Story Everything is now planned

[insipid]

Hi,

I cannot share this with my close friends or with my family, because I do not want to bother them with this. I do not want to make them uncomfortable, I do not want to be worried for too long.

My life is empty. I have a great career, loving friends. I am single and it's difficult to live, been trying to date many people over the last 5 years but it's the same ending each time. I am in good shape, I know Im pretty, everything in my life is leading me towards a very comfortable one. But I feel empty, and do not enjoy any of those things any longer.

I have been thinking of this for 3 years now, and I believe I have found a solution to slowly fall asleep and never wake up. I would like to ask you if I am wrong, because I do not want to suffer during my last moments. I would like a peaceful ending, with my favourite songs playing in the background. I'm another country, so that my relatives do not get traumatised when my body is found (which will be found quickly).

I intend to get pretty drunk. A few glasses of vodka at first. Then start that playlist I have created for the opportunity. There will be, home, envelopes for all of my loved ones, with a last letter and a video on a USB stick, for all of them, to let them know about my last thoughts, and tell them I had a peaceful ending. I already started to pack my stuff in boxes to make it easier for everyone.

I would then eat about 1700mg of flurazepam (I have my ways to get it – won't write the commercial version of the molecule), and wait. Either inside a comfy environment, or in the snow, to maximise the chances with hypothermia, which I wouldn't feel that much thanks to the vodka.

I am not looking for encouragement, nor methods to improve my chances of dying; I know the science behind it, and I know I will die. I am pretty sure this will work in the way I expect it to work. I would just like to make sure the ending will be as peaceful as possible. Could somebody tell me if it will, indeed, be peaceful? I don't want scary hallucinations, or choking in my vomit. I have the right to do whatever I want with my life, and this is one of my rights. The will to stop aging, the will to avoid a chance of becoming handicapped in some way and become a liability for my loved ones. The will to avoid getting an horrible sickness, while I am still doing okay, and being forced to go through it. I do not want all of those bad things in life, though the reason for my choice is much deeper.

I appreciate the time you spent reading my post.

Lots of love to everyone

 

[Pale_Rider]

I wish you peace.

 

[ThatRussianDude]

Hmm if I understood you correctly, Im pretty sure this will not work, especially the comfy environment. Becase benzos on its own are not lethal.
In the snow - big maybe.

 

[insipid]

Hmm if I understood you correctly, Im pretty sure this will not work, especially the comfy environment. Becase benzos on its own are not lethal.
In the snow - big maybe.

I'll let you know

 

[kagebunshin]

Best of luck to you, however it may manifest.

 

[insipid]

Thank you all :)

I am so relieved I found a peaceful way to go. Suffering before death has always been my deepest fear. I did my research and I am just feeling so good right now.
I will send a last message here to let you know when it starts (or ends, depending on the point of view), then cut ties with everything and listen to a nice playlist with my favorite songs.
I don't think I'll get into snow, I wanna be cosy.

 

[ceilng_tile]

Hmm if I understood you correctly, Im pretty sure this will not work, especially the comfy environment. Becase benzos on its own are not lethal.
In the snow - big maybe.

Benzos cause respiratory depression. In high enough doses they can absolutely be lethal.

 

[darksouls]

I wish you the best, hope you find relief from suffering

 

[ThatRussianDude]

Benzos cause respiratory depression. In high enough doses they can absolutely be lethal.

Proof?

Benzos on its own, without opiates are very rarely lethal.

I'll let you know

I really wish you to achieve what you desire. But to my knowledge (mostly from PP, this forum and chatgpt) you need to tweak your plan.

 

[TheVanishingPoint]

I wish you the best for your project and hope you find the peace you're looking for. I just wanted to ask you, regarding what you wrote, what exactly do you mean when you say they will find you quickly?

 

[celtistan]

Hmm if I understood you correctly, Im pretty sure this will not work, especially the comfy environment. Becase benzos on its own are not lethal.
In the snow - big maybe.

I second this, benzos are very rarely lethal on their own, in literature they are used as supplementary drugs in peaceful end of life drug cocktails, just like anti-emetics, but never as the lethal (core) drug. Their role in drug cocktails is to make you lose consciousness and prevent siezures, delirium, and other painful side effects of drug methods, in other words they are responsible for the "peaceful" part in peaceful death, but not (and never) for the "death" part.

If you take benzos alone, they will just put you in prolonged coma, and potentially and paradoxically agitation in very massive overdoses, during which you'll not remember anything. However If you do take benzos with other sedatives e.g alcohol, then it becomes *potentially* lethal and could *potentially* cause respiratory depression that can *potentially* cause death, but thats not reliable way and death is not garanteed, and you may (very much possibly) end up surviving with a permanent brain damage.

 

[TBONTB]

Hi,

I cannot share this with my close friends or with my family, because I do not want to bother them with this. I do not want to make them uncomfortable, I do not want to be worried for too long.

My life is empty. I have a great career, loving friends. I am single and it's difficult to live, been trying to date many people over the last 5 years but it's the same ending each time. I am in good shape, I know Im pretty, everything in my life is leading me towards a very comfortable one. But I feel empty, and do not enjoy any of those things any longer.

I have been thinking of this for 3 years now, and I believe I have found a solution to slowly fall asleep and never wake up. I would like to ask you if I am wrong, because I do not want to suffer during my last moments. I would like a peaceful ending, with my favourite songs playing in the background. I'm another country, so that my relatives do not get traumatised when my body is found (which will be found quickly).

I intend to get pretty drunk. A few glasses of vodka at first. Then start that playlist I have created for the opportunity. There will be, home, envelopes for all of my loved ones, with a last letter and a video on a USB stick, for all of them, to let them know about my last thoughts, and tell them I had a peaceful ending. I already started to pack my stuff in boxes to make it easier for everyone.

I would then eat about 1700mg of flurazepam (I have my ways to get it – won't write the commercial version of the molecule), and wait. Either inside a comfy environment, or in the snow, to maximise the chances with hypothermia, which I wouldn't feel that much thanks to the vodka.

I am not looking for encouragement, nor methods to improve my chances of dying; I know the science behind it, and I know I will die. I am pretty sure this will work in the way I expect it to work. I would just like to make sure the ending will be as peaceful as possible. Could somebody tell me if it will, indeed, be peaceful? I don't want scary hallucinations, or choking in my vomit. I have the right to do whatever I want with my life, and this is one of my rights. The will to stop aging, the will to avoid a chance of becoming handicapped in some way and become a liability for my loved ones. The will to avoid getting an horrible sickness, while I am still doing okay, and being forced to go through it. I do not want all of those bad things in life, though the reason for my choice is much deeper.

I appreciate the time you spent reading my post.

Lots of love to everyone

I know nothing about your question but I do wish you great peace

 

[Dusk till dawn]

Benzos cause respiratory depression. In high enough doses they can absolutely be lethal.

The only problem is that it takes at the bare minimum over 500 pills to reach lethal threshold and sometimes 5k pills depending on your tablet and whether it's a modified release tablet and even then you have to take alcohol to accelerate CNS depression, good luck finding a way to not vomit if you're going to take more than 200 pills, i'd be so shocked if i couod find one death report where benzodiazepines alone lead to death in healthy adults, no alcohol, no opioids, no synergetic CNS depressants and especially not alcohol

I don't think oral benzodiazepines work, nothing short of being connected to a IV infusion device that's constantly pumping midazolam intravenously at a fast pace will work when it comes to benzodiazepines, i'd say chances of dying from oral benzodiazepine overdose especially if benzos are the sole overdose substance are less than 0.2% even with full emesis suppression

 

[insipid]

The only problem is that it takes at the bare minimum over 500 pills to reach lethal threshold and sometimes 5k pills depending on your tablet and whether it's a modified release tablet and even then you have to take alcohol to accelerate CNS depression, good luck finding a way to not vomit if you're going to take more than 200 pills, i'd be so shocked if i couod find one death report where benzodiazepines alone lead to death in healthy adults, no alcohol, no opioids, no synergetic CNS depressants and especially not alcohol

I don't think oral benzodiazepines work, nothing short of being connected to a IV infusion device that's constantly pumping midazolam intravenously at a fast pace will work when it comes to benzodiazepines, i'd say chances of dying from oral benzodiazepine overdose especially if benzos are the sole overdose substance are less than 0.2% even with full emesis suppression

Eine tödlich verlaufene Monointoxikation mit Flurazepam (Dalmadorm®) - Archives of Toxicology

A death case following a suicidal overdose of flurazepam (Dalmadorm®) is reported. The body was found after 3 month near a highway. The course of the intoxication is in question as benzodiazepines are believed to be relatively save drugs. The death might have occured rapidly because of the acute...

link.springer.com

A fatality due to flurazepam

A fatality attributed to suicidal ingestion of up to 2.2 grams of flurazepam is described. The deceased was a 52-year old female with a history of...

documentsdelivered.com

Acute flurazepam intoxication: a case report - PubMed

A fatality due to ingestion of flurazepam is reported. Flurazepam is a benzodiazepine, a widely prescribed hypnotic drug for use in sleep disorders. There are only few documented reports of the disposition of flurazepam in deaths due to overdose. A 68-year-old woman was found deceased at home...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

I'm talking about flurazepam. Usually, 2-3g *can* be deadly from what I have been reading. Using alcohol before is also a must, but even without that I think it would be enough.

Why is there a question of 500-5000 pills?

 

[Dusk till dawn]

Eine tödlich verlaufene Monointoxikation mit Flurazepam (Dalmadorm®) - Archives of Toxicology

A death case following a suicidal overdose of flurazepam (Dalmadorm®) is reported. The body was found after 3 month near a highway. The course of the intoxication is in question as benzodiazepines are believed to be relatively save drugs. The death might have occured rapidly because of the acute...

link.springer.com

A fatality due to flurazepam

A fatality attributed to suicidal ingestion of up to 2.2 grams of flurazepam is described. The deceased was a 52-year old female with a history of...

documentsdelivered.com

Acute flurazepam intoxication: a case report - PubMed

A fatality due to ingestion of flurazepam is reported. Flurazepam is a benzodiazepine, a widely prescribed hypnotic drug for use in sleep disorders. There are only few documented reports of the disposition of flurazepam in deaths due to overdose. A 68-year-old woman was found deceased at home...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

I'm talking about flurazepam. Usually, 2-3g *can* be deadly from what I have been reading. Using alcohol before is also a must, but even without that I think it would be enough.

Why is there a question of 500-5000 pills?

The tablets you're given usually have low doses, so i imagine 500 pills when it comes to benzodiazepines to reach the dose yos want, unless you're prescribed high dose tablets and have low tolerance (impossible to happen)

I just don't see benzodiazepines even at high doses working without alcohol and other GABAergic stuff, they're made safe and hard to overdose on by design, I know it's possible but the chances of it working especially if you have tolerance are very low

 

[botanist_dude]

I'm just afraid about your method. Remember that the pill coat sometimes is designed to have a slow release, and those mg could actually have a much lower punch. Don't let any loose ends.