At what age did you realize that life was not for you?

[Moon2023]

At what age did you realize that life was not for you? I probably understood this at the age of 7, when they brought me to school. I asked myself the question: "Why do I need this? For what? I did not choose to be born." I think I had these thoughts before, but I didn't realize it.

 

[drmihilo]

At 15. Then my father died. And I realized that life is mostly suffering, from which none of us is immune.

 

[LookAway]

26.

 

[Blackroom_57]

17

 

[GoForDeath]

I assume I was still in high school, I always thought that I'd probably kill myself by the time I turned 19.. Now a couple of years later and still alive.

 

[azad]

15. at 15 i figured out there is something severely wrong with my brain and it is not possible for me to survive. I denied that and went on. now at 23, life made me remember it and demands me to take action. feeling smart because now i understood my parents hid that from me till now.

 

[Challu]

Feels like attempt are what count, not an age of realization.. there will be people thay say they had these feeling at 10 years old, but had not means and willpower to kill themselves and largely didnt even think about it for years afterward, myself included.

Anyways, I'll still reply to the thread.
Age 15. I wanted to tell my sibling that I had suicidal thoughts but they thought I was "coming out" to them. they interuppted me and said, "i know. you're gay?" I was like, "huh, no wtf???"

Makes me laugh. Didn't think about killing myself again until age 20. And didn't plan to kill myself until this year.

Waiting on my antiemetic from inhouse

 

[orca87]

First around 16…

Now, at 36, clearer than ever

 

[redbathingduck]

Have been sure of it since I was 19 but already had a lot of thoughts like this since I was like 13, but was with ups and downs back then over the years so not consistently yet at the time

 

[chloramine]

The first time I ever wanted to die I was 10. By 11 or 12 it was constant.

 

[InductionStove]

Around 8-9, I spent most of my sad life at that point on the internet and was exposed to a lot of content. I really solidified these thoughts when I was just in primary school, and tried to kill myself. That first attempt resulted in not much, but at 12 years old to be at my worst mental state ever, to the point I begged people on omegle of all places to listen to me so I could just hear from ONE person that life was worth it, really shows how over life I was.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life has never been for me, I've certainly never wished to exist at all. The only thing that I'm meant for is to return to peaceful nonexistence where I can no longer experience anything. I never deserved to be burdened with something so awful as life, I only deserve the peace and comfort of eternal nothingness.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Aged 10 I was first suicidal. I think I've been a pessimist most of my life though.

 

[JJMaynard97]

For me I'd say it was when I was a college, so 17/18.

 

[hyzenthlay96]

4 or 5. Rip childhood.

 

[aimless_arrow]

I think it became clear to me when I was 15. There was no defining moment that triggered the thoughts. They had always been simmering under the surface ever since my father took off and I was assaulted by a family friend. Puberty probably made it worse.

 

[moochu_]

At what age did you realize that life was not for you? I probably understood this at the age of 7, when they brought me to school. I asked myself the question: "Why do I need this? For what? I did not choose to be born." I think I had these thoughts before, but I didn't realize it.

When I was 8. My family life was falling apart. My dad was becoming more physically abusive towards me and my mother. At some point as a 8 year old, I told my mom how I wished I could die and reincarnate as someone else's kid. That was when my mental health just slowly deteriorated.

 

[trist]

i starting debating it at 15 and unfortunately failed an attempt at 17 because it was kind of impulsive and not carefully researched.

 

[aubrey!]

Probably within the range of 9-11. Became sentient, family tensions rised, and you can imagine what creepy guys will do to a stupid kid on the internet.

 

[FallenStar]

I think at 14

 

[Conker]

Somewhere around 11-13 - God this world is so pathetic & boring now its insane. I understand why some choose to just fucking OD and get it over with.

 

[philmore444]

14

the world can be just so cruel, knowing all my friends are better off without me.

 

[županič]

At 13 was first time i started thinking about suicide. Then when i hit 20 i started to be suicidal every day.

 

[downndone2]

40 when I completely ruined my life

 

[Hikikomori1]

16.

 

[LadyAlastor]

I was honestly 12, lady suicide and I have been knowing eachother for a long time. Always waiting.

 

[strawberryjampan]

At what age did you realize that life was not for you? I probably understood this at the age of 7, when they brought me to school. I asked myself the question: "Why do I need this? For what? I did not choose to be born." I think I had these thoughts before, but I didn't realize it.

I've had suicidal ideation pretty much as far as I can remember. I remember being 10 and thinking I wanted to die and self harming and those thoughts have been present since, despite being raised in a good home.

 

[ctbgurl]

At what age did you realize that life was not for you? I probably understood this at the age of 7, when they brought me to school. I asked myself the question: "Why do I need this? For what? I did not choose to be born." I think I had these thoughts before, but I didn't realize it.

even as a younger child, suicide was always implanted in my mind. my first attempt was when i was around 7 (tried to hang myself on a doorknob with a belt), and was found by my mother. since then it's never left my mind. i have good reasoning for why i want to die, and always have.. even since that young of an age.

 

[plurkid]

After my mom abruptly divorced my step dad she picked me up as my step sister was trying to shield me from their fright, I never saw them again. The week following that id stay up at night and cry about it because they took on the role of father and sister flawlessly, something I loved deeply. I started entertaining the idea of suicide the following weeks and it only got worse as life went on. I was 12. I started with a feeling of hopelessness, joking with myself about when id kill myself, I was sure I'd do it before I turned 18 but I'm 25 and haven't yet. But I'm starting to make plans and look into methods so I think it's coming soon. Talking with my step sister/father one last time is on my bucket list. Losing them was the first of many losses in life but they're the one is want to start with the most, as if I hadn't lost them then maybe I'd be a different person today.

 

[Seve]

I think I was 16 or 17 when I realised that there wasn't much point to my existence. But I've had various ups and down along the way and despite two OD attempts I somehow got pulled back into this life. I'm 52 now and think daily about when it will finally come to an end. I can't wish it soon enough.