being harmed , I laugh hysterically. Less money for financial sector parasites is always a good thing !

In 2008 many bankers in the US CTB'd due to financial ruin or to escape prosecution for their subprime misdeeds. I laughed at all of their families when this happened - good riddance for your scumbag relative dying

 

[JustLosingMyself]

It comes off the bank balance sheet. If it results in a bank being or the government being harmed , I laugh hysterically. Less money for financial sector parasites is always a good thing !

In 2008 many bankers in the US CTB'd due to financial ruin or to escape prosecution for their subprime misdeeds. I laughed at all of their families when this happened - good riddance for your scumbag relative dying

What a lovely post... all bitterness and spite.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

What a lovely post... all bitterness and spite.

In the 2000s trillions were skimmed off the back of american workers and taxpayers by a criminal banking sector that set Americans up to get mortgages they knew would blow up. Various government and internal company documents verify this information. The fraud was systemic right down to the underwriting departments and bank branch managers

no tears for dead grifters and their families

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh boy, I really feel you! Got a lot of debts but my family helped out with at least.

I'm so sorry you can't pay your debts. I hope somehow you find the way.

Whatever you decision you make, you deserve to be at peace.

Send you lots of hugs and strength!

 

[ihavetoleave]

Make sure any remaining liquidity you have left on the cards , you max out before they start charging off the accounts. If you truly want to CTB run up as much debt as possible to spite them. I encourage people on every post to force their banks to eat a loss - good spite for the crime of 2008

It isn't the fault of the card companies, it is my fault. I've run up as much debt as possible anyways. The cards are maxed out and I've got more debt than most have. I feel so stupid for doing this to myself, that and not seeing a way out to fix it.

some places have do it yourself bankruptcy. sometimes a local library might have info or be able to help point you to a guide. lawyers donate time, may be able to find a bankruptcy clinic.
it sucks but they have it for a reason. some people have even declared bankruptcy more than once.

Yes I've done research into this, bankruptcy here in the US (where I live) is complicated and easy to mess up. I screw up most things and I am an anxious mess so there is no way I will be able to successfully do this by myself. Even with a lawyer I could screw this up. I'm not good at doing things and that is why I am in this mess. No lawyers would donate their time to work with me pro bono, I am not a case they would take, the circumstances are all my own fault and there will be too many people who need help with the way things have gone the past year as well.

I owe 250k to the IRS, 50k to credit card companies / loan companies / and 350 dollars a week goes to child support.

I was an executive with family and fancy house and now live in a semi truck. I would become a trucker if I were you. You can make 60-70k per year after 3 weeks of school and 5 weeks of company training.

Good luck. You are less fucked than you think. I'm facing asset seizure any day.

Thanks for sharing, you are the closest to my situation. I feel for your situation and respect you keep going, you have kids to support and you keep working for them. I would rather die than work yet another job I will do badly at. I've done badly at every job I've had, I have a shitty work ethic and I can imagine getting into accidents etc driving a truck, when I drove more I was reckless and I would get into accidents pretty regularly.

Who do you think actually pays for that 'spite'?

Yes it is my fault and I feel terrible for putting myself in this situation and it will harm others who actually have to pay down this debt. This is why I can't forgive myself for doing this and for making these mistakes.

Hey

Have you sought any professional debt advice? What country are you based?

I work in the debt sector in the UK and i can almost guarantee there's a way for the debts to be sorted that doesn't involve you committing suicide.

In the UK everyone can access free professional advice. I would assume wherever you're based there will be a debt sector that can can help (either private or charitable).

I'd really urge you to have a look for debt advice. I really hope things get sorted for you.

You're not alone - dealing with severe debt is horrid, but more common that you realise!

Good luck!

I'm in the US, the UK deals with debt, healthcare and so many things in a better way. This country is already in a bad state with Covid and our capitol being stormed by protestors. Part of why things look so grim to me.

 

[Miss_Takes]

It isn't the fault of the card companies, it is my fault. I've run up as much debt as possible anyways. The cards are maxed out and I've got more debt than most have. I feel so stupid for doing this to myself, that and not seeing a way out to fix it.


Yes I've done research into this, bankruptcy here in the US (where I live) is complicated and easy to mess up. I screw up most things and I am an anxious mess so there is no way I will be able to successfully do this by myself. Even with a lawyer I could screw this up. I'm not good at doing things and that is why I am in this mess. No lawyers would donate their time to work with me pro bono, I am not a case they would take, the circumstances are all my own fault and there will be too many people who need help with the way things have gone the past year as well.


Thanks for sharing, you are the closest to my situation. I feel for your situation and respect you keep going, you have kids to support and you keep working for them. I would rather die than work yet another job I will do badly at. I've done badly at every job I've had, I have a shitty work ethic and I can imagine getting into accidents etc driving a truck, when I drove more I was reckless and I would get into accidents pretty regularly.


Yes it is my fault and I feel terrible for putting myself in this situation and it will harm others who actually have to pay down this debt. This is why I can't forgive myself for doing this and for making these mistakes.



I'm in the US, the UK deals with debt, healthcare and so many things in a better way. This country is already in a bad state with Covid and our capitol being stormed by protestors. Part of why things look so grim to me.

That post was directed at Suicidally Curious and not yourself. I think sometimes people think they are screwing 'the man' when really they are screwing is everyone who is as close to desperation as they are..
I am extremely sorry for any misinterpretation and also for your current circumstance. As people have said there may be options that mean you do not have to take such a drastic step as suicide. I can only imagine how desperate you must feel.
I very.much hope you find a solution that means you can have some relief from your pain.

 

[ihavetoleave]

No apology needed, I understand what you meant and how the system works. Thank you for your feedback.

That post was directed at Suicidally Curious and not yourself. I think sometimes people think they are screwing 'the man' when really they are screwing is everyone who is as close to desperation as they are..
I am extremely sorry for any misinterpretation and also for your current circumstance. As people have said there may be options that mean you do not have to take such a drastic step as suicide. I can only imagine how desperate you must feel.
I very.much hope you find a solution that means you can have some relief from your pain.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Hey just wanted to say that I also feel boxed into a corner because of my drinking and mainly just working as a bartender. I'm not much in debt but I'm unemployed with zero hope/desire for much of anything.