F
Forever Sleep
Earned it we have...
- May 4, 2022
- 9,829
To put it into context, I'm pretty sure I grew up with a narcissist. They are the primary reason I first had suicidal thoughts. For many years and honestly- even now, I find it hard to even really view them as a person with a history. I think- sometimes someone's actions are so vicious and hurtful- you don't really see why you should do them the courtesy of wondering why they behave/d like they do/did. Especially when it comes to excusing them.
How about you? For people who have been bullied or abused- do you ever wonder why that person became like that? If they reacted that way out of trauma in their own lives? Do you ever try to forgive or even pity them?
I'm not really sure it's about forgiveness as such- for me anyhow. I don't think it's that I do or don't recognise allowances for how they were- I'm not entirely sure for one. I don't feel the need to have this person in my life anymore (thankfully) so, I guess I don't feel the need to feel very much towards them at all. I certainly think they're toxic though- and best avoided at all costs.
Still- I guess I do wonder sometimes what it's like to be them. Did they truly believe their own lies? Are they still lieing now about things? Are they still abusing people now? Even though they may pretend to be super successful and happy- are they really? It can't be fun walking around with so much hate inside. In my case- this person used to play the victim all the time. Do they really believe that they are a victim? In which case- that can't be all that fun either.
What are your experiences though? I know quite a few members here feel like they have narcissistic parents. That has to be a whole lot more complicated. It was actually reasonably straight forward for me to be able to cut this person out of my life. (I'm sure they're just as grateful for that- they hated my guts. Although- if I'm right and they really were/are a narcissist- I wonder if they ever found someone as suitable to pick on. I must have unknowingly given so much emotional response to them.) I imagine with a parent though- it's much harder to do that. I'm guessing there does have to be more in the way of figuring out why they're behaving like they are. Almost to try and not take it personally maybe.
How about you? For people who have been bullied or abused- do you ever wonder why that person became like that? If they reacted that way out of trauma in their own lives? Do you ever try to forgive or even pity them?
I'm not really sure it's about forgiveness as such- for me anyhow. I don't think it's that I do or don't recognise allowances for how they were- I'm not entirely sure for one. I don't feel the need to have this person in my life anymore (thankfully) so, I guess I don't feel the need to feel very much towards them at all. I certainly think they're toxic though- and best avoided at all costs.
Still- I guess I do wonder sometimes what it's like to be them. Did they truly believe their own lies? Are they still lieing now about things? Are they still abusing people now? Even though they may pretend to be super successful and happy- are they really? It can't be fun walking around with so much hate inside. In my case- this person used to play the victim all the time. Do they really believe that they are a victim? In which case- that can't be all that fun either.
What are your experiences though? I know quite a few members here feel like they have narcissistic parents. That has to be a whole lot more complicated. It was actually reasonably straight forward for me to be able to cut this person out of my life. (I'm sure they're just as grateful for that- they hated my guts. Although- if I'm right and they really were/are a narcissist- I wonder if they ever found someone as suitable to pick on. I must have unknowingly given so much emotional response to them.) I imagine with a parent though- it's much harder to do that. I'm guessing there does have to be more in the way of figuring out why they're behaving like they are. Almost to try and not take it personally maybe.