Venting 'but other people have it worse!'

[DeletedUser]

Often when discussing suicide, many will bring up the point that 'others have it worse', However to me that phrase only made me want to go even sooner...

 

[Forever Sleep]

I agree. It's like rubbing salt in a wound. Along with how unhappy you're feeling, here- have some guilt now too.

 

[hadenough58]

It is just a Cliché as if say for instance you break one leg and somebody else breaks 2 it does not make yours hurt any less?
One of the reasons I joint this site was to speak to people that truly understand how I feel rather than people who just give me pointless platitudes.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I relate to this so much!

"You have food, you have a bed .... others have it worse!" That's not a life in nowadays society ....

Personal suffering (and the wish to die) has nothing to do with how bad or good others have it.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Yes, this is totally meaningless. Someone else's pain does not reduce yours.

 

[nightmother]

Someone always has it worse, someone always has it better. But at the end of the day you only have you and whatever youre dealing with. Never let yourself think that your pain is less "legitimate" aswell.

 

[plastic]

I think to compare trouble and position in society is inappropriate.

 

[UKscotty]

Yes but when you have depression, life feels pointless and even waking up is a struggle.

I don't think people are trying to be mean, it's just hard to know what someone with depression is feeling unless you experience it.

A normal person can never understand the concept of having a brain that tells you to kill yourself.

 

[deathslament]

That must mean, despite me being in pain, I'm not in enough pain to warrant any peace, compassion or anything. I need to suffer more.

 

[juna]

Yes but when you have depression, life feels pointless and even waking up is a struggle.

I don't think people are trying to be mean, it's just hard to know what someone with depression is feeling unless you experience it.

A normal person can never understand the concept of having a brain that tells you to kill yourself.

That's why I joined this forum. Only one who knows suffering can understand it.

 

[Coconteppi]

Idk, I've always used that to really appreciate things in life. Someone likely does have it worsr than I do, even on my personal level. So I really appreciate knowing that I have it relatively good. Feels like I won something out of pure luck yk.
(P.s. A bit stoned.)
It doesn''t relate to my desire to CTB though. Someone elses choice to continue living through greater misfortune than I is their choice due to their personal beliefs and philosophies surrounding their life. These beliefs do not align with my own and thats fine. But I have a personal set of values, desires, thresholds, etc.

(Hope this made sense :P)
It doesn''t relate to my desire to CTB though. Someone elses choice to continue living through greater misfortune than I is their choice due to their personal beliefs and philosophies surrounding their life. These beliefs do not align with my own and thats fine. But I have a personal set of values, desires, thresholds, etc.

(Hope this made sense :P)

 

[Raindancer]

I struggle with this. Last night I watched Anne Franks diary and I just cannot imagine the suffering people endured.Yet they fought to live despite the horrible conditions. Because of health issues, I've come to realize how much we take for granted. Dry simple things once lost become way more important. But at the end of the day, unless someone has lived it or as the saying goes, walked in someone's shoes, they really cannot understand what the person is going through. And to say something flippant like others have it worse is heartless.

 

[SoulCage]

And the same people say "don't compare yourself to others".......

 

[pinkhellokitty]

it makes me incredibly mad when people say that, because why are you weaponising someone else's pain for your own gain? (to make a point)

actually ridiculous

 

[Ash]

I beat myself up with that stick enough so when others say it, that I believe it even more and end up feeling extremely selfish and ungrateful (like I was told I was so the way through my childhood), and therefore guilty and undeserving of this life and even more suicidal. (Also, side note to L, reminding me about our dead mutual friend and how much she wanted live after her crash: not helpful. See above for description of the cycle of shame and guilt.)

 

[rozeske]

"Ya others are suffering more than you so try to find some happiness and relief in that!"

 

[LostInTheWoods]

Yes this is the most stupid thing people can say to a suicidal person, and it shows tha lack of comprehension of mental health that still exists in society.

At the same time sometimes I put in perspective my problems think about people who don't live in a developped country like mine, and I feel grateful to at least have being luck on this matter. This state of mind lasts briefly though, because at the end of the day I'm living my life and in my life I jsut want to die. I feel bad for people who have it worse, this doesn't change the fact that I want to die. I can't base my happines on other people life. Plus there are people who have it worse, but there are also people who have it better. so...

 

[Olisop21.]

I just want to die too. I am the problem, nothing that happened to me is the cause of my misery. Came out screaming the second I was born. Don't want to go out that way. Always thought my method would have been od, tried it more times than I can remember. Ctb is scaring me to death.

 

[unabletocope]

Other people having it worse isn't motivating enough to stay alive, I am suffering so much and don't have the energy to deal with comparisons

 

[wait.what]

"Ya others are suffering more than you so try to find some happiness and relief in that!"

I know, right? "Quit being miserable! There are starving children out there!" Ooh, you're right … starving children always cheer me up.

 

[tbroken]

I know, right? "Quit being miserable! There are starving children out there!" Ooh, you're right … starving children always cheer me up.

One day this will end and we'll be free

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case just the fact that this world is filled with endless torment, suffering and cruelty just makes me wish to permanently not exist even more, it disturbs me how there is literally no limit as to how much an existing being can suffer, existence truly is so hellish to me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, things like this is annoying to hear from them. Other people suffering "more" doesn't make my suffering less. Besides, suffering is subjective anyway and just because others are suffering more doesn't make my desire to be dead any less valid. If I am dead, I won't be able to suffer at all which is what I want instead of suffering "less"

 

[sserafim]

It's the Oppression Olympics (but with suffering)

 

[Callie]

I can totally relate to this. Just because I cannot find a stable job due to my depression and anxiety, and just weakness in general be it mental or physical, they think I have it easy. They see me lying in bed the whole day, staying at home doing nothing, they think I have it easy.

They don't know the battles within me that I am having. Dealing with other people who hate me is depressing, but they don't know how much of a hell hating yourself. Your body is doing its thing to survive. You will get up, eat, drink, do normal things while your mind is rapidly deteriorating and just waiting to die. It's a cycle of punishment. You're tired of living but you're still surviving. You badly want to die but how ironic that you still have to get up to survive.

Most people see "having it hard" means you have to have 2 jobs that you can't keep, you have to be physically tired, you are a breadwinner, a supermom, a superdad, a superhuman, had to have a trauma or two in the past or something, crucified, etc. You have to be inspirational just so you can get a pass from the society that you actually have it hard. But it's not that!

You do all those things because you WANT to live. I do those things because I have to survive because unfortunately my body doesn't want to die, my mind fears killing myself but it's too late for any recovery. It's a kind of life that is meaningless. I only exist because I'm already here. God hates me so much. You know how fucked up that is?

And all these unheard pain are happening while I look so peaceful, and as non-problematic in bed so they won't allow me to say I am tired. Because it's not the "tired" they're feeling.

 

[Malaria]

 

[xhelx]

How is the suffering of others supposed to make me feel better about my own?

 

[StarryEyed]

I *hate* that too!! I came across the perfect response many years ago:

Saying I shouldn't be unhappy because people have it worse than me is as illogical as saying I shouldn't be happy because people have it better than me.

 

[iloverachel]

Never been a fan of that statement
By that logic, I shouldn't be depressed because someone out there has no legs, is homeless or lost their parents? Because they are going through something worse I can't be depressed?

 

[Meteora]

Often when discussing suicide, many will bring up the point that 'others have it worse', However to me that phrase only made me want to go even sooner...

Yeah sure, others have it worse. I can't tell how much I hate this sentence of these ignorant people.
Best is just not to listen to those fuckers.