S
Sadbanana
God doesn't care
- Aug 20, 2024
- 262
I don't like the idea that I have no value. But as a male Asperger I was remained it over and over through my life.
For most of my life I have been treated like a ghost. It feels like I just don't deserve empathy or respect and nobody owes it to me. Yet other people give it to each other and when it comes to other people have similar problems suddenly it metters and a most people feel entilted to affection. But when it comes to me I should just wither and die, without bothering anyone.
It's not worth to live like this. And it's very difficult to straight to not despise NTs. The fact that most of them arr walking npcs unable to create their own independent thought doesn't make it easier to forgive them.
When I'm suicidal, maybe I'm much more rational than I think. Through others gaslighting, I learned that this level of suffering and loneliness is "normal" and I'm just being dramatic.
It's not, it's unbearable and majority of nts can't even comprehend how bad it is.
For most of my life I have been treated like a ghost. It feels like I just don't deserve empathy or respect and nobody owes it to me. Yet other people give it to each other and when it comes to other people have similar problems suddenly it metters and a most people feel entilted to affection. But when it comes to me I should just wither and die, without bothering anyone.
It's not worth to live like this. And it's very difficult to straight to not despise NTs. The fact that most of them arr walking npcs unable to create their own independent thought doesn't make it easier to forgive them.
When I'm suicidal, maybe I'm much more rational than I think. Through others gaslighting, I learned that this level of suffering and loneliness is "normal" and I'm just being dramatic.
It's not, it's unbearable and majority of nts can't even comprehend how bad it is.