How do you numb your pain?

[overusedusername]

I've failed cbt'ing so many times it's pathetic. I'm trying PH but the pressure in my head builds, I struggle to breathe, panic, and SI kicks in. I'm fuckin mad but idk if it's gonna work tonight.

How do you numb your pain? I've been crying for the last few hours and I just want to feel like I don't exist. I used to drink, but it doesn't really cut it anymore lol. Cutting and binging + purging don't really work for me anymore either.

Edit: I hope this is the right place to post this. Still figuring out how things work around here.

 

[Lamentice]

Weed, sleep

 

[overusedusername]

Weed, sleep

Does weed ever make it worse for you? Sometimes it causes me to spiral

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

By watching Spice and Wolf 2024

 

[Kokonoe]

self-harm, ctb attempts, self-destructive/risky behavior, substance abuse (alcohol, weed, prescription drugs). or anything that distracts me at least a little bit. or dissociation. even right now i'm in so much pain but i can't do anything about it right now so it's like i can barely feel it, even though i know it's there, and i know how much i hate myself for it.