Ratcycling

Ratcycling

Member
Feb 16, 2022
15
Earlier today I was easily at a 5-6, which is the best I've been by far in 3 weeks. Then all the sudden about an hour ago, I completely crashed again. Now I'm at about a 2, I just want to sob myself to sleep, all I can think about is how shitty of a person I am and how I don't deserve to be happy or be treated with kindness.
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
846
Been at a 1~ all week. Tonight I took some oxycodone, Xanax, klonopin, & ~100mg oral thc, now dabs.. so by default raised to 3 just cuz drugs & soon as they wear off I'll be back to 1 or lower. Not doing so well
 
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Death_of_a_Phynixx

Death_of_a_Phynixx

09/22/90-2022
Jan 31, 2022
84
HI! I am so very happy for you! Your post really brightened my day so much. It is so awesome to see a fellow friend having a fantastic day/time!

You rock! Keep it up!

Sending you lots of hugs and beautiful sunny skies to make it even better!

Walter

HI! I live in the upper Midwest of the U.S., and it is the dead of winter right now, where it is, oh WOW, it is above 0F today!! I am also stuck in a house because of the temps and having chronic 24/7 pain the cold drives the pain up the wall, so you and me are like family on this.

I send you lots of hugs, warm sunny weather, and the knowledge that you are awesome, kind and so loved.

Take good care of yourself my great friend.

Walter
Thank you Walter for quoting me, I deeply appreciate you! My sincerest apologies for my delay. Thank you for the love and hugs, I am blushing and smiling all at once! I feel special! I have faith that your pain will heal and you will feel better soon! You are absolutely correct, we are all family and we are all healing together bit by bit, piece by piece, until we can all rejoin ourselves with emotional stability and overall happiness! I can Imagine us all leaving positive and cheerful communications as this one day soon! It is very possible for us all to get so much better emotionally! I send my huge warm hugs, my warm hearted love, and my deep appreciation to you Walter! Thank you again!
 
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FailureGirl

FailureGirl

lost in limbo...
Jul 5, 2021
133
2 it's getting hard to act normal and not slip up around others I just don't want to be here anymore but lately im feeling scared to ctb.
It's so hard, I can't stand staying but im scared to go. I wish I could just cut all contact and hide away self harming, drinking, takings meds to stop feeling till I could finally end it.

...and I'm so tired all the time I'm exhausted and hurting.
 
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DepressoEspresso

DepressoEspresso

Member
Dec 27, 2019
31
I used to joke about this and say -1 when asked.

I have no idea. I can't give a number because I don't know what I feel. I never thought I'd miss feeling sad or the ability to cry.
 
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faex42

faex42

Experienced
Oct 19, 2018
213
6 I managed to address some work-related problems that have been gnawing at me since last week.
Sometimes I feel connected to people here, other days very little. Today is one of those I don't feel connected days but at least I'm making an effort whereas in the past anxiety prevented me from doing so and I would retreat at any sign of rejection or being overlooked.
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
846
2 it would probably be a 1, but as usual I'm feeling so numb I can't feel the full 0
Or 1. Not doped up tho, just numb from being tired & dissociating from reality best I can to avoid surfing / pain there.
 
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L

LionsTigersAndBears

Archangel
Oct 14, 2020
10,657
2 feeling worse than usual for the last few weeks, I just ate 100mg of SN to find out how it tastes. It was a lot better than expected.
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
3
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
Feel free to rate how you're doing from 1-10 and/or give few sentences. Either one is fine too. Try to avoid responding as this is meant to be more of a vent thread. Reactions are welcomed.
1.

My head hurts.
And a plethora of reasons to wake up and feel like complete and utter shit.

Didja eat?
Didjur vagina bleed?
Didja poop?
Didja takeapiss?
How many fluid ounces?
Didja talk on the phone?
Didjaeat something?
Didja read anything?
Didja draw anything?
Can't you do your job?
Didju write anything?
Gawd, why don't you want to go outside or do anything?
Ha. And then if I do.
Oh. Well. Must be up to something.
Yeah. No. Not at all.
Mad at the world and everything in it?
As usual.
Laugh again?
Nah.

Did the pussy stalkers annoy you?
Is there a party?
You talking to somebody?
You being observed like a monkey as usual?
Not fun.
 
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callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,235
Life never began. Ratings never existed. As another member told me recently, I'm beyond contempt. Rest in peace the hopeless, truly.
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
4 again
 
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B

BrokenLine

Experienced
Jul 13, 2019
255
3, isolated and alone again.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,012
3, isolated and alone again.
HI!! you are never alone here on Sanctioned Suicide, as I care about you, and we are in this together.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, caring, kindness and the knowledge that you are an awesome, kind and caring soul.

Walter
 
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Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
Like a 3.. I feel kinda/pretty sick and weak today.

Feel really alone with everything too :/
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,012
Like a 3.. I feel kinda/pretty sick and weak today.

Feel really alone with everything too :/
HI!!! Big hugs, you are NEVER alone here ever!!!

Sending you more hugs and bright blue skies my awesome friend!

Walter
 
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R

Remember-Me-Not

I think I'm going to be okay.
Dec 10, 2019
91
I've been fluctuating from a 2 to 3 the past few weeks.
 
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Luchs

Luchs

kristallene Bergluft über verfallener Gruft
Aug 20, 2019
528
7
Tge war makes me kinda optimistic, I'm thinking about driving to Ukraine and dying in the war.
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
3 stay away from me normies
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,876
2 - it's a mess right now, without much prospect for getting better.
 
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dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
8.5. I'm cool , gliding with issues
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
-1 I feel like complete utter shit
 
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Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
Today a 6 good for a change.
 
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Reactions: ImsooDone1N and Alwaysdreaming

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