Method catching that bus! [SN tonight]

[Yoffi]

Any suggestions for how to send delayed emails? I've looked at FutureMe and Later.io but I'm not sure which one to trust. This is a really important part of my plan for me, so I would very much appreciate any info from people who have used them in the past.

I hope I'm not too late but google now allows delayed emails if you're using Gmail.

I wish you the very best and peaceful travels

 

[trynacbt]

Oh man...
After reading your post yesterday about your father and you going to the post office to grab your things, i was dreading to see this thread.
I really relate to a lot of things in you, and we are probably the same age. I'm 22.
I also don't want to die, but life has been very cruel to me and it's like everything is being done to put me on the edge, waiting for me to do the deed.
I don't know what to say to you, friend.
It makes me very sad to see it has come to this.
But i can't say that i don't understand your decision.
I know exactly what you're going through, so i highly respect your choice. I ordered my meto today and i'm waiting on my SN.
I probably won't be around much longer either.
But this is YOUR post.
And to say goodbye i would like to wish you a fast and smooth transition. Like those days that we are so tired that we immediatly fall asleep as soon as we touch the bed. I know that you will get your peace like so many here have already.
You will always be remembered.
SS loves you trynacbt! ❤

Thank you so much... you make me want to cry... yes we are similar in age, I am 23... I wish you the very best with your plans as well... and I wish our situations were , well, just a little better, hehe..

 

[Dubs]

We'll miss you! Your user picture is my favorite, I always enjoy seeing it.

 

[trynacbt]

Also I just gotta say it: I love that my level on here is "Master" because I dropped out of my master's this summer and it just feels like I'm kicking my own ass but in a good way ?

 

[Stan]

I am so sorry everything come to this. I will truly miss you. I hope everything goes as you wish and that you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Jean4]

I am going to miss you. Sending you lots of love. Will be here for you :)

 

[cranberry]

Best wishes. I'm 24 and wish I had the bravery you do.. I hope you find peace and clarity

 

[JSauter]

I wish I could give you a hug and walk you off the ledge. You're only 23 and obviously very intelligent. From my perspective, I see a person who's life can change. On the contrary, I am at the point of no return, too old to turn things around, with chronic pain and no future employment prospects, and set up for only a slide downhill into a life of loneliness and pain. Then I realize, if someone wanted to coax me out of suicide, I'd be angered - 'this person has no idea how bad i'm suffering.' And so, despite your youth and intellect, I have no idea what you're going through, trynacbt. So, it isn't my place to inject my opinions about the life you want to end, into your life , so I won't.

Doesn't stop me from wanting to hug you and wish it didn't have to be this way. Wish I had anything of consequence to say.

 

[hopelessandbroken]

i hope everything goes well and peacefully. whatever happens we are here for you. have a peaceful journey <3

 

[Fragile]

I can relate to a lot of what you feel and the way you put it into words is just beautiful, reading this was very emotional but also peaceful.

I really hope that you find peace and your family finds the strenght to move forward.

 

[CaptainT]

Shine on @trynacbt

 

[I'm exhausted]

You are in your 20's?

I hear you and all you as valid and I know it too, that inability to love self.

I also hear you not wanting to die. You seem intelligent to me. There are ways to heal this. Its an ardous process yet there truly are therapies out there that help move through the root of all this shit. Although most therapists and psychologists are actually absolutely useless when it comes to those of us on the brink. Need to know what looking for.

If you want help it is possible and I can point you in the right direction. However if you are determined then I wish you safe journey.

What would be the right direction?

 

[Girobatol]

Im gonna miss that little bus of yours. Have peace.

 

[trynacbt]

Thank you all so much, I am so very moved !! I never imagined I would receive such kind posts. And while I think suicide is one of the most difficult psychological challenges I've had to face, you all make the journey so much easier.

A small update: my sister is refusing to sleep in the same room as my dad (we have 2 in the apartment) and wants to sleep on the couch. She will be just outside my room. I hope no sound makes its way to her.

I will be around for another six hours or so. I'll write here as much as I can do that those interested in SN can take from it what they will.

Somehow I still feel like I'll be alive tomorrow. I've had this thought of "this is the night" so many times now that I feel certain I'll fail. Sigh. @Daniela I put menstrual pads in because someone wrote about diapers and it's all feeling so silly. I just hope I can make it.

I wish I could give you a hug and walk you off the ledge. You're only 23 and obviously very intelligent. From my perspective, I see a person who's life can change. On the contrary, I am at the point of no return, too old to turn things around, with chronic pain and no future employment prospects, and set up for only a slide downhill into a life of loneliness and pain. Then I realize, if someone wanted to coax me out of suicide, I'd be angered - 'this person has no idea how bad i'm suffering.' And so, despite your youth and intellect, I have no idea what you're going through, trynacbt. So, it isn't my place to inject my opinions about the life you want to end, into your life , so I won't.

Doesn't stop me from wanting to hug you and wish it didn't have to be this way. Wish I had anything of consequence to say.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate this. Unfortunately I do not feel I am intelligent and this is one of the things that most breaks my heart. But it is so very nice to hear.

 

[Icz]

I really resonated with much of what you said. All the best, wishing you a safe ride home.

 

[EndItQuickly]

Your words were so honest and raw...I legitimately cried while reading them. I hope you peacefully fall asleep and that whatever comes next is everything you hoped for.

 

[trynacbt]

Also so much love to Stan for the guide, helpful posts, and jokes.

I don't know what I will be thinking about when I finally get on the bus, but something tells me I will be alright.

 

[Essence]

I am new to this forum, but in the short time I have been here, I am overwhelmed by the sincerity, honesty, love, compassion and intelligence, oozing from so many members. Such smart and amazing souls. You @trynacbt are no exception. Beautiful post. My heart goes out to you, I am sorry for all that you have faced in your short time here. I wish you a peaceful and gentle journey to the next realm. Be well my friend

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Going to miss seeing you around. Definitely... Much love to you, I hope the ride isn't too bumpy and it's a smooth trip with a beautiful view. I always loved seeing you post and interact with everyone on SS. You rock! Smooth sailing. x

 

[Dubs]

I don't think anyone mentioned yet that of course we would love to have you back if you decide tonight isn't the night, so no pressure or anything. November 3rd was my original date but things got postponed.

 

[Dystopia]

Sorry to see you go; I enjoyed the brief chats we had and wish you the best of luck. Save me a warm seat

 

[Meant2Die]

I've been lurking the forums for a while and just recently joined as a member but your avatar always stood out to me and, through reading your posts, I quickly sensed you were an honest , friendly and reliable person on this board. Wishing you a quick and peaceful transition. You are a brave and beautiful soul.

 

[trynacbt]

Thank you so, so much to all of you who have written. I am so moved that if I didn't have to hold it together to save face in front of my family, I would be sobbing right now. Thank you for making my possible last hours on Earth so filled with love and kindness.

 

[Jean4]

You know you always have your family here who loves you and understands.

 

[Lara Francis]

Hi @trynacbt
Your post brings me to tears.
You express yourself very well and I am sure you are feeling lots of emotions right now but please know that we are here for you and you are loved and not alone.

I hope we can bring you comfort and support right now.
I do feel your despair and it does sadden me to read that you feel that you are not good enough! By who's standards?

Please forgive me for not knowing all of your life experiences but it sounds like you have been through so much already.
I think we all judge other people 's lives outside the forum and believe everything is easy for others when it probably isn't true.

I am finding it hard to find the right words atm but just want to say that you sound like such a lovely, kind and caring person to those around you and maybe with time, you could honour yourself with love too.
I am so sorry to read about your mum and that must have been incredibly hard - your letters will help your family understand your decision.
I am not going to do the pro life speech because ultimately it is your decision but I will just say that two things you say that stand out to me, the first one being, I don't want to die and the other being that I could give life other go,
You show great compassion when talking about your family and in time you may come to see that you are worthy of their love making the first step towards loving yourself.
You still have the gift of, a love for life and surely that brings a small Ray of hope with it!
I am sorry if I have said anything out of turn and please feel free to tell me to get lost but I whole heartly wish u peace in your journey ahead. Xx

 

[Daniela]

Please, please, please know you can still turn back anytime

 

[zeroambition]

I'm pretty new to this forum but I'm going to miss chatting with you especially when I felt lonely and needed someone to talk to. I wish you all the best and hope you find peace with whatever you choose to do. I'll always remember you

 

[TowerUpright]

Safe travels. And if you change your mind, were here for you.

 

[SinisterKid]

Thank you for all your contributions to this forum in your short time with us. Its obvious to anyone with half a brain that you are highly thought of here, respected and loved. I can pay no better tribute than that. Safe journey on that bus, I hope whatever it is you are searching for brings you the peace you crave,

 

[Daniela]

Is there any chance you may put this off for this one night?
Perhaps you could ask your sister to watch a DVD or a streaming movie together in your room?
I'm really sorry. but, this is also an option.