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Venting brain optimism sucks.

cciro

cciro

girl (in development)
May 16, 2025
15
Dumb brain didn't stay numb. Managed to somehow have hope that things would be better. Things were bad for years, tried to ctb but chickened out. But then stuff got a little better. And I thought wow maybe It'll be okay in the future maybe all of this wasnt for nothing. Somehow managed to trick myself into believing everything would be better eventually but of course it isnt. Crashed back to reality a few months ago. Everything is worse everything hurts more can't wait to ctb. If I just stuck to thinking nothing would get better, still would've ctb eventually but at least it wouldn't hurt this much. Sigh. Going out on New Years hopefully if everything goes well. Maybe cliche or cringe but at least I will have made it to 2026. Better than I thought I'd do. Shame there was never a real chance for anything good.
 
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