Cheers to those who will CTB soon! How do you feel?

[Kumachan]

Even the thought of suicide isn't helping like it used to.. Used to make me feel peaceful.

If you had the most peaceful method at your finger tips readily available at anytime, would it make you feel better?

 

[peabs]

Can't wait. I wake up every morning so sad. I find a hundred new reasons every day to go. If I can't get the SN I ordered, it'll be CO. I'm so happy I'm going home.

 

[Kumachan]

Can't wait. I wake up every morning so sad. I find a hundred new reasons every day to go. If I can't get the SN I ordered, it'll be CO. I'm so happy I'm going home.

Wow 100 reasons! Im lucky if i can find just one! And nowadays its the lockdown mostly - stuck in my sisters house with my two little nephews, dont wanna traumatize little fuckers...:)

 

[Rue89]

A little anxious but also at peace. And beyond frustrated that the safer at home order is making it very difficult to do right now.

 

[Donk]

I was relieved, everything was in order, and I was ready to go. Then my method failed so now I'm anxious, I thought my method was "fool-proof", which makes me wonder about how the next attempt could go wrong. It too seems pretty certain, but Life er finds a way I guess...

what was your method?

 

[Empirespy]

GBL and alcohol. The GBL dose was 70ml, I had no tolerance, so 30-50mls of just GBL should have sufficed, but there is a fair amount of variance, so I decided to play it safe. Doesn't mater how much you take if it doesn't stay in you, but at least the method has minimal (short term at least) repercussions for failed attempts.

 

[BrokenAngel8]

I've been delaying it since last year and now my timeline is getting closer, planned to go before my birthday in less than 2 weeks. I feel sorry for myself. Wish I were mentally and physically equipped to thrive in life.

 

[Erase.myself]

I have mixed emotions going on. Things aren't all in order yet (My SN should arrive by the 5th, but still don't have Meto. Have a Dr appointment on the 4th where I'm gonna try to get it). I reached out to my mom, as I wanted to give her one last hug before I die....but she's having car problems :"(

Planning on CTB next week if I can get Meto, hotel arranged. Yet, each time I try to sit and write my mom a good bye letter....the words don't come. How do I even begin?

Im feeling anxious about possible failing, sad that things couldn't have turned out better for my mom's sake, yet also relieved I'll be no longer breathing. Relieved that my broken heavy heart will stop beating, alas.

 

[akrasia]

A mixed of emotions. Happy that my suffering would end soon but anxious. Also scared that i would fail

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

A mixed of emotions. Happy that my suffering would end soon but anxious. Also scared that i would fail

I'm happy that my suffering will end soon too but I'm scared SN would fail, even tho it highly wont but still. And I am anxious too

 

[KuRsAnI]

I'm really excited and glad that my suffering will end and that I won'T enduring the gaping void of boredom that awaits me in the future.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

I'm really excited and glad that my suffering will end and that I won'T enduring the gaping void of boredom that awaits me in the future.

LMFAO IS YOUR PFP NO NECK ED

 

[KuRsAnI]

LMFAO IS YOUR PFP NO NECK ED

haha yeah :)

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

haha yeah :)

I love that and you

 

[KuRsAnI]

I love that and you

did you watch this week's mega episode? Ash's presentation was so cringe lol

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

did you watch this week's mega episode? Ash's presentation was so cringe lol

No, what is it called?

 

[Otter]

I have mixed emotions going on. Things aren't all in order yet (My SN should arrive by the 5th, but still don't have Meto. Have a Dr appointment on the 4th where I'm gonna try to get it). I reached out to my mom, as I wanted to give her one last hug before I die....but she's having car problems :"(

Planning on CTB next week if I can get Meto, hotel arranged. Yet, each time I try to sit and write my mom a good bye letter....the words don't come. How do I even begin?

Im feeling anxious about possible failing, sad that things couldn't have turned out better for my mom's sake, yet also relieved I'll be no longer breathing. Relieved that my broken heavy heart will stop beating, alas.

May try doing an audio or video. I think just allowing yourself to ramble could be very helpful. Yes no?

 

[moonbyul]

I also have mixed emotions. Feeling anxious because my method isn't 100% foolproof. If someone checks on me within a few hours there's a tiny chance I could still be saved. Unlikely, but the possibility of that still scares me, more than actually ctbing does. I'm also feeling a sense of relief because I know it'll be over soon. Hopefully I'll be at peace, but no one really knows what happens when you die do they? And lastly, feeling sad because I know there will be pain for those around me, but it's too difficult to continue on just for the sake of others.

 

[GoBack]

Scared. I haven't been a good person for a while now, I don't know what waits for me after.

 

[Erase.myself]

May try doing an audio or video. I think just allowing yourself to ramble could be very helpful. Yes no?

Thank you for that idea. That actually sounds like it would work a lot better. I'll try that when I feel ready. I'll try later today.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Unreal? torn between a shitty life and a shitty death. Don't want either.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

In my case, it depends on how soon you're asking. I'm hoping to be able to do it in 3 years, but I might have to wait longer, I'm not sure. For the people who are going to do it sooner, I'll just raise my glass and wish them good luck. The way that I feel about my situation is frustration over having to wait for it. It would be easier if I could find a few months of happiness somewhere in between, just to make waiting easier, but it might be a while before that happens.

 

[nervousandanxious]

Hi guys. I'm new here but familiar to these types of forums. I'm ready to CTB because of the whole crazy corona virus and what the world has come to. I don't want to stick around and hear any more depressing news about how people are dying due to the virus. My depression is at an all time high because I'm stuck in the house all day and unemployed. I wasn't equipped for the real world. I've always had trouble keeping jobs and I just can't do it. The world is a cruel place. We live to work, and to pass on our genes. Other than that, what fun is life? Working is hard. I can't do it. I lived 24 years of life and I'm about to turn 25. Shit just keeps getting harder and harder. I may stick around for a few more years but I want to end it by age 30. I don't want to see myself get old and unwanted. I've always been the cute girl who guys hit on and now I'm being replaced by the younger generation. It's a pretty shitty feeling to watch yourself get older. Every breath we take is one more closest to our last, my science professor once said.

Can't wait. I wake up every morning so sad. I find a hundred new reasons every day to go. If I can't get the SN I ordered, it'll be CO. I'm so happy I'm going home.

Not yet! You should really wait a bit longer before doing all this.
random suggestion : has anyone thought about a suicide partner? Two people who want to end their lives come together and have the best last day together. We do crazy fun things then at sunset we hold hands and jump off a bridge or yeet ourselves with a car by slamming on the accelerator and driving over a cliff or bridge. Just a wild suggestion if anyone's interested Might be a fun way to go honestly.

 

[Billicide]

I'm nervous that my brain fog is going to get worse, preventing me from completing the task. I really want to find a partner. I wish I could somehow watch my memorial service after I die.

 

[nervousandanxious]

I'm nervous that my brain fog is going to get worse, preventing me from completing the task. I really want to find a partner. I wish I could somehow watch my memorial service after I die.

Brain fog from what?! O.O

 

[Billicide]

Brain fog from what?! O.O

About 3 months ago I developed severe insomnia, brain fog, anxiety, and panic attacks. I've been to 10+ doctors but nobody can figure out what's going on. Sometimes it feels like my brain is burning or has constant adrenaline rushing through it, but I don't have a fever.

 

[nervousandanxious]

About 3 months ago I developed severe insomnia, brain fog, anxiety, and panic attacks. I've been to 10+ doctors but nobody can figure out what's going on. Sometimes it feels like my brain is burning or has constant adrenaline rushing through it, but I don't have a fever.

Oh wow. How did you suddenly develop this ? Is it because of the corona virus maybe ? I have insomnia sometimes due to anxiety and racing thoughts at night.

 

[RepressedMind]

Awful. I wish I could be peaceful mentally, but then I wouldn't want to kill myself.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Awful. I wish I could be peaceful mentally, but then I wouldn't want to kill myself.

Yeahhh

 

[EmpressDean]

free...my SN has arrived but it hasn't set in that I will be gone soon...very pleased

Did you get meto?