Games best lie you ever told

[wonderworld]

drop your best lie you've ever told to someone, eg you committed a crime and lied about not doing (bit dramatic but hey )

 

[Deleted member 1465]

My boss once broke into a development site we were doing an evaluation on. The security guard didn't turn up to let us in, so he broke in via a gap in the fence. I guess someone called the police.

My boss: "Don't worry, I'm an archaeologist."
Policeman (to me): "Do you know this gentleman?"
Me: "I'm sorry officer, I've never seen this man in my life..."

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I'm not much of the lying type. The biggest one I tell is when someone asks how I am and I reply with something like "I'm fine" or "I'm good."

 

[Lilacmoon]

After killing blue as Impostor in front of green...
Me, cyan: Hahahahaha!
Yellow: What happened?
Me: I saw Green kill blue right in front of me!
Green: What? No, you guys are being played.
Me: Trust me guys, I would never lie to you.

Green was not the Impostor.

Heheh.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Trust me guys, I would never lie to you.

When I hear that it's always a dead giveaway that they're lying to me. It's like when someone says "no offense but..." You just know they're about to offend the shit out of you

 

[Lilacmoon]

When I hear that it's always a dead giveaway that they're lying to me. It's like when someone says "no offense but..." You just know they're about to offend the shit out of you

My first lie of the night!

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

a bit depressing, but one night, i was sleeping in my mom's bed because my little sister couldn't get to sleep, and she wanted me to sleep with her. in the dark and silent room, my mom asked if i loved her. i said yeah.

fucked up to lie about such a thing, but what else could i say? admit that i'm incapable of loving people? i've been lying about that for a long, long time.

 

[Silenos]

I lied to my dad (and later the rest of my family) about how I broke my leg.

I wrote down the full story once. Here it is if you're interested:

Spoiler

When I was about 13 years old, my dad used to be captain on a river cruise ship in Europe, and would sometimes take me and my little brother along on a cruise.

One night we were going along a river in Germany with a lot of very low bridges which we passed under with sometimes only one or two meters to spare. My dad trusted us to be careful, and let us walk around on the top deck while he was driving the ship.

At some point we were approaching another one of these low bridges, and we ran towards the back of the 100m long ship. There we lay down on our backs with our feet towards the front of the ship. The bridge getting closer and closer.

Now the bridge was nearly over us, and we saw that the bottom of it was rough concrete. It was so low that we only had to stick out our legs to be able to touch it. My brother thought it a good idea to stick out a leg and let his foot scrape along the bottom of the bridge. I followed his example, but shortly after my foot got stuck. In a split second my lower leg was knocked back with such force it bent the wrong way at the knee and then back to normal again before I had any time to register what the fuck was going on.

Because my brother was slightly in front of me he did not witness the incident. So without looking back he took off towards the ship's bridge. I was in shock and couldn't believe what had happened, so I tried to stand up, but my leg wasn't working anymore. At that point I tried to yell for help, but I wasn't able to raise my voice at all. I had to crawl all the way back to the bridge on my own.

And that's how I broke my leg on holiday in Germany. Because of my shitty relationship with my dad and the pure shame I felt at the time I've never told him how it actually happened.

 

[puppy9]

I scammed my trash dad thousands of dollars when I'm at high school. I live large compared to my peers, most of my friends are bought (they want me to spent on em). There's some genuine one, and I'm grateful for that.

This happened just after the divorce. No regrets.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

I scammed my trash dad thousands of dollars when I'm at high school. I live large compared to my peers, most of my friends are bought (they want me to spent on em). There's some genuine one, and I'm grateful for that.

This happened just after the divorce. No regrets.

how'd you do that? surely he'd notice his own child scamming him...? but anyways, i'm seriously jealous of you. i wish i could do that to my own dad.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

My (other) old boss used to say:
"I hear what your saying..."
Which really meant:
"Technically, I can hear the words you are speaking, but I'm in no way interested in your opinion, I just want to say something to make it appear as if I am, then I can be seen to be approachable and you'll just do what I want anyway."
I often used to use the same phrase on him to confuse him.

 

[Lupgevif]

I have told many, many lies throughout my life. But I don't remember any specific one that feels big or important; they are all trivial things that wouldn't cause big harm if the truth was discovered.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I definitely feel like the greatest lies I've ever committed are the ones that paint me as a remotely decent person. It might be some edgy impostor syndrome thing but any amount of kindness and altruism that I do feels like a lie that betrays my true nature as an evil being.

 

[Symbiote]

"Donald Trump gonna win the election". Let's see if this fucks me up.

 

[puppy9]

how'd you do that? surely he'd notice his own child scamming him...? but anyways, i'm seriously jealous of you. i wish i could do that to my own dad.

The divorce was harsh. So I took advantage of that. This what happened when you demonize your ex husband/wife to your children. So it's like a competition whose the worst person and I'm the judge. But I know my dad is a useless trash, so I scammed him amidst the confusion they're facing. Now he knows I've scammed him, so when my name comes out on his mouth is "that boy only wants money from me, he's a dog". He's got urinal written on his face so I'm using the facilities as it should be. But the scam lasted throughout my high school days though. It's good while it lasted. It's hard, but when couples are having trouble, the children must be on neutral zone.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

I definitely feel like the greatest lies I've ever committed are the ones that paint me as a remotely decent person. It might be some edgy impostor syndrome thing but any amount of kindness and altruism that I do feels like a lie that betrays my true nature as an evil being.

i feel you on that one. whenever i pretend to be a good person, i almost end up laughing. i feel fake when i'm being "kind".

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

i feel you on that one. whenever i pretend to be a good person, i almost end up laughing. i feel fake when i'm being "kind".

Exactly, it feels like I'm setting up a big joke with no punchline...

 

[goodbyebunny]

Best? I don't know. I'll have to think about that. Here's a recent one though: I dropped all but one of my university courses this term, and my family and friends (mostly) all think I'm still taking a full time load. I can't bring myself to tell them I couldn't cut it, yet again. (Last semester I also took only one course). Feeling like I'm letting people down.

 

[Deafsn0w]

I purchased a MDB regulator using my debit card and it showed max dog brewing on my bank account details. My mom has access to my checking account, so she can see all my purchases. She checked my account and found the details about MDB. She asked me what it was for and I told her that I bought an iPad.

 

[Echo]

I once convinced my folks that my absences on my report card were my grades... and that there's been a huge mistake made and the printing had flipped the two into the wrong boxes... for the entirety of my classes in grade 12.
I had skipped class A LOT.
I got away with it too.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

I told a shrink straight deadpan that i treat my asthma with cigarettes. Said shrink did actually shrink into his chair, break out in a sweat, and unconsciously begin wheeling his chair toward the door.

A bit of gleeful malice, yes. I hate being treated as inferior.

 

[Grrax]

I once told a girl that I love her only hours after having sex with another girl. I still hate me for back then

 

[Panna]

The best one for me was a innocent thing as a kid. Since our home was far compared to others, it would always take a hour or so to get home after school. So one day I faked feeling sick and acting like I was going to throw up in order to get the bus to take us home first. It was good enough where the bus driver's favorite rider took one look at me and was like he's going to blow chunks. That was a good day.

 

[waived]

My gender.

 

[Aap]

Plot twist, what if the post itself is the lie?

 

[MichaelNomad123]

I conned one of my schoolyard friends out of his stash of valuable Japanese Pokemon cards for a limited edition holo-card of no significance that I bought at the local toy shop for 10 quid. It's okay though, he was an asshole and would regularly tease me about my dad not being around. Lets just say I "Robinhood-ed" him

 

[demuic]

"I'm okay"

 

[BPD Barbie]

That I'm happy. Everytime I say it to someone I laugh inside, biggest and most commonly told lie by me.

 

[Weary Soul]

I'm ok.

 

[Antigonish]

I love you too...
I love you more...
I appreciate you more...
I appreciate you too...

*I think you get the point, I just tell people what they want to here, or give them what they want from me.*