Are you lonely? Why?

[migimortis]

I have no friends IRL or online. I don't speak to anyone outside of sasu, not even family. I don't have a partner, and never have. My entire social life, is posting on a suicide forum about how much I want to kill myself. If I died, no one would be at my funeral. I'm lonely because somehow, despite living on a planet with billions of people, I still struggle to make a single friend. I feel lonely because I know that ultimately, nobody cares whether I live or die. I feel lonely because I truly am alone.

Are you lonely? Why?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

no :p or maybe not really* is more accurate.

i have had no friends irl/online, or been in a relationship, for basically my entire life. from 15-22. after the 2nd or 3rd year i stopped yearning for human connection & intimacy, & it never came back. the isolation's made me see that 99.9% of ppl are neither interesting nor worth it, in any way. every time ive had the displeasure of meeting/encountering/talking w some1, they prove me right & further cement this belief.

 

[migimortis]

no :p or maybe not really* is more accurate.

i have had no friends irl/online, or been in a relationship, for basically my entire life. from 15-22. after the 2nd or 3rd year i stopped yearning for human connection & intimacy, & it's never came back. the isolation's made me see that 99.9% of ppl are neither interesting nor worth it, in any way. every time ive had the displeasure of meeting/encountering/talking w some1, they prove me right & further cement this belief.

Have you really stopped yearning or have you just given up?

I've spent many years alone as a hiki. I didn't care at first, but as time went on... the isolation has given me cabin fever. It makes me think, is there fulfillment on the other side? The buddha reached enlightenment, but he was born a prince, he even had a child, he got to experience everything before finally being able to let it all go. I've experienced nothing. I'm surrounded by people, but my life is spent mostly talking to myself, even on this forum. I feel like a ghost. I see people laughing and having fun together, why can't I experience that? Is it just FOMO that I'm feeling? I don't know.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Have you really stopped yearning or have you just given up?

I've spent many years alone as a hiki. I didn't care at first, but as time went on... the isolation has given me cabin fever. It makes me think, is there fulfillment on the other side? The buddha reached enlightenment, but he was born a prince, he even had a child, he got to experience everything before finally being able to let it all go. I've experienced nothing. I'm surrounded by people, but my life is spent mostly talking to myself, even on this forum. I feel like a ghost. I see people laughing and having fun together, why can't I experience that? Is it just FOMO that I'm feeling? I don't know.

i think stopped yearning & giving up are synonymous. i changed my answer to not really bc i do still have times where i'll wish i could get a hug or cuddle w some1, but it doesn't really feel accurate to describe it as loneliness. it's a brief fleeting wish that's immediately dispelled by remembering i've never had that & i never will. & i've tried.

i'm sorry u feel lonely, i wish i had something useful or helpful to say :// it'll always be mind boggling to me that there are so many ppl on Earth & none of them are for/like me.

 

[migimortis]

i think stopped yearning & giving up are synonymous. i changed my answer to not really bc i do still have times where i'll wish i could get a hug or cuddle w some1, but it doesn't really feel accurate to describe it as loneliness. it's a brief fleeting wish that's immediately dispelled by remembering i've never had that & i never will. & i've tried.

i'm sorry u feel lonely, i wish i had something useful or helpful to say :// it'll always be mind boggling to me that there are so many ppl on Earth & none of them are for/like me.

"i think stopped yearning & giving up are synonymous. i changed my answer to not really bc i do still have times where i'll wish i could get a hug or cuddle w some1, but it doesn't really feel accurate to describe it as loneliness. it's a brief fleeting wish that's immediately dispelled by remembering i've never had that & i never will."

In that case I feel the same way. I've accepted that I will always be alone but I still feel pain whenever I think about it. It just saddens me that I'll never experience any of that. It's like being a poor kid passing a high end store, it's all out of reach. My social life is nothing more than a suicide forum. Even if I make friends, they'll kill themselves anyways. I can't help but feel sadness.

 

[Banan321]

I definitely can relate to the fear of missing out, I'm in college and I see people laughing and having fun at campus while I have no friends. I hate people, yet I yearn human connection. I just think it has to do with most people being assholes. I would love a kind, genuine relationship, filled with love, but its like finding a unicorn, I'll be dead before then.

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

Yes. I have no friends (online/offline) or family. I'm a human being, yet being so alone makes me feel much less so.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I would say that I feel alone but not lonely, I don't wish to be around other people and never really have done but I certainly feel alone in this cruel and futile existence as I'm the only one trapped with my own thoughts. And anyway I believe it's for the best to be alone as other people cannot be trusted and relied on, others can very easily just create more suffering.

 

[sammiechzxv]

Yeah I guess. I don't have the energy to maintain relationships.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

No, I'm not lonely. I hate people. I hate being around them. I've just never been a people person. Sure, I've dated, been married, have kids, but now kids are grown and gone, marriage fell apart, and been by myself since.

I've had people tell me that being lonely is what triggers my depression and anxiety. It's fun looking at their faces when I say, "No, it's being around people that trigger my anxiety and causes me to go into depression."

 

[Rapière]

Yes. I'm too autistic and socially inept to form bonds with anyone. It's impossible for me to communicate myself to others in a meaningful manner. I can't express even the most basic emotions (relief, pain, anger, gratitude,...) without coming off as weird or disingenuous. Every social interaction wears me down because I always have to think about wether I said something wrong or inappropriate.

It's funny that you mentioned Buddha, because I thought about the exact same thing before: telling your desciples to seek refuge within themselves and abandon all worldly desires is easy when you've already experienced the fulfillment of every desire knowm to man and always have a social circle to fall back on. Like a rich person telling you that money can't buy happines... I'd like to find that out for myself, thank you.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I am. I wish I could find my soulmate.
A deep romantic relationship that keeps growing and evolving instead of withering away.
But I guess that most people don't find one.

 

[Fractal]

No, I'm not lonely. I hate people. I hate being around them. I've just never been a people person. Sure, I've dated, been married, have kids, but now kids are grown and gone, marriage fell apart, and been by myself since.

I've had people tell me that being lonely is what triggers my depression and anxiety. It's fun looking at their faces when I say, "No, it's being around people that trigger my anxiety and causes me to go into depression."

Hey still can't do you for some reason. Completely agree with the post though.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

Hey still can't do you for some reason. Completely agree with the post though.

Not sure. I click on your profile and no DM box popped up.

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

I am. I wish I could find my soulmate.
A deep romantic relationship that keeps growing and evolving instead of withering away.
But I guess that most people don't find one.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you think that's not possible for you?

 

[Fractal]

Not sure. I click on your profile and no DM box popped up.

Does it happen on anyone else's profile that you click on? If it's on your end you can click on the top left 3 lines and then click on the person icon. Then there may be an option in preferences or privacy that you don't have selected. Does anyone in here know how to activate DMs or an option that may be unselected?

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

If you don't mind me asking, why do you think that's not possible for you?

I tried when I was younger and it didn't work out.
I think your chances are getting slimmer as you age. I also have more emotional and mental baggage

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

I tried when I was younger and it didn't work out.
I think your chances are getting slimmer as you age. I also have more emotional and mental baggage

I also had an experience when I was younger, a beautiful one, but ended in disaster. I don't think I'll ever experience that feeling again.

And that's true, as you get older, it does become harder, unfortunately.

Thanks for the response.

 

[SCDLKD]

I'm lonely and almost alone at this moment of my life. For the majority of it I used to be a bit popular but I always felt lonely, I never felt any kind of connection with nobody before. I always felt like there was something wrong with me or some shit like that.
Anyways, I got used to this feeling to the point where I started to like being alone, so it's not that much of a burden for me now.
I don't mind dealing with my lows by myself, I think that's pretty natural as human beings.
But I think the real problem with loneliness begins at your best moments, knowing that you don't have anyone to truly share your "victories" with, this is when shit hits me the worst imo.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

Does it happen on anyone else's profile that you click on? If it's on your end you can click on the top left 3 lines and then click on the person icon. Then there may be an option in preferences or privacy that you don't have selected. Does anyone in here know how to activate DMs or an option that may be unselected?

I clicked on a few other users and no box pops up. I checked my privacy section and it says I am able to receive messages from members.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm lonely because of how undeserving I am. I have a contrarian nature which causes me to constantly want to see the other side of things even for things I completely agree with. I also have a very avoidant personality and people always lead to conflict it seems.

 

[greebo6]

Very lonely. It hurts very much right now. Its been getting even worse lately too.
I also know situation won't ever change and that's a horrible feeling to carry around forever.
One more reason to CTB.

 

[spring vainglory]

despite everything, i'm still so lonely somehow. i'm an extrovert though. im not ungrateful, but maybe i just need a lot of attention. sometimes growing up i would feel extremely lonely because i would see how close people were and i didnt have that since i was moving away every year. at some point as a young adult i did attain not loneliness, but that was rather short lived and ended when the friend group disbanded. ive cut off my entire family except for my brother, we love each other but we dont have a connection.

now i have a partner who i have a deep connection but we're long distance and he's an extremely busy person. only see each other every 1.5 months, when we're apart we exchange texts like twice a day, we call maybe 2 or 3 times a week. im extremely emotionally dependent on him though, he is the only person on this planet who i have a true connection with. he's my religion at this point. and i'm only alive because i love him so much i dont want to lose him, even if it's to sweet death. so the lack of communication really feels like a roller coaster of loneliness. when we're together i dont need anyone else in the world, and when we're apart i feel like i'm the only person in the world.

i have many many friends due to being a social butterfly, but none of them care about me that much it seems. i'd say only two of them ever actually reach out to me first. usually to go hang out after i post something vaguely suicidal on my instagram story lol, but it still means something i guess. nobody else ever initiates contact with me, i'm always the one who tries and tries and thinks of everyone else. when i go to anime conventions everyone knows my name, more people than i could ever remember, but none of them actually want to know me.

its like a tease. i have so so many friends and i see how much love they all have in their lives coming from their own friends who chose each other over and over again, and i never ever get to be a part of that or have a piece of it. i want that.
even online, my bf and my crush(im poly) have these friend groups online that always include them and hit them up and want to talk to them, and i have no one like that online. i just want more than one person to think of me even when im not reminding them about my immense despair. if my one person wasn't so busy or far away, then i'd probably be okay. i wouldn't need anyone else in the world.

 

[Fractal]

I clicked on a few other users and no box pops up. I checked my privacy section and it says I am able to receive messages from members.

I'm not sure then.

I'm not sure then.

I clicked on a few other users and no box pops up. I checked my privacy section and it says I am able to receive messages from members.

It says your profile is private, so maybe that's why?

 

[Silent Raindrops]

I'm not sure then.


It says your profile is private, so maybe that's why?

Just changed privacy thing to members only, and still nothing. Wonder if maybe I need to be here a few days first?

 

[mediocre]

I have autism and I've been socially isolated my whole life.. but especially the past 10 years.
I've never had a real friend in real life.
my mother is the only person in my life that I see regularly and she is the only person in my phone
But I know she sees me as a burden.
I wish I had more people I could rely on like close friends and family that look out for me and cared about me.

 

[Kit1]

Just changed privacy thing to members only, and still nothing. Wonder if maybe I need to be here a few days first?

I thjnk you do need to be here for a while and have posted a certain number of posts and then you will be able to DM others.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

I thjnk you do need to be here for a while and have posted a certain number of posts and then you will be able to DM others.

Ok, thank you!

 

[Kit1]

It has been heartbreaking reading about how loneliness is affecting people and I actually feel so fake being here after reading all the comments above. Research indicates that loneliness is more dangerous than certain addictions, lack of sleep etc. I am autistic, have complex PTSD and a number of challenges including facing suicidal ideation including taking overdoses etc whist dissociated. However also lucky and privileged to be working, have a lovely family, volunteering and a group of friends - I struggle to be with people for long periods of time and I always feel extremely lonely. This is because I am seen as being an efficient, full functioning person to the world out there and the people I have reached out to for support with my complex issues (doctors, mental health team etc) have consistently managed to isolate me to the point that I no longer use the NHS service. So my understanding of the world is that I can never show the real me as the help.is not there (cannot afford private therapy or private treatment) and people only want to see the person whomis good at masking and hiding her challenges. It is probablybthis loneliness that will end my life.

 

[Final_Choice]

I'm very lonely. I have some friends irl but they have their own lives and I still feel lonely when I am with them because I see them with their own friends and relationships, going to events and parties I wasn't invited to, etc. I have an online friend but we're both busy so we usually only talk a couple times a week. Wish I had more connections of different types and wasn't as lonely.