Help Can't tame my constant imaginary arguments.

[ropebunny]

Countless times a day, my mind autonomously sidetracks itself and decides to generate imaginary arguments to torment me with. I've put up with this my entire life but it's now dawning on me that my mental wellbeing is being severely impacted by it. It's SERIOUSLY stress-inducing, fatiguing and upsetting. I am not and never have been an argumentative person (quite the opposite) and am largely at a loss as for how this mental tic came to be. Usually by the time I catch myself engaging in one of these imaginary arguments, it has already spiralled and it's too late to nip it in the bud – my mood has already been ruined.

I feel that I have very little control over this :(

I figured I'd ask around here just in case anyone has experienced the same issue and could possibly offer advice. My mind feels unwieldy enough as it is without it hurling itself into these spontaneous acts of "let's prepare for an argument that is never going to happen anyway!!11!!1" a million times a day.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I experience the same issue and I wish I knew the solution. For me I was always used to getting negative criticism from my dad but when I escaped from living with him ten years ago, I weirdly felt for some reason like there was some kind of hole left over that could only be filled with negative feedback.

My shitty mind for some reason felt like it needed a voice to insult me and rather than find someone else to do so it created another me to argue with. Since then it always feels like I have to criticize myself for every little fuck up I make, which often leads to criticizing myself just for criticizing myself and the only way I cope with it is sometimes by letting myself sadistically enjoy making myself miserable because I hate him so much. I don't think I have DID or anything but my mind tends to feel fractured between two selves, both of which hate each other and I never know which one I am or what the difference is.

Something that I don't recommend but has worked for me in the past is alcohol. When I get really drunk I've heard I can be a lot more positive to myself or at least less antagonistic. Maybe it's because my brain temporarily loses the capacity to maintain two selves. I don't drink alcohol anymore because I hate the after effects and I just end up criticizing myself more for getting drunk so yeah, not a good idea.

 

[catsarecool]

I do this a lot too. In my brain I'll get into arguments with people in my head, sometimes for the smallest reasons or for no reason at all. Sometimes I replay older memories but change them in my head.

It's frustrating to get so heated up and angry over something that isn't even real. I think for me if I'm anxious or something has happened (I hurt someone or I was hurt by someone I care) I start doing it more often and my brain tries to think of scenarios that'll make me really angry and hurt because I overthink other people's actions and read cues where there are none. I think for me it's also a need to constantly feel like I'm in control and know what's happening so my brain tries to do that by preparing for most stupid arguments and scenarios when there's no need. Sadly I don't really know how to make it stop.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Countless times a day, my mind autonomously sidetracks itself and decides to generate imaginary arguments to torment me with. I've put up with this my entire life but it's now dawning on me that my mental wellbeing is being severely impacted by it. It's SERIOUSLY stress-inducing, fatiguing and upsetting. I am not and never have been an argumentative person (quite the opposite) and am largely at a loss as for how this mental tic came to be. Usually by the time I catch myself engaging in one of these imaginary arguments, it has already spiralled and it's too late to nip it in the bud – my mood has already been ruined.

I feel that I have very little control over this :(

I figured I'd ask around here just in case anyone has experienced the same issue and could possibly offer advice. My mind feels unwieldy enough as it is without it hurling itself into these spontaneous acts of "let's prepare for an argument that is never going to happen anyway!!11!!1" a million times a day.

Yes. I do that. It's not something I've ever discussed. I imagine I'm explaining something to someone, constructing an argument. It's me doing the arguing rather than arguments appearing against me.
I put it down to my OCD and my psychological need to order everything to establish some control in a reality where control is really an illusion.
Responding to comments on here is also a manifestation of this for me. It's a compulsion, to an extent, but it also helps. It's something I'm trying to accept, understand, come to terms with, and even use to my benefit.

 

[ropebunny]

Maybe I should just complain about this more because ever since submitting this post, the issue has barely reared its head

 

[SoIntoYou]

I don't have much attention requirements in my life, so I just let it happen a long time ago.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I have similar where I'm always justifying myself to people in my head. For me this is part of the guilt/shame elements of my OCD.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

That sounds pretty awful. Sometimes I have the same issue, usually when I'm stressed or irritable. If it gets unbearable, I try to distract myself with music or driving. I probably have a much more mild case though :(

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I really thought this was something only I was doing lol, but no I totally get this too. I find myself replaying and creating arguments in my head a lot. I often stress myself out loads over events and confrontations that have never happened.

Personally the only way I can deal with these is to ground myself in reality; I need some kind of distraction and a reminder that this is just in my head and these opinions are not real opinions that anyone has of me.

 

[ropebunny]

It's a relief to know that other people's brains also do this insanely dumb thing.

 

[HuskyD'hiver]

I absoultely do this on a daily basis because I'm way too in my head all day, every day. My imagination can tend to get the better of my focus and hence way I struggle to focus. I've never really seeb this as a bad thing though, because it reassures me at least that my imagination is still kicking; but for you if it effacts you more negatively, I hope that in being mindful of it, you might be able to stop that problem.