Books and ressources to make peace with dying

[Have_a_nice_Life]

Hello everyone, i was wondering if you could recommend me some books about accepting death and stuff. I've been trough the pinned thread about it but there's a lot of stuff so what's your favorite one ?

I am currently suicidal and have bought SN and partially completed my EEBD hood kit but you know shit i feel guilty because sometimes i'm just scared .
Sometimes i truly feel "ready" and at peace with the idea but sometimes i'm filled with terror and dread as I know this is the only solution. Like i know this is hard overcoming SI and that we must go against our very nature to do it but i feel so fucking guilty for it .

Guilt is also a part of depression i guess i've been dealing with it with every kind of stuff so i shouldn't be that surprised lol. Guilty of feeling good sometimes pondering on if you are truly depressed, if you are faking it, if you are just too sensitive and actually it's not that bad, then it gets REALLY bad again but you forget everything all of a sudden the next time your brain happens to produce enough good neurotransmitters for you to feel good so you dismiss all of your past pain. Bruh, this is messy i'm sorry i guess i'm just venting.

Well anyway, I am sometimes SCARED of dying, scared of the nothingness, scared of missing out on a potentially good life (even though at this point even if my life gets better at some point the pain i'm feeling is just FUCKING umberable and I just want to put an end to this shit), scared of hurting the ones i love (yeah this one sucks i'm crying just by thinking about this, i really wish they're gonna find their peace and gonna be happy).

I know that a lot of us go trough this and are relying on impulse to overcome this but impulse is not reliable lol, but some people manage to truly be at peace and ready and is there some books to come to terms with death ?

Regards

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

1. . It's free to download. Ever deeper honesty book

Ever Deeper Honesty

How to reduce/prevent/eliminate suffering, and get ever-deeper freedom/peace/love/bliss, and “That”.

www.everdeeperhonesty.com

2. Thomas Liggotti's " the conspiracy against the human race"
3. Every cradle is a grave by Sarah Perry
4. Peter zapffe " the last Messiah"

5. Schopenhauer
6. Carlo Michelsteadter persuasion and Rhetoric

 

[Have_a_nice_Life]

1. Ever deeper honesty book

3. Thomas Liggotti's " the conspiracy against the human race"

thanks

 

[marchshift]

I've been reading Ram Dass books.
Walking Each Other Home: Conversations on Loving and Dying Dass, Ram; Bush, Mirabai

 

[SVEN]

40 years or so from when I first read it, Jonathan Livingston Seagull still kinda gives me an uplift when I read it. I think it would help whether you ctb or went into recovery.