At what age did you realize that life was not for you?

[dp 14]

At 9, I thought that I wanted to just not be here anymore but it wasn't until 12 that I actively hated everything. i would go home, slam my door, cry, and sh. still kind of do that years later lol

 

[Hollowman]

I6 after a personality altering reaction to a medication and some illegal drugs, life's never been the same. I'm close to 50 now and I regret not doing it then.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

The day I realized that coping is not a way to live.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

13

That's when I realized how bad everything was, how nothing would get better and how bad things were up to that point. And I was right.

 

[starrvingstar]

maybe 14, not sure why.

 

[hag]

5. my first attempt.

 

[Source Energy]

11.
My childhood best friend started to be friends with other people, and eventually, we stopped being friends. Now to me, she was like my last safe space. And that's when I realized that I can't function like any other kid. I needed someone to be my friend and no one else's. I think that's when it hit me, that even if my teacher who abused me gets fired, even if I move away from home, I'll never be normal again.

I felt the same way about besties as a child. I wanted exclusivity, the same way I later wanted exclusivity in romance. And when I realized it is unrealistic, it left me so disappointed and seeing relationships as a waste of time. Not worth it. I now do not expect or need exclusive.friendships. One can enjoy multiple friendships and take something from each to grow as a person. In love, though...that doesn't work for me. So I chose singleness.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I was 7

 

[FullCircle]

Early 20s. I struggled with anxiety and depression as long as I can remember, but that was when I thought about ending it. Since then I've always had a hunch that's how I'll go. I'll break eventually.

 

[monstercatering]

When I was 16 at the beginning of Covid. Once I lost that urge to do things just because I should, my life slowly fell apart. While I still absent-mindedly think about me suddenly changing and having a good life, if I tell myself everyday that I'll try harder tomorrow, after 3 years it becomes easy to accept yourself as someone that should end their dawdling and self-pitying in an effective way.

 

[stareoffintospace]

There was always an underlying sadness I felt when I was 7-8 but I never knew what it was until it got worse.

 

[kernel_panic]

16, that's when I fully realized how corrupt and crazy this world is, mostly due to the pandemic. The future will only be worse.

 

[Viranamari]

I became depressed at the age of 9 but I only realise that life isn't for me at 10. After all these years, I still have a desire to CTB. I haven't attempted to do so yet since I don't have access to reliable or painless methods but if there was a chance, I would gladly CTB.

 

[hellispink]

I was eleven years old

 

[orca87]

40 when I completely ruined my life

36 here. I completely ruined my life, too.

There was something off with me all the time, I knew it. But absolutely realizing it was just about a few months ago

 

[Sammie_com.sanrio]

At 7

 

[pandora]

At what age did you realize that life was not for you? I probably understood this at the age of 7, when they brought me to school. I asked myself the question: "Why do I need this? For what? I did not choose to be born." I think I had these thoughts before, but I didn't realize it.

Fourth grade....so, age 9 or 10. I've known since then, with absolute certainty, that this life is not for me and I would eventually end it.


Multiple poorly planned attempts in middle school, then I learned how to play the game to some extent. Two more attempts in my early twenties.

Now I'm almost 50, and I feel certain my time is near. I've lived with this unwavering conviction for four decades, and I know it's almost over.

 

[Jaqen H'ghar]

15.

 

[seulgibeqr]

I was 12-13 when I realised that there is no point in being alive.

 

[Unattainable666]

I was about 8 years old. First time i tried I was 15 years old. My "mother" told the doctor I was nothing but a selfish, self-centered brat.

 

[charlotte_]

i don't remember when exactly, but at a really young age. i always felt like an alien in a human's society

 

[fallenangel444]

i think when i was 14 years old that was the first time i diagnosed with schizo and bipolar thats also the first time im doing my attempts but failed

 

[Darkover]

18 when i broke up with my gf and i realized they don't care about us really

 

[DarknessAndDespair]

At 9 years old when my grandfather was in the latest stages of his prostate cancer. Seeing that level of suffering made me wonder why humans were trapped in a body going through such hell. Why could not one leave the body and stop suffering. Well that's it, because the body is our primary prison.

 

[BrightAndDark]

At age 5, I told my cousin that I wished I were dead. "But wouldn't you miss your parents?" At one point, I told my mother that I wanted to jump out the window of our apartment (16th floor). She said that I probably wouldn't die but would have horrible pain all over my body, which scared me.

 

[Mäximum]

14

 

[Gonnerr]

Probably around 6 when I started elementary school. I realized how i didn't want to live in society and how it was brutal to be confronted with all the others kids, bullying, survival of the fittest and all that shit. I wish i would have stayed home with my parents all my life.

 

[Linda]

Mid teens. Since then I have considered life to be basically pointless, and would have preferred not to have been born. When I m getting less out of life them I am putting in, it will be time to go. However, as things have turned out, I have had a good life, and I have a great husband, so the balance has generally favored staying. But if my husbband dies before me, I will follow soon after.

 

[axxxu]

The age where teachers started to put me behind doors and yell at me to "focus" in class. The age where kids started to tease me by calling me ugly and then stick pins into my backpack. The age where my father left me and my mother started told me I was not her child anymore.

Life was never meant for me. I realized that when I was 10. When I was 10 I decided I'd fail school so that in the future I'd be able to ctb and be at peace. This is world is fucked up for doing that to a kid.

 

[cwsyf]

Somewhere around 12-14, I really don't think anything specific triggered it, just have always felt that way as long as I can remember. I'm about to turn 30 in a couple months and all that's happened over the past few years has just assured me over and over that leaving for good would be the right choice for me.