Thank you very much. I should have done this earlier, sensing after so many trials my chronic illness only gets worse and more debilitating. I could drive short distances, but have no car. In reality I stayed around because I thought I could change the course of the suffering of my son, a schizophrenic, but alas, as had been for 20 years, he always reverts to stopping his medication and going wild. As a nurse with a BS in Psy, I am well advised on the progression and horrible suffering for this mental illness for 80%. Slow death by homelessness, drugs, prison, hunger, all kinds of trouble. I'd like to make a statement about the paucity and disinterest Nevertheless, I have only failed over and over, I'm fried, and I need a way out quick, because I can't stand my own pain, and the incredible stress of his self-destructive behavior. Can I do you think do this in a motel bathroom? I'd prefer a campside, but can only get where I can get. Thank you for contemplating a cohesive list, and the addition of information you've given. Any problem with relaxing in a bathtub already on a high dose of sleeping meds, and music. Maybe I could get to a motel with picnic area so I can light the briquettes and let them simmer so no attention will be alerted.
Oh hell, girl... that's bad, thanks for telling - but do not hurry it overmuch... failure shouldn't be an option, and you'll be free forever if you're successful.
A few questions, you cannot do it at home, really or are you in some hospital ? You can't get it to work with acids ? Please clear up. In a motel room you don't want to burn stuff, tents and cars have flammable interiors - all these nuisances can be handled or overcome, but we should be as close to an ideal scenario as possible - IT'S ONLY FOR THE ONCE. Always try to create an ideal scenery, don't compromise for superficial reasons.
I have a small 10 cbm store room that can be made airtight, the floor is tiled, the walls are concrete, I could probably commit chain saw mass murder there unnoticed, and nobody would be the wiser for months - this is a special sort of ideal - but a bathroom for two hours should be enough if it's not the sort where you set off smoke alarms and temperature sensors by burning a little charcoal... which is rather likely these days.
I would prefer to rent a holiday apartment on the beach, for a weekend at least or a flat for a few months, rather than try a motel room.
'Grill stuff' on the balcony, then carry it inside...
Talking hotel rooms, I recall there was a German politico in the late 1980s who killed himself after a political affair that ruined him, in a bathtub in the Beau Rivage in Geneva. He dozed off in the bathtub filled almost to the rim, with a heavy dose of barbiturates plus alcohol, and he had calculated it so that he would sink under and drown after being sufficiently sedated. Just saying, as you mentioned it - it was an interesting way to go and it worked perfectly - there were conspiracy theories about it being a murder, and if it was that wouldn't really change a lot from our point of view ;) You should be able to find out details by googling Uwe Barschel Suicide.
An hour later, I'm back to talk the least ideal method ;))
Say, you have to use a tent and charcoal, so all you need is a camp site where you're rather unobserved overnight and come over like someone who is enjoying nature for a few days. Okay ? Get a tent with inner tent (most are these days), these are about $30 for 2-3 persons. It desn't realy matter what brand or style, they will be about 2 m length and 1.5 width, and 1.2 or so in height, let's for simplicity's sake say you have 5 cubic meters of air inside.
Tents must be breathable, so you need to insulate and make sure the gas you create will stay inside... I would solve this by getting 4 to 6 cans of dark paint spray cans, maybe olive... you would place your inner tent on the floor and spray the paint onto its outside thickly, you want to close the distances between the fibers of the fabric from which the tent is made. Do you understand the principle ? This spray paint is basically a fast-drying adhesive with some pigments added... it will seal your tent *if you use enough of it*, guaranteed - but I haven't tested exactly how much would be needed, just a guess. Tape the remaining openings (air vents) shut, examine the zippers, are they made from a stiff enough material or will they let air through ? If so, spray them... this is all to gain time, in case you fail to reach a concentration of more than 5000 ppm - you will still be dead in an hour if you sealed off your tent correctly.
When you spray, thickly, the way you would NEVER want to use the spray can on, say, a car body, the inner tent will also get to be much darker, so nobody can see inside (tents are notoriously transparent if there's a light on inside ;)
Do this artwork a few days ahead of your final journey, somewhere else... once the paint is dry, you can cautiously pack the tent.
So, now you need to get about 2.5 kgs of coal briqs to the burn outside, you better arrange lots of food and drink around the tent and have a feast while you're at it, and take your bloody time... take it easy. You're having fun ! Then do a final coal-burning and get the stuff inside, and go to sleep with it. You will want a bucket with water inside in case something goes wrong, and you will want to put the glowing coals onto some heavy-duty insulation rather than onto the plastic floor of the tent, as that will melt in a second... but that issue has been described here. The main problem with glowing coals is that they are several hundred degrees hot inside.
