Venting BREAKING NEWS: Suicide forum goes down and weirdo almost kills himself because of it lmao

[NormallyNeurotic]

Man I never realized how damn lonely I am. SaSu goes kaput for some hours and suddenly reality hits me that I barely talk to the people I love in my life and I sleep 90% of the day. It's just so hard to reach out lately, and they're so busy that they don't have the time to be coddling my damn issues. On here it feels so much lower stakes.

It just hit me hard and suddenly I was spiralling, feeling that painful sickening suicidal ideation that you can't act on because you have no way to but FUCK do you want to. Like it's trying to crawl its way out of your skull and taking your brain with it. I literally messaged like all my friends, and one person I love sent a message with a damn "." at the end of it and I almost lost it. I had to pull myself back from the metaphorical ledge all because I'm autistic, paranoid, and narcissistic. I straight up nearly ended myself over PUNCTUATION. Good lord how pathetic.

Good thing I didn't, because I had totally misread the room. We're fine and he actually was so sweet after (I literally cried), not sure if it was because I have listed in my status that I'm really having issues or what.

Anyway.

TL;DR:
Sometimes I just wish I couldn't feel anything because emotions do shitty things like making you almost CTB over a temporarily down forum or a literal bit of punctuation. What the fuck just happened

 

[IncrediblePal]

I watched Phineas and Ferb during my free time today. It was quite nostalgic

 

[littlecutecorpse]

tbf, the forum being temporarily down got me to call my bf this morning to distract myself. had a good hour with him. but well, i only get to see him in the morning on weekdays. now that he's went to sleep, i'm back to being a lonely pos for the rest of the day. :,)

 

[MissAbyss]

Yah, refreshed the page like a thousand times!

 

[rozeske]

My date approaching already has me riddled with anxiety. This site being unaccessible was so not what I needed. This place is my only source of comfort.

 

[itsmyusername]

I was a bit shocked. I've been a long time lurker for like forever. Then 6 days ago I finally created an account. Today the site was down. I just couldn't believe it. Finally I create an account and then they stop existing??? I had so much regret, like why didn't I create an account earlier to get the most out of this site ???. It's a relief to see it back online.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I was a bit shocked. I've been a long time lurker for like forever. Then 6 days ago I finally created an account. Today the site was down. I just couldn't believe it. Finally I create an account and then they stop existing??? I had so much regret, like why didn't I create an account earlier to get the most out of this site ???. It's a relief to see it back online.

What bad timing holy shit

Yah, refreshed the page like a thousand times!

I even turned on a VPN to see if something was up with the USA connection. Not sure what I thought that would achieve...

My date approaching already has me riddled with anxiety. This site being unaccessible was so not what I needed. This place is my only source of comfort.

Good luck with your date!

 

[itsmyusername]

What bad timing holy shit

I even turned on a VPN to see if something was up with the USA connection. Not sure what I thought that would achieve...

Good luck with your date!

Haha same here. But the other way around. I turned on a VPN to set the location in the USA .

 

[somethingisntreal]

It's crazy how dependent I've become on this site I tried refreshing so many times, switching devices, using vpns, changing browsers it's insane! Unrelated but my SN got discovered and my plans are now ruined. This was the worst day of my life.

 

[disabledlife]

Personally, it felt empty to lose access to SaSu, a supportive community free from censorship and patronage. I thought the forum had disappeared. I searched for it on Google and everywhere else and was bombarded with ridiculous emergency numbers. Seeing all that, I thought of CTB because, despite everything, it's this forum that allows us to still live a little, knowing that we have the choice to CTB at any moment without being judged, whereas without that support, the urge to CTB is so strong that we could act on it at any moment (at least, that's how I felt).