LevUwU
I hate my life and the government
- Mar 16, 2024
- 181
I've finally broken free of the curse of thinking I was loved. No more, I see clearly.
I'm not only unlovable, but I'm not loved, and I'm thankful.
My best friend left me.
My parents never truly loved me, only the concept of me. The me that would be "better" than them. The me who lived up to their aspersions, the me who could give their pitiful lives meaning; but that me? Never. Existed. They don't love the real me, they don't love the fucked up mess of a stubborn disgusting depressive daughter who wants nothing more than death and apathy.
My other friends? Don't have those!!
My pets? How I love them, how I endear them, how they seem to love me too. They are nothing more than animals regardless, and they will live on after my death with me being a afterthought.
Afterthought. Such a fun word, the thought that happens after the primary thought.
That's me, I'm the afterthought to everyone around me, I'm the item you grab last in a fire, the one you only grab at all because you think maybe someone would like to keep it. No one does.
Finally, after so long I can let go, and finally give in to the one thing I've longed for, suicide.
I feel so free in this misery, I feel like at last I am truly alive, alive, alive, now that I finally commit to die.
Death, I love you so. The desert to this unsavory dinner. The final page to a horrid book. The epiphany to a picayune existence.
Thank you SaSu, for being here, for the help, for everything. I'll keep you all updated and continue my regular posting and what not.
Soon.
-Lev
I'm not only unlovable, but I'm not loved, and I'm thankful.
My best friend left me.
My parents never truly loved me, only the concept of me. The me that would be "better" than them. The me who lived up to their aspersions, the me who could give their pitiful lives meaning; but that me? Never. Existed. They don't love the real me, they don't love the fucked up mess of a stubborn disgusting depressive daughter who wants nothing more than death and apathy.
My other friends? Don't have those!!
My pets? How I love them, how I endear them, how they seem to love me too. They are nothing more than animals regardless, and they will live on after my death with me being a afterthought.
Afterthought. Such a fun word, the thought that happens after the primary thought.
That's me, I'm the afterthought to everyone around me, I'm the item you grab last in a fire, the one you only grab at all because you think maybe someone would like to keep it. No one does.
Finally, after so long I can let go, and finally give in to the one thing I've longed for, suicide.
I feel so free in this misery, I feel like at last I am truly alive, alive, alive, now that I finally commit to die.
Death, I love you so. The desert to this unsavory dinner. The final page to a horrid book. The epiphany to a picayune existence.
Thank you SaSu, for being here, for the help, for everything. I'll keep you all updated and continue my regular posting and what not.
Soon.
-Lev
