ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 485
Hi all
As you all know me
I love you all and I wanna share something, though I'll not recommend it to anyone.
Today I'm quite stressed out and I couldn't stop the urge to have alcohol. This reminds me of 2023 when I first started to drink alcohol. My gf had put an allegation on my character and she was feeding everyone's mind with that shit. It had torn my world apart because I loved her a lot. Under stress, I started drinking alcohol, and I started with neat Old Monk Rum. I would listen to Linkin park songs like numb, in the end, breaking the habit, crawling in the skin, somewhere i belong, new divide, not alone, leave out all the rest, etc. I started finding solace in this and it became my way of escaping reality. It took 2 months to prove myself innocent and a lot of efforts. That girl was already in relationship with someone the moment she had put allegations on me and that's why she played mind games with me so no one calls her a cheater and she can put the blame on me that she left me because i was wrong.
After I proved myself right, she had no choice but to come back to me, but she was still talking shit behind my back so she could blame it on me and avoid the tag of a cheater.
The catch was, the relationship was started due to her month long caring efforts. And she had come in my life like a fresh breeze of air after being suffocated for long. But i didn't know it was a honey trap that will take away my soul from me.
After 2019 CTB, i had fortified myself and I started helping people in distress. I made that my purpose. She had asked me for a call back in 2021, which i had declined. I wish I stayed away from her. My instincts kinda knew that I need to stay away from her. But I got blinded when she started caring and showing love. I don't know why i perceived her love as innocent. I didn't know she was trying to tap into my fame.
I'm left with no energy to love anyone ever again.
Isn't it interesting, the people who say that they love us, how do they even think of hurting. If she developed feelings for someone else she could have simply said to me that she has developed feelings for someone else and she wants to part ways. But she chose to create drama and had no remorse for her actions despite all the love I gave her. I never treated her like an object of pleasure. But I treated her as my most priced possession.
Thanks for reading this far
just wanted to share my story with you all if it resonates with anyone.
Disclaimer: if you are not an alcoholic, don't even think of touching it. It's really a bad thing and it makes things worse. You can call it a spiral of doom.
And
Relationship advice: love yourself first before you love anyone.. Know your self worth.. don't keep anyone above your self respect. The moment someone treats you bad way, confront them or simply distance from them whatever suits the situation but don't carry on. If you keep holding on to a barbed wire, it'll make you bleed. I did the same, i kept holding on to a barbed wire thinking that she may understand my worth then.
Human relationships work differently. They value whats scarce. So, don't be so available for anyone that they start taking you for granted. Be honest and genuine. But don't let anyone take advantage of you.
As you all know me
I love you all and I wanna share something, though I'll not recommend it to anyone.
Today I'm quite stressed out and I couldn't stop the urge to have alcohol. This reminds me of 2023 when I first started to drink alcohol. My gf had put an allegation on my character and she was feeding everyone's mind with that shit. It had torn my world apart because I loved her a lot. Under stress, I started drinking alcohol, and I started with neat Old Monk Rum. I would listen to Linkin park songs like numb, in the end, breaking the habit, crawling in the skin, somewhere i belong, new divide, not alone, leave out all the rest, etc. I started finding solace in this and it became my way of escaping reality. It took 2 months to prove myself innocent and a lot of efforts. That girl was already in relationship with someone the moment she had put allegations on me and that's why she played mind games with me so no one calls her a cheater and she can put the blame on me that she left me because i was wrong.
After I proved myself right, she had no choice but to come back to me, but she was still talking shit behind my back so she could blame it on me and avoid the tag of a cheater.
The catch was, the relationship was started due to her month long caring efforts. And she had come in my life like a fresh breeze of air after being suffocated for long. But i didn't know it was a honey trap that will take away my soul from me.
After 2019 CTB, i had fortified myself and I started helping people in distress. I made that my purpose. She had asked me for a call back in 2021, which i had declined. I wish I stayed away from her. My instincts kinda knew that I need to stay away from her. But I got blinded when she started caring and showing love. I don't know why i perceived her love as innocent. I didn't know she was trying to tap into my fame.
I'm left with no energy to love anyone ever again.
Isn't it interesting, the people who say that they love us, how do they even think of hurting. If she developed feelings for someone else she could have simply said to me that she has developed feelings for someone else and she wants to part ways. But she chose to create drama and had no remorse for her actions despite all the love I gave her. I never treated her like an object of pleasure. But I treated her as my most priced possession.
Thanks for reading this far
just wanted to share my story with you all if it resonates with anyone.Disclaimer: if you are not an alcoholic, don't even think of touching it. It's really a bad thing and it makes things worse. You can call it a spiral of doom.
And
Relationship advice: love yourself first before you love anyone.. Know your self worth.. don't keep anyone above your self respect. The moment someone treats you bad way, confront them or simply distance from them whatever suits the situation but don't carry on. If you keep holding on to a barbed wire, it'll make you bleed. I did the same, i kept holding on to a barbed wire thinking that she may understand my worth then.
Human relationships work differently. They value whats scarce. So, don't be so available for anyone that they start taking you for granted. Be honest and genuine. But don't let anyone take advantage of you.
