wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
I doubt I'll actually die. My SI is too strong. I'll simply gaze at the jump I only wish I could make. However, I do say goodbye to SaSu and this community.

It's done, for me, equal harm and good. It's a unique forum no doubt, but merciless in its social circles all the same.

To all I've interacted with, I thank you for your time, and at times attention towards my well-being. To all I haven't interacted with, I'm sorry for not reaching out or seeing you there. I'm selfish and ignorant.

I hate humanity, but I love each person. I hate mental despair, but I love all you. I hate myself, but I love to be loved.

Mods, you are the best mods of any community I've been a part of. Users, show them some love.

And mods? You can deactivate my account in 48 hours.

Yeah, I'm that type. The one who's dependent on the love of others to determine my own self-worth. The one who longs to see those comments and reactions rack up. The one who is selfish beyond all saving. Hate me for it or respect me for it; it matters not.

I made one good friend on here, but I hurt them whenever I'm down. I'm so sorry. They are one of the best humans I've ever met. They rule. Let's all try to be nice to our friends. Idk even know what I'm saying anymore, lol.

I'm really tired. I'm really happy. I'm really hurt. I'm overwhelmed with emotions and the concept of life.

I'll miss you all. Swift peace to thee, and swift peace to me. Take care out there!!
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Oneness, MeltingBrain, broth0100 and 42 others
INTJme

INTJme

Epeolatrist
Mar 22, 2024
336
Goodbye and hope you find what you've been looking for either way.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Roadrunner and wondering&wandering
U

unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
728
Good luck, I hope you find what you are searching for
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Roadrunner and wondering&wandering
Malaria

Malaria

If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead
Feb 24, 2024
1,085
Best wishes. You are a very kind hearted person. May you find peace, however that looks like to you.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
Dliena

Dliena

๐š‚๐š‚ ๐™ผ๐šŽ๐š–๐š‹๐šŽ๐š› ๐™ฝ๐š˜. 43,53?
Dec 22, 2023
1,889
Farewells OP I wish you best with whichever outcome you take and may eternal peace/tranquility be in your reach.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
H

HopelesslyAlive

Member
Mar 12, 2024
25
Oh, to be a human with contradicting emotions is so confusing yet so wonderful. I also love what you said "I hate humanity, but I love each person." That is phenomenal, it will certainly stick with me.
I hope you find your peace, whatever that may look like for you.
Farewell, lovely.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
Sylveon

Sylveon

??/??/20??
Oct 10, 2023
491
Take care, stranger; I've read your posts on here, and I can definitely say that you're a very kind-hearted soul.

I hope you find peace, whatever it is that you decide to do. ๐Ÿค
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
Best wishes. You are a very kind hearted person. May you find peace, however that looks like to you.
Thank you for the compliment. I hope I can remain as so. And best wishes to you as well, friend.
Farewells OP I wish you best with whichever outcome you take and may eternal peace/tranquility be in your reach.
Much appreciated.
Oh, to be a human with contradicting emotions is so confusing yet so wonderful. I also love what you said "I hate humanity, but I love each person." That is phenomenal, it will certainly stick with me.
Haha, thanks. Glad you liked my musings. Love you my fellow person!
I hope you find your peace, whatever that may look like for you.
Farewell, lovely.
I'll try. I'll certainly try somehow.
Take care, stranger; I've read your posts on here, and I can definitely say that you're a very kind-hearted soul.

I hope you find peace, whatever it is that you decide to do. ๐Ÿค
Thank you. I try to be a good soul despite fighting an infection of the mind.

I'm not sure yet what I'll do, but I suppose indecision is still a decision in the end.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Dliena, Sylveon, smalleiers and 1 other person
G

grahf

Broken English from Indonesia
Mar 3, 2024
141
Good luck I hope you find peace
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,545
Safe travels and good luck! May you find peace!
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
I

iloverachel

Enlightened
Mar 7, 2024
1,199
good bye my friend
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,793
I wish you all the best @wondering&wandering . Hope you find the peace you are looking for โค๏ธ
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
Silent_cries

Silent_cries

Too many flashbacks, can't take it anymore! Help!
Aug 10, 2021
1,422
I doubt I'll actually die. My SI is too strong. I'll simply gaze at the jump I only wish I could make. However, I do say goodbye to SaSu and this community.

It's done, for me, equal harm and good. It's a unique forum no doubt, but merciless in its social circles all the same.

To all I've interacted with, I thank you for your time, and at times attention towards my well-being. To all I haven't interacted with, I'm sorry for not reaching out or seeing you there. I'm selfish and ignorant.

I hate humanity, but I love each person. I hate mental despair, but I love all you. I hate myself, but I love to be loved.

Mods, you are the best mods of any community I've been a part of. Users, show them some love.

And mods? You can deactivate my account in 48 hours.

Yeah, I'm that type. The one who's dependent on the love of others to determine my own self-worth. The one who longs to see those comments and reactions rack up. The one who is selfish beyond all saving. Hate me for it or respect me for it; it matters not.

I made one good friend on here, but I hurt them whenever I'm down. I'm so sorry. They are one of the best humans I've ever met. They rule. Let's all try to be nice to our friends. Idk even know what I'm saying anymore, lol.

I'm really tired. I'm really happy. I'm really hurt. I'm overwhelmed with emotions and the concept of life.

I'll miss you all. Swift peace to thee, and swift peace to me. Take care out there!!
Goodbye and good luck, I'm sure you'll figure things out. If you can't bring yourself to jump, then maybe get yourself to trip or pass out so that you'll fall that way? (assuming you're doing ctb by jumping based on what you wrote)
Even if you do fail don't beat yourself up over it, remember it takes courage to fight your SI. I've failed many times myself, hence why I'm still here.
I'll miss you though, I liked it when you'd stalk my profilr status and leave hearts and hugs. We might not have talked alot, but it meant alot to me. Take care <3
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
Arachno

Arachno

oh no :(
Apr 10, 2023
248
I hope everything works out well for you and that you find the peace you are seeking. I wish you the best <3.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
Safe travels and good luck! May you find peace!
Thanks. Peace to you too!
good bye my friend
Buh-bye, friend
I wish you all the best @wondering&wandering . Hope you find the peace you are looking for โค๏ธ
I hope so too. We'll see.
Goodbye and good luck, I'm sure you'll figure things out. If you can't bring yourself to jump, then maybe get yourself to trip or pass out so that you'll fall that way? (assuming you're doing ctb by jumping based on what you wrote)
Yeah, jumping is my method of choice. Seems the most poetic to me for the life I've lived. I don't know if I could get myself to do those alternate ways to fall, but I appreciate the suggestions!
Even if you do fail don't beat yourself up over it, remember it takes courage to fight your SI. I've failed many times myself, hence why I'm still here.
I'll beat myself up for sure if I don't go through with it. Partly (not the main reason) why I'm leaving is because I would feel like an absolute joke being on this forum after failing. I know I shouldn't, and I'd probs say to you not to feel ashamed of your SI, but I guess I'm a good hypocrite.
I'll miss you though, I liked it when you'd stalk my profilr status and leave hearts and hugs. We might not have talked alot, but it meant alot to me. Take care <3
Lol, I'll miss you too. Love you deeply friend. <3 We'll see what happens in the next 24 hours. It'll be interesting.

Take care out there!!
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: luneylonegirl, rozeske and Praestat_Mori
wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
I hope everything works out well for you and that you find the peace you are seeking. I wish you the best <3.
Thank you. I hope so too, and wish the same to you!
 
  • Love
Reactions: Arachno
Jup_not_gup

Jup_not_gup

Looking For Peace
Mar 25, 2024
13
I doubt I'll actually die. My SI is too strong. I'll simply gaze at the jump I only wish I could make. However, I do say goodbye to SaSu and this community.

It's done, for me, equal harm and good. It's a unique forum no doubt, but merciless in its social circles all the same.

To all I've interacted with, I thank you for your time, and at times attention towards my well-being. To all I haven't interacted with, I'm sorry for not reaching out or seeing you there. I'm selfish and ignorant.

I hate humanity, but I love each person. I hate mental despair, but I love all you. I hate myself, but I love to be loved.

Mods, you are the best mods of any community I've been a part of. Users, show them some love.

And mods? You can deactivate my account in 48 hours.

Yeah, I'm that type. The one who's dependent on the love of others to determine my own self-worth. The one who longs to see those comments and reactions rack up. The one who is selfish beyond all saving. Hate me for it or respect me for it; it matters not.

I made one good friend on here, but I hurt them whenever I'm down. I'm so sorry. They are one of the best humans I've ever met. They rule. Let's all try to be nice to our friends. Idk even know what I'm saying anymore, lol.

I'm really tired. I'm really happy. I'm really hurt. I'm overwhelmed with emotions and the concept of life.

I'll miss you all. Swift peace to thee, and swift peace to me. Take care out there!!
Goodbye, hope you find peace๐Ÿค
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
Blurry_Buildings

Blurry_Buildings

Just Existing
Sep 27, 2023
458
Thank you for being a kind person. I hope you will find happiness.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
Thank you for being a kind person. I hope you will find happiness.
Thank you, that means a lot. I hope I get what I deserve tomorrow. And I wish you happiness, too!
 
  • Love
Reactions: Blurry_Buildings
Silent_cries

Silent_cries

Too many flashbacks, can't take it anymore! Help!
Aug 10, 2021
1,422
Thanks. Peace to you too!

Buh-bye, friend

I hope so too. We'll see.

Yeah, jumping is my method of choice. Seems the most poetic to me for the life I've lived. I don't know if I could get myself to do those alternate ways to fall, but I appreciate the suggestions!

I'll beat myself up for sure if I don't go through with it. Partly (not the main reason) why I'm leaving is because I would feel like an absolute joke being on this forum after failing. I know I shouldn't, and I'd probs say to you not to feel ashamed of your SI, but I guess I'm a good hypocrite.

Lol, I'll miss you too. Love you deeply friend. <3 We'll see what happens in the next 24 hours. It'll be interesting.

Take care out there!!
I understand why you feel that way, I feel like a joke too for my many failed attempts, yet ppl have been incredible supportive through it all, even when I returned after saying I was going to do it, so I know for a fact that no one would think you're a joke. I would certainly not. Take this from someone who has probably attempted 20 times since I came here. Either way it's your choice at the end of the day and I'm not going to prevent you, but I want you to know that I'm there for you no matter how many attempts you'd fail. I'll never think anything differently about you no matter what, bc why would I anyway? SI is incredibly hard to overcome, I know that far too well.

Whatever happens, I just hope you find peace, or at least that it'll turn into something good. You deserve to be happy, or at least free. Good luck, must your fate be on your side this time <3
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
I understand why you feel that way, I feel like a joke too for my many failed attempts, yet ppl have been incredible supportive through it all, even when I returned after saying I was going to do it, so I know for a fact that no one would think you're a joke. I would certainly not. Take this from someone who has probably attempted 20 times since I came here. Either way it's your choice at the end of the day and I'm not going to prevent you, but I want you to know that I'm there for you no matter how many attempts you'd fail. I'll never think anything differently about you no matter what, bc why would I anyway? SI is incredibly hard to overcome, I know that far too well.
I really appreciate you taking the time to say this. Did you have time to talk with me? No worries if not.
Whatever happens, I just hope you find peace, or at least that it'll turn into something good. You deserve to be happy, or at least free. Good luck, must your fate be on your side this time <3
Thanks!!
 
theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,020
I wish you all the best
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
druggedonsurvival

druggedonsurvival

Student
Feb 8, 2024
193
Sad to see you go, but I hope you can find peace in whatever way you prefer.
I hate humanity, but I love each person. I hate mental despair, but I love all you. I hate myself, but I love to be loved.
I feel that I can relate to this part of what you said very much. I will remember it.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
242
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: theboy
LunarCharm

LunarCharm

Iโ€™m ready to go
Jul 2, 2023
73
I didn't know you, but I hope you find peace friend ๐Ÿซ‚
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,212
I hope you find peace soon and I wish you the best of luck
 
  • Love
Reactions: wondering&wandering

Similar threads

Ignorant7879
Replies
0
Views
113
Suicide Discussion
Ignorant7879
Ignorant7879
TheHolySword
Replies
4
Views
206
Suicide Discussion
HeartThatFeeds
HeartThatFeeds
aimlessghost
Replies
2
Views
180
Suicide Discussion
aimlessghost
aimlessghost
T
Replies
17
Views
936
Suicide Discussion
ForestGhost
ForestGhost
Mayfly
Replies
0
Views
112
Suicide Discussion
Mayfly
Mayfly