Help i feel stupider

[100memoryleaks]

ever since my failed hanging attempt a couple days ago I feel like I got so much dumber and slower, like I'm having a harder time remembering things and I'm much more tired than before. i wonder if passing out from hanging actually caused any brain damage that I didn't notice immediately. I'm scared, I know I'm gonna try again but now it feels like my last days will just be torture. i hoped I could have at least had some happiness in my last days, but now it doesn't seem possible. it feels more like I have to succeed the second time, there is no way to back out. my purposeless existence is miserable.

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

Well that could certainly be possible considering your incident, but it could also just be paranoia no? I got ocd and I have thoughts like that all the time those exact thoughts actually and I pretty much just delude myself into thinking I somehow got stupider you wouldn't believe how convincing your mind can be if it's really trying. Like every little random mistake you would also make beforehand for other reasons in life like stress, lack of sleep etc is now recontextualized under "brain damage"
Regardless there's not much worrying can achieve should probably get good rest and relax and you could get better potentially

 

[DeadMeat123]

A lack of oxygen to the brain is no small thing. It's good that you didn't go into a coma and have your family search for you and find you because then the CTB would be much more difficult. If you can take time off work and try to relax it would be better because what you feel is real and it's very tiring for the body. I recommend cold compresses on the painful areas to make the pain ease
Also sometimes cords cause friction burns as in my case, so Mebo ointment is excellent for friction burns and cell regeneration Apply a thin layer 2-3 times a day. It has a strong smell (due to the sesame oil) but it's very effective in speeding up healing. Most importantly try to relax and isolate yourself a little to think seriously about what you'll do next and give your body some rest. I wish you the best.

 

[Kokonoe]

i've felt like this, too. countless failed attempts (mainly hanging) + prescription drug abuse and i feel like i really fucked myself up without realizing.
and i've always had issues with my legs but ever since i went messing that one time i've had next to no feeling in my legs since and it's like trying to move while waist deep in water when i try to move them, they're so heavy..idk if i really hurt myself somehow and gave myself some permanent issues or it was just always going to be like this anyways..
if anything these sorts of things make me want to doube down and ctb since i've already do so much damage anyways.

 

[100memoryleaks]

A lack of oxygen to the brain is no small thing. It's good that you didn't go into a coma and have your family search for you and find you because then the CTB would be much more difficult. If you can take time off work and try to relax it would be better because what you feel is real and it's very tiring for the body. I recommend cold compresses on the painful areas to make the pain ease
Also sometimes cords cause friction burns as in my case, so Mebo ointment is excellent for friction burns and cell regeneration Apply a thin layer 2-3 times a day. It has a strong smell (due to the sesame oil) but it's very effective in speeding up healing. Most importantly try to relax and isolate yourself a little to think seriously about what you'll do next and give your body some rest. I wish you the best.

i have the urge to just go and attempt tonight, even though i feel like i should wait until monday. my job isn't really that hard and even though i don't like being there and interacting with people it's still better than lying in my room all day doing nothing. idk if i will be scheduled to work on monday tho. i think starting then i will just keep attempting every night until i eventually succeed.