Breaking Up with SS

[checkouttime]

There's an easy solution to things like this, if you aren't happy or comfortable with things on the site then you can just disable your account,no1 holds you here against your will. Just like the people who choose to join and want to be here. If you you aren't comfortable with stuff to do with suicide don't join a suicide site, its not rocket science.

 

[Weary Soul]

I am older as well, and agree with some of what you said and disagree with some other things. But, that is the beauty of autonomy, free speech, and thinking for oneself.

Break-ups are never easy. Nonetheless, I wish you nothing but peace as you continue your journey.

<3

 

[Lorraine]

Try not to project your outlook onto other people, because your post sure seems to say that your way and your experience with life as being "worth living" is some sort of universal fact, when it's not.

..Also I don't understand how you were present for another person's death when you make it sound like you were forced to witness it against your will?
Could you not have exited out of it?
Apologies but that part confused me..

What do you consider support offered too freely?
I am pretty sure the community offers their support because they know it won't be had elsewhere and they're sick of being without, it just seems silly to isolate that as an issue on a site that is basically a tiny little speck on the internet, serving a purpose that no other place will.
Would you rather snuff out that tiny outlet entirely?

I am not sure what you consider too young to make the decision either, as I assume you mean some age range over 18, considering minors are banned from becoming members (obviously some try to sign up anyways, but you get my point.)

Cheers to you, but did you really have to announce it? Unless to degrade the majority of the community and the site itself? Slamming the door on your way out..
It's just not tasteful, and it's unnecessary, like those who announce their leave from Facebook or other social media.
I would think it would do you better just to message your farewells to the few members you actually connected with.

Either way, I am sure you are making the right decision for YOU if that's how you feel about the matter.
So I won't knock you for that much.
...
I see in a follow up comment you addressed the specification but don't you think empathy includes supporting those who think differently than yourself?
It doesn't sound like you can actually put yourself in other's shoes as a self-proclaimed "empath"..I think if you could, you wouldn't be saying what you are.

Btw I've seen plenty to the "contrary" of what you find issue with, and the recovery section is quite active now, to the point I keep accidentally ending up there from clicking into unassumingly titled threads in the "what's new" section.

I apologize for coming across as attacking the site, honestly. I appreciate your straightforwardness. And maybe announcing was not the best choice, but I wanted to cast a wide net in case there were those out there who had felt similarly with whom I could connect.
Thank you for letting me know that the Recovery section is more active now. Maybe I should give it another try.
As for being virtually present for someone, it was unexpected, and once I realized what was happening, I did not feel right about just departing. I should not have even brought that up in my original post.
I see all of your points. But, I don't feel the need to address my "empathy". I have already had to "defend" myself enough.
Regards,
Lorraine

There's an easy solution to things like this, if you aren't happy or comfortable with things on the site then you can just disable your account,no1 holds you here against your will. Just like the people who choose to join and want to be here. If you you aren't comfortable with stuff to do with suicide don't join a suicide site, its not rocket science.

That is oversimplifying, but I appreciate what you're saying.

you probably have a nice life, I'm pretty sure you're not tormented by thoughts, that's why you say that.

Oh, whew, you have no idea how thoughts torment me..........
I suppose my original post was written in haste. I am mentally ill as are many others here and do not always think. I could probably stand to have an editor, as well. I was somewhat overwhelmed when writing it.
I recognize that my words caused some of you to feel offended or that you must defend your rights, somehow. I am genuinely sorry for any suffering that my words added.

 

[Goodbye710]

I apologize for coming across as attacking the site, honestly.

No need to apologize Lorraine. You were polite before.

The culture is rapidly changing and has made it's way to this site this year. Essentially people getting mad at others if someone else has a difference of opinion.

In the past, people overlooked differences and would find common ground. Nowadays, not so much.

 

[littleloup]

It's a shame I didn't have a chance to get to know you before your break-up. Even though I'm new, I don't quite agree with everything you've said. However I feel that it's good you are self-aware about your needs and wants. It's admirable.

 

[Efilismislife]

No wonder people are depressed&suicidal then

I guess people who are different automatically condemned by society

The culture is rapidly changing and has made it's way to this site this year. Essentially people getting mad at others if someone else has a difference of opinion.

In the past, people overlooked differences and would find common ground. Nowadays, not so much.

 

[Life_and_Death]

In the past, people overlooked differences and would find common ground.

how far in the past? im only asking because when you said past i thought of slavery and just a general lack of rights and how that doesnt sound like over looking differences to me. of course after thinking that i also thought about the "hippie" era where they at least tried to embrace everything and not care. and now here we are today, i dont think i need to comment on todays people lol

 

[motel rooms]

The culture is rapidly changing and has made it's way to this site this year. Essentially people getting mad at others if someone else has a difference of opinion.
In the past, people overlooked differences and would find common ground. Nowadays, not so much.

Ah, the good old days when JFK & MLK were assassinated, when the normies hated & occasionally persecuted the hippy pacifists & feminists & called gay men pedophiles & when every Democrat just adored Nixon, Reagan & the Bushes Everything was so wonderful in the past, there were no conflicts at all... It's called the Golden Age Fallacy & older people have been susceptible to it since the dawn of time...

You're entitled to your conservative opinions, just don't be surprised when people challenge them. You can't say that suicide is okay only in rare circumstances on a pro-choice forum & imply that suicidal young people are just hypersensitive brats who were raised wrong & expect no one to react

 

[Lorraine]

Calm down, yo. Yea, I'm still here cuz maybe I'm even changing my mind. (unless I get banned, of course, but I doubt that) But, seriously calm down. This has zero to do with Nixon, Reagan, or the Bushes. How did that even come up on my thread? Please.

 

[motel rooms]

Calm down, yo. Yea, I'm still here cuz maybe I'm even changing my mind. (unless I get banned, of course, but I doubt that) But, seriously calm down. This has zero to do with Nixon, Reagan, or the Bushes. How did that even come up on my thread? Please.

It came up because @Jpd998 brought up the wonderful conflict-free past that never actually existed. I'm perfectly calm & coherent

 

[Goodbye710]

There are good people here but many others it's not wise to converse with them.

Just wanted to repeat what I mentioned in a past post.

The reason is they are just unloading their emotional garbage on others. You'll know this when you reply to them and you end up feeling abused and upset.

Best to ignore them.

 

[Lorraine]

I definitely did not intend to start a generational war zone, by the way. Ugh. We all have valid views from our own perspectives.

 

[motel rooms]

I definitely did not intend to start a generational war zone, by the way. Ugh. We all have valid views from our own perspectives.

I'm perfectly fine with people having all kinds of opinions, but they should also be willing to have them challenged in a discussion. I haven't said anything inappropriate to @Jpd998 & I'm certainly not "unloading my emotional garbage" on them by defending the right of young people dealing with unbearable suffering to ctb

 

[listeningpost1379]

This site is a community and thus a resource, by adults and for adults. How one uses it is up to oneself entirely. The only one responsible for your experience here is yourself and each of us will have a different one. It can definitely be unhealthy and draining. It can be soothing and a decent coping mechanism too

That being said, "generational difference" is meaningless to me because I'm not from the Western world, as are a majority of people here. There is no such benchmark of societal developments to separate our "generations". All children born at the same time as Western baby boomers in my birth country were being bombed, gunned and tortured to death while also dying from famine. The concept of generation divide between young and old people is a very naive and narrow view, and I think most people here understand and that's why rarely does anyone bring it up.

 

[Meditation guide]

It requires empathy to realize how intense and prolonged some of the suffering is on this site. And where else is there to talk openly about it and the desire to commit suicide?

There should be more sites like this.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Additionally, it is outrageously offensive when someone (e.g. @Jpd998) flippantly dismisses my generation as "edgy" and then when we explain our perspectives, we are apparently "unloading emotional garbage."

Im guessing you mean

Just wanted to repeat what I mentioned in a past post.

The reason is they are just unloading their emotional garbage on others. You'll know this when you reply to them and you end up feeling abused and upset.

Best to ignore them.

I just assumed they meant everyone here and the way one responds to a thread, because ive dealt with this here a lot more then i should have to

 

[Weary Soul]

Hi Lorraine,

I am curious (and please no need to respond if you find this an uncomfortable question).

What exactly did you mean (as in specific examples) when you said that this site is unhealthy? Also, if you could, what would you like to see here to make it more in line with what you view as healthy?

Personally, I am a bit uncomfortable with how easy it is to find methods on this site, particularly for those who are looking to end their lives because of things like "s/he broke up with me," or my mom "took my phone away."

Personally, I would like to see methods "hidden" here until one has posted here so many times, in order to prevent impulsive suicides. Similar to how people have to post here so many times before they can either PM or do other things. Although, these methods are readily available to find elsewhere on the internet if one looks for them.

Also, the fact that these methods are redily available to those who lurk is especially concerning to me because then there is absolutely no chance to support them one way or another before they might take their own lives.

It feels important (to me) to note that I am speaking of trauma that is "fixable" or will likely change over time.

Every single time someone takes their own life here my heart aches. I bleed a little inside that life has been so cruel as to drive people to this. But I get it. I do. People and lLife can be cruel/intolerable for so many that suicide is actually a relief or can be. Which is a pretty sad statement (but fact) of this society we live in.

Also, I have been here for quite some time (before Stan made his quide), and this place is so much better compared to then. So just like life, things can change over time. How about suggesting the changes you would like to see? Those changes may not be accepted, but, at the very least you have tried to change something you have seen as unhealthy.

Much peace and love to you!!

 

[Makko]

Personally, I would like to see methods "hidden" here until one has posted here so many times, in order to prevent impulsive suicides. Similar to how people have to post here so many times before they can either PM or do other things. Although, these methods are readily available to find elsewhere on the internet if one looks for them.

Even an impulsive visitor is better off with good information and a successfull suicide than incomplete information and a botched suicide attempt. Hiding information won't stop anyone from attempting. In fact, an internet forum won't stop or force anyone from doing anything at all; we've been over this multiple times. People base their decisions on factors entirely unrelated. The forum only informs the decision.

 

[Efilismislife]

I never come here for the recovery section, i think ill never go there, i only go here to look&discuss suicide process

The recovery section is an off limit place for me that i stay away from, i just go to suicide discussion
Its like 2 opposite world to me that sometime seems odd to me, which one is the main purpose of this forum(im more into pro ctb and i dont understand the recovery section)

Nevertheless with opposite view to OP im capable to understand that OP is the opposite type. Some people might not be comfortable with suicide and has more empathy toward people

Also there are some people from teen to adult who ctb because of boredom or impulsive things and later regret it

Pro choice mean to let people have free choice/opinion/different perspective. I tend to just ignore if that doesnt bother me

So i dont understand why people being angry over 1 vent goodbye post by OP from her own experience

 

[Weary Soul]

Even an impulsive visitor is better off with good information and a successfull suicide than incomplete information and a botched suicide attempt. Hiding information won't stop anyone from attempting. In fact, an internet forum won't stop or force anyone from doing anything at all; we've been over this multiple times. People base their decisions on factors entirely unrelated. The forum only informs the decision.

I completely agree with what you said about ways to mitigate the horrific attempts that lead to botched attempts or permenant damage that may be ameliroated by having information to prevent such an outcome.

However, given the "heat" that this site has taken recently, making people wait a bit for this information might just be a protective measure against the many who would have it shut it down - even thought this information is readily available in other places on the net.

Also, it makes absolutely no sense to me that people are made to wait to PM others for a certain period of time; whereas, people have access to methods immediately. What is the harm in making people wait a certain period of time or having "x" number of posts first before access to methods?

My main concern is children who may see this site and read the methods here to end their lives - especially those who lurk.

Life can be a rollercoaster with ups and downs. And, it may just be me, but it has been my experience that life was so much more intense as a child than it has been for me as an adult - things that seemed to be life crises then are nothing more than an irritant now.

With respect to a child (and these are just examples - there are probably much better ways to exemplify this), consider the following:

Suppose a child impulsively commits suicide after a break-up using the information posted here. And yet, that same day, the person who broke up with them changed their mind and wanted to get back with them? This would be incredibly tragic for all involved.

Or suppose a child is being fed anti-depressants, where, in the first month or so they experience suicidal ideation (which is common with this class of meds and can be very insidious), and they commit suicide because of this, and yet, had they waited a month, their life might actually have gotten better?

Do you want to give children the "easier" means to commit suicide under these circumstances. Yes, they may commit suicide anyway; however, they may also wait a bit for fear of the pain they may suffer using other barbaric measures that were used before the "easier," information regarding methods became so readibly available. Look how many who post here fear the the methods that are actually listed here.

Please understand that I am very much for autonomy (I would say "pro-choice" but I do not like labels); however, my suggestion/comment was an attempt to prevent impulsive suicides in children who do not yet know that life can change on a dime. I completely understand those wanting to end their existance because life has become intolerable to live.

Personally, I think that suicide is a very serious matter and that if one desires to take their own life, this should be done after a good bit of thought and not on impulse. Because of this, I would not give out methods so easily. But, of course, this is just my opinion and by no means represents the opinions of anyone else here.

 

[noname223]

I joined this site about a year ago, I think. I came for resources and made friends. I was even virtually present for someone who took his life. I had no intention of being there, but there I was. It was hard, to say the least.
I am an older person and have struggled here with how many young people want to take their lives. As much as I respect the right to choose, I take issue with how easily support is offered here. I hold a firm belief now that support is offered too freely. Even flippantly, in some cases. I have resolved that I am not OK with this.
I attempted to be more of a "recovery" type of person, but that didn't last. Primarily because "recovery" is not so popular on this site. I would love to start my own "recovery" elsewhere. I have been around the block more than a few times and know that life is worth living. I am not being a "pro-lifer" (ha, god forbid), but I am being someone that encourages other options.
That said, SS, I am breaking up with you. You have introduced me to some amazing people, and I will be here long enough for them to connect with me if they so choose. And if you choose to approve this post, O Gods of the Mods. ;)
Otherwise, honestly, I think this site is unhealthy and have no desire to support it any longer. I am sorry to say this. But, other than a few exceptions, I have seen no evidence to the contrary.
Peace,
Lolo

I respect your decision. I can understand that you encourage the other options. I do it too. It must be pretty hard to lose someone to suicide when you are virually present.
I question myself too a lot. The problem is I guess suicide is strictly prohibited in the normal world. There needs a good balance. I am a big fan of assisted suicide but also it should be more easily available for mentally ill people. If the government would not force us to illegal actions in order to go peacefully. This all would not be that unregulated.
I don't find it good when people during their first depression without any treatment (in case this might solve the problem) ctb. But the truth is here are also a lot of people who tried almost everything to get better. Or the system has given up on them.
Wherelse shall I go. Every last 5 years I had a clinic stay. 2 psychologists have given up on me.

 

[Lorraine]

Noname223, I agree completely about assisted suicide. And about the "system". Mental illness is still so stigmatized that the stigma is killing people.

 

[checkouttime]

Also there are some people from teen to adult who ctb because of boredom or impulsive things and later regret it

How is it possible to regret something when you have CTB???

I'm perfectly fine with people having all kinds of opinions, but they should also be willing to have them challenged in a discussion. I haven't said anything inappropriate to @Jpd998 & I'm certainly not "unloading my emotional garbage" on them by defending the right of young people dealing with unbearable suffering to ctb

what happens is people write incorrect information or are clearly trying to scare others, they are challenged as to why they are doing this ( we know why) and then they claim to be getting attacked. some people clearly think they go under the radar and that people can't see what they are upto. I've seen it all before with that bipolarguy, absolutely full of shit and i could see through his bullshit., unfortunately some people can't and we all know how that ended.

were all paranoid, mental nut jobs who can't think straight. say the people that visit a suicide site and pretend to be someone there not

 

[Lorraine]

Weary Soul, I should have asked you to edit my original post. ;)
Well said.
I agree about the access to methods possibly being "restricted" rather than chat or messages. I also think a mod should be present for general chat as often as possible. I also realize they are not being paid to do this work, so that is not really a plausible option, I guess.
In addition, there should be a lengthier process in order to be approved to join, in the first place. Something that would "intimidate" minors from sneaking in or at least make it more difficult.
As for feeling that support is given too "freely", that is so individualized that it's likely not possible to change. Everyone is unique.
I appreciate your thoughtful response.

 

[Efilismislife]

How is it possible to regret something when you have CTB???

Not everyone who attempt to ctb/hurt themselves certainly die

You can read the news

 

[checkouttime]

That is oversimplifying, but I appreciate what you're saying.

oversimplifying? making things harder than they need to be you mean. because realisitcly it is very simple if you don't want to be somewhere that talks about suicide, you don't join. that is the choice that people have before they join, so don't join and then moan about it when it does exactly what it says on the tin, as that is unbelievably naive

Not everyone who attempt to ctb/hurt themselves certainly die

You can read the news

you didn't say that you said people ctb live to regret it. if you ctb you are dead!!!!!

 

[Efilismislife]

you didn't say that you said people ctb live to regret it. if you ctb you are dead!!!!!

Not everybody who try to CTB will guarantee to be dead.

There are people who attempt ctb but end up survive/still alive, even some people here.

Are you gonna accuse them all of lying too???

why are you so angry&hateful about anyway

 

[motel rooms]

you didn't say that you said people ctb live to regret it. if you ctb you are dead!!!!!

Not everybody who try to CTB will guarantee to be dead.

There's a difference between people who attempt to ctb & those who ctb. You're right - not everybody who attempts to ctb dies, but all those who ctb do

 

[checkouttime]

Not everybody who try to CTB will guarantee to be dead.

There are people who attempt ctb but end up survive/still alive, even some people here.

Are you gonna accuse them all of lying too???

why are you so angry&hateful about anyway

Oh sorry i'm angry and hateful because i questioned something you said which made no sense at all. Its not my fault your writing stupid comments, you said

there are some people from teen to adult who ctb because of boredom or impulsive things and later regret it

Its not my fault you wrote something that makes no sense whatsoever, why you so angry and hateful when someone points out your talking BS??????

There's a difference between people who attempt to ctb & those who ctb. You're right - not everybody who attempts to ctb dies, but all those who ctb do

Don't you question what they wrote, you must be an angry and hateful person you!

 

[Efilismislife]

@checkouttime so now you accused me of being stupid and talking BS? Also you accused me of other nonsense before as well

First of all, English isnt my first language but my third language. And its already hard for me to translate that despite my depressive brain issues.

But why attacking and insult me for such a trivial grammar issue??

Second,
"CTB" is only a term use here to substitute 'killing themselves'. Isnt it right if i say "He took SN(ctb) but survived"? instead of "He attempted to take SN" because he already took it(ctb).

Also why making such a big deal out of it? If you dont like my post you can just ignore it. I never insult you or bother you anyway

I thought the rules said

Be respectful.

Disrespect is not tolerated on the forum.

Do NOT:

Harass, bully, attack or insult other members.

Looks like some people show off themselves to be immune to the rule and free to stomp on whoever they want

Such a 'nice' respond to give on people on suicidal&depression forum

Its not my fault your writing stupid comments, you said

Its not my fault you wrote something that makes no sense whatsoever, why you so angry and hateful when someone points out your talking BS??????

Don't you question what they wrote, you must be an angry and hateful person you!

There's a difference between people who attempt to ctb & those who ctb. You're right - not everybody who attempts to ctb dies, but all those who ctb do