Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,875
Resoundingly, yes. The issue is that dying takes work and is in fact very difficult, mainly due to pain. Hence we need voluntary euthanasia ASAP.
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GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,726
The title is so provocative and goading, I have to put this thread on ignore since it just won't die -- how ironic.
XYZ
I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
- Jul 22, 2020
- 800
"Everyone I've asked this is still alive"
That's because you're not asking the right people
You should be askig those who aren't alive
That's because you're not asking the right people
You should be askig those who aren't alive
No I'm not ready to die. I WANT to live. I have 2 people im trying so so hard to stick around for. However I have been suicidal most of my life due to very bad circumstances and things that happened to me. I keeping trying and trying to find a way to live a life I can accept...it's just not going as I had hoped. It's hard to ctb... Probably the hardest decision one would ever have to make. There is absolutely nothing wrong with people who stick around on website for months or years..where else will people like me and others be accepted in life? This is our safe space to vent and be understood.
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CarbonMonoxide
Marejeo ni ngamani
- Oct 13, 2019
- 371
It might be the only real refuge for people like us who have to deal with this painful reality, everyone is dying but some need the death more than most. However, the body is incredibly resistant and the will is not easy to build up. I think ss allows us to soldier on for some time until we rack up the courage to do what must be done.
muffin222
Enlightened
- Mar 31, 2020
- 1,187
No. I doubt I'll ever actually commit suicide at this point. No matter how low I sink into despair, depression, or anguish, I've found that with the passage of time or by taking certain actions, my mood inevitably shifts. Emotions are continuously in a state of flux. The shift may be incredibly small or subtle depending on the depth of my pain and sorrow, but time and time again, my mood inevitably changes. Therefore, I've found I can no longer "lie" to myself that suicide is the only way out because nothing will change. Emotions always change eventually...it's just a matter of enduring the pain until it passes. It comes back, of course, but it always passes as well, leaving moments of relative calm in between "episodes". Now that I've recognized this, the "illusion" that the pain is unbearable and escape is the only choice is broken.
This is just my personal situation, though. Everyone is different. I stay on the site for the unique atmosphere of being able to discuss suicidal thoughts freely
This is just my personal situation, though. Everyone is different. I stay on the site for the unique atmosphere of being able to discuss suicidal thoughts freely
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134340
Student
- Aug 23, 2019
- 164
I don't really want to die, I just know things won't improve and am not willing to live this way for an unknown number of years. If all the meds and therapies worked for me, I would've graduated college this year, not solidified my plans for ending my life. So no, I'm not ready to die. I'm ready for this life to end, but I wish every day that I could fix this without dying.
krsu
999
- Jun 10, 2020
- 210
exactly. the title of the thread sounds like he is shaming people here for not doing it lol
I'm ready as I'll ever be. For me there's no fear of death it's all part of life's cycle. I can't try anything yet as the life insurance won't pay out.
After being through so much physical pain that I know I will have to go through again that's a fight I can't win anymore. Arthritis is such a horrible thing to go through.
So yeah a couple of years and I'll call time on my life. In the meantime if I die because of some accident I'll have no regrets.
After being through so much physical pain that I know I will have to go through again that's a fight I can't win anymore. Arthritis is such a horrible thing to go through.
So yeah a couple of years and I'll call time on my life. In the meantime if I die because of some accident I'll have no regrets.
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one.way.out
Student
- Jul 9, 2021
- 135
No. The feeling of "readiness" comes and goes. Right now I'm clinging on, but also collecting the things I need to hang myself. It's a toughie.
I'm still scared about what it will feel like, what will happen, if there will be cosmic consequences.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,293
I have made my decision that I will ctb eventually no matter what. The life expectancy is too long and I do not want to reach an old age. I am tired of my existence, it is like I have already died. I am ready for non existence. The reason why I am still here is because of the SI and the fact that we lack a right to die. I would be already gone if it was not this difficult.
WaterHemlock
Student
- Dec 18, 2019
- 112
I think that this website is like the release valve on a pressure cooker.
Ready, but then I come to this site when I'm thinking about it or planning it. I connect a little, vent a little, take a breath. And I live another day.
Because the fact is, I don't know why I'm here or what comes after, I'm just trying to do the best I can, and hopefully leave more joy than pain behind.
Ready, but then I come to this site when I'm thinking about it or planning it. I connect a little, vent a little, take a breath. And I live another day.
Because the fact is, I don't know why I'm here or what comes after, I'm just trying to do the best I can, and hopefully leave more joy than pain behind.
Snake of Eden
“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
- Jun 22, 2021
- 2,473
I'm also afraid of drinking the potion or what have you and regretting it immediately. I don't want to live but I don't want to face any consequences for dying. I more so just want to not exist, not hurt, not be a wretched, neurotic failure.
Snake of Eden
“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
- Jun 22, 2021
- 2,473
I know. Even passing in sleep with N dont negate the fact that we may end up feeling what it is like to die. I cant get over the consequences it will do either. Death is frightening
Not yet, that is why I have set a relatively distant date for CTB (5/5/2022) to be able to prepare everything well and be able to accept the end. And even so I think I will not be able to do it, because you want to or not the idea of dying is terrifying and we are made to want to survive above all else. In addition to the fact that I have loved ones that I would be very sorry to abandon and there are still things that I enjoy in life.
rosie93
Student
- Aug 28, 2021
- 152
I am. I've made sure there's nothing holding me back. Everyone is going to be better without me so it's a win win.
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Grav
Elementalist
- Jul 26, 2020
- 817
I'm ready, it just "clicked in" about a month ago, but not ready to ctb. I've lived long enough to have an idea of what future years bring and I've seen enough. For various reasons I'm not ready to ctb yet though.
Yup! Just awaiting a friend 
I'll be gone before the year comes to an end
I'll be gone before the year comes to an end
AntHydra
I wish you serenity.
- Sep 26, 2021
- 244
I'm ready in a sense. If there was an easy and safe method to do it in my hands right now, then I would no doubt do it.
But I don't have a safe and foolproof method yet, I still have to experiment and try things out a lot, and that is what I am currently doing. Once I actually figure it out, I'm a goner.
There's also another factor: Despite how much I may want to go, at any given moment, the desperation isn't enough to drive me over the edge to do it with a method that is a little more risky and not as easy. I don't have enough violence in me to ignore the discomfort of a non-ideal method for long enough. The one time I almost succeeded was when I was physically and mentally very exhausted and I haven't tried in a similar mental state since then. So yeah.
But I don't have a safe and foolproof method yet, I still have to experiment and try things out a lot, and that is what I am currently doing. Once I actually figure it out, I'm a goner.
There's also another factor: Despite how much I may want to go, at any given moment, the desperation isn't enough to drive me over the edge to do it with a method that is a little more risky and not as easy. I don't have enough violence in me to ignore the discomfort of a non-ideal method for long enough. The one time I almost succeeded was when I was physically and mentally very exhausted and I haven't tried in a similar mental state since then. So yeah.
Means obtained. Finishing work and then I'm ready to end my pain then. I don't want to be revived...
orangepotato
Student
- Mar 26, 2020
- 148
15 years ago I wanted to die just as badly as I do now, and I was stalking alt.holiday.suicide . Any old farts remember ASH? Literally the only reason I'm alive is that I keep procrastinating. I procrastinate everything
OnlyTheWind
Serena / Meatball head
- Aug 29, 2020
- 962
Mentally, I am ready. Circumstantially, I still have a ton of stuff to take care of to make my exit as graceful as possible.
Laddydragon
Member
- May 16, 2021
- 27
I think I am bit I worry that I'll burn in hell forever despite not being religious anymore
clown_17
Almost gone, it almost worked
- Oct 24, 2020
- 288
This exactly. I don't know if I'll ever be ready but the longing to ctb is so strong.I've been utterly convinced I wouldn't survive to x date and then eventually with enough failed attempts new traumas i reach that day and start planning for the next I won't survive to. With each failed attempt I gain a new trauma that makes it harder for me to overcome SI next time. I can't ever forget the feeling of being in an ambulance
