Discussion Are you on SS for method or to feel belong and get better?

[SunnyDay_NoSunshine]

as title says.

I am here mainly for improving my method and to give back to the source from where I learnt so much.

But I still have some slight (non zero) hope left. So interested in the recovery section too. Maybe my hope side of things can improve as well.

how about you?

 

[je.suis.prêt]

Was at one point here to kill myself. I did kind of come close; I bought the chemical. But ultimately I couldn't do it, and I am trying to recover. It's up and down at the moment, but I'm still (kind of) trying.

I cannot give anyone the full extent of my thought process because I feel they won't understand, or it will be too negative for them to handle, so being here kind of satisfies the need for a place where I feel understood.

I'm a little bit of a "loser" with few friends and no purpose in life, too :)

Still alive, still trying

 

[EternalShore]

I'm get happiness from others' unhappiness~ Just knowing I am not the only one who hates their life and was failed by everyone is a nice feeling :)

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I came here for methods only. I do post, but interacting with others wasn't and isn't my motive for being here.

 

[kråkevind]

I'm here to learn about other methods that don't involve making a big mess (shotgun slug to head) or hanging. Exit bag sounds peaceful.

 

[willitpass]

I came for methods, but at this point there is nothing left for me to learn. Now I'm just here for a safe place to share my feelings until my time comes. It's nice to be able to have a place to vent without repercussions. It's honestly probably helping me hold on for longer.

 

[tora]

as title says.

I am here mainly for improving my method and to give back to the source from where I learnt so much.

But I still have some slight (non zero) hope left. So interested in the recovery section too. Maybe my hope side of things can improve as well.

how about you?

a little bit of both for me. I know ctb is the way I'm going to die eventually, but I'm not ready yet. I'm constantly switching between trying to recover, and trying to make peace with death. I really want to keep living but the world keeps reminding me that I don't belong here.

 

[bellinda]

Joined because I wanted the methods, but currently focused on recovery.

 

[Faded_in_Dreams]

I came here for recovery.
I don't have much of suicidal thoughts anymore
So I guess I'm not gonna CTB and will live till my time comes.
But first I need to clean my mind so I can live properly.

 

[Al.ce]

I came for a method. While I enjoy interacting with others that can relate to the pain of being alive and that might want to get better, I'm not interested in recovering myself

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Initially came for a method but I keep flip flopping between suicidal and trying to live. I come here for community bc its hard to find space for suicidal thoughts and I can't pretend anymore.

I've never had the luxury to relax and just do nothing.... but aside from dying thats all I wanna do these days. Im tired of life rn. I have too many responsibilities and not enough support and too many health issues. I don't feel like I can do much anymore tbh. I don't feel like anyone in my life understand the amount of pressure I live with. Which I'm glad they don't personally understand but it gets a bit... isolating sometimes... it's hard to explain. I've been sending words from my posts from here bc I find it's easier to explain here...

I feel like im not gonna be able to CTB but I don't feel like I can live either. I'm so confused on wtf to do.

So I feel pressure to kill myself bc doing nothing in my kinda life requires a lot of maintenance after. It'll take me a long time to pick everything back up and that in and of itself makes it really hard to relax... fills me with so much anxiety.



I dunno what to do. I'd like to live but I no longer see a how anymore. I want to die but I've never seen a tangible how. The only way to die is to force myself within a method and I dunno if I can do that.

Haaa I'm sick of this life.

 

[enditall222]

Mainly coming here for methods, but its also not a bad place to vent

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I came here out of curiosity, honestly. I already had a couple of avenues to explore regarding methods before I even knew this site existed, and I didn't think I'd stick around for long when I first made my account. I keep coming back because I like the community, and because every now and then I find threads where I feel like I can reply and share something beneficial with some of y'all. I've had some very positive interactions with people here, and I hope I'm able to contribute a tiny bit whenever I respond to a thread—make someone feel understood, offering a different perspective, whatever.

 

[Redhat83]

both I think there's something very calming about this site like you know its wrong but it feels so welcoming

 

[psp3000]

all three (and also out of curiosity)
I want to see where things go and exhaust my options (various things to recover and get better) and try to keep going and if things don't go as planned it is what it is although I am somewhat afraid of death and the afterlife

everyone here that I've interacted with here is so nice and lovely as well although the thought of joining and interacting with people here was intimidating and they are honest about feelings and emotions when it comes to the topic of mental health and suicide and I admire that a lot and reading everyone's posts gives me a sense of belonging because it confirms that my feelings and experiences are not unique

sorry if what I typed doesn't make any sense ':|

 

[Dead Ghost]

I'm here because I like being surrounded by you, since I can express what I feel without fear of rejection. On the other hand, I don't want methods to do the CTB and I don't think I can ever recover.. I'm like waiting for things to follow their natural order.

//

Sóc aquí perquè m'agrada estar envoltat de vosaltres, ja que puc expressar el que sento sense por al rebuig. D'altre banda no vull métodes per fer el CTB ni crec que pugui recuperar-me mai més.. estic com a l'espera de que les coses segueixin el seu ordre natural.

 

[MeltingBrain]

Methods + Relief (Not to be confused with recovery)

 

[UsagiDrop]

At first I joined out of curiosity and admiration for the community fostered here, I did enjoy interacting with others mostly on this side of the forum and I didn't really have any intentions for my life. But I did join at a particularly rough moment mentally, and things don't seem to be looking up despite the few good things that happened recently and are keeping me afloat, so instead of interacting with others and having no intentions, I started to plan again. I already had a method in mind for years but now I wanna make sure it actually works if push comes to shove.

I think the poster above me who said they are here for "relief" is a really good way to put it. It is a relief to come here and know that I'm not alone, since it can get a little isolating in real life. But I don't know if I want to recover anymore, I realized that I was mostly "in recovery" to learn how to mask anyway.

 

[MACK_SIS_KOOL]

Neither. I just wanna help the fools that think CTB is their only option left.

 

[beige_wasteland]

I don't think I will ever actually CTB, but I'm at a point where I don't think recovery is possible for me either. Sometimes I still try to read or try recovery type stuff but it usually makes me feel worse because it never works for me. It actually helps to be here a little because I don't have to pretend I'm ok and be fake like I have to with everyone IRL.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Initially, it was to find methods but I'm likely stuck here while I wait for my Dad to pass first. Can't say I'm looking to recover. More just tread water as best I can and I love this place for being able to talk freely about stuff.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I found SaSu in a moment of total desperation with no hope left for anything anymore. I didn't search for methods in particular but I searched whether there are other people out there who also have unsolvable problems like me. And I'm glad that I'm obviously not alone!! I would say SaSu kept me a little bit alive since I joined! It's such a great refuge for so many people who have nobody to talk to when it comes to their real problems without being judged including myself.

I could learn a lot about methods I didn't know before and also other stuff and I'm happy to give sth back to the community.

 

[woh6]

Came because I was curious. I now pretty much know all the methods available, I stayed because it's a nice way to pass time in a space with people who understand me. Sadly suicide can't be discussed so openly on other platforms, or IRL.

 

[sensenmann]

Both, got my ctb method ready cuz it brings me comfort aswell as browsing this forum.

 

[enough of this]

I'll take either. I would prefer to be around for a while, if there's something to be around for.
That's what's been hard to find.

 

[Readytogo246]

I learn a lot about the methods and also appreciate the support

 

[idlegirl]

came for the methods, stayed for the people

it's refreshing to be able to vent about suicidal ideation without either, a) people patronising you saying that sounds so hard have a bath and look after yourself or b) people saying DONT DO ITTTT YOU HAVE VALUE PLSSSS LIVE!!!!

sometimes i just want to talk about my thoughts with people who understand!

 

[Rocinante]

Came here to cope through venting. Already have methods to CTB.
Stay here because I like the forum members

 

[TheRedHare]

I came here because I want to talk to people who are being honest and somewhat vulnerable, there is a lot to learn about life in spaces such as these. I have no plan to ctb personally, but I've been through some times where I did often fantasize. I think it's therapeutic for me to spend time in a space where I can share my deepest thoughts and read the true thoughts of others.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

I don't know. I was drawn here because of the lack of censorship. I kinda want to die but it's not like...urgent, y'know? It's a backup plan, more than anything. I do enjoy the recovery threads, though.