Are you 100% sure you're going to ctb?

[I screwed up too bad]

I'm not sure at all. I had a really good life up until about May. I made some decisions that turned out poorly. I lost so many things I care about. I've always been really positive. I want to turn it around, but I don't know if it's possible.

 

[Berndje]

Yes i really need to kill myself, i can't count how many times i regretted that i didn't kill myself earlier.

 

[Superdeterminist]

No. I'm scared even of the SN method, so even though I'd love to go, I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it.

 

[RC90]

I have everything ready for New Year's Eve. Still not sure, but at least I have my ticket out.

 

[Rue89]

Yes, I've known for a long time that I'll ctb. It's just a matter of when. The way things have been going lately I think it will be soon.

 

[RC90]

I think this whole corona virus is going to change our lives for the worst. theres something going on behind all this that we are not aware. But it's changing our lives for the worse. The rate of suicides doubled this year alone. Unemployment, lack of resources and opportunities I don't even wanna celebrate New Year's Eve, it should be cancelled as this year didn't count for anything.

 

[Blank Dreamer]

I almost have everything in place.

Just missing the final ingredient. There are optional items that could make passing peaceful. Key word being could. I've also determined the location. Just need to determine the date. Not quite 100% but it's up there. My hopes have been crush many times before and I don't learn apparently. I'm just tired of being let down multiple times... By my own doing. I just want it to stop.

 

[J113632]

Yes. For me it doesn't really matter if my life improves. I have hope that maybe some good things will happen to be before I go but I know my life has to end in suicide.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Yes i really need to kill myself, i can't count how many times i regretted that i didn't kill myself earlier.

Was that your post I saw on 7chan? It had the same pic as your avatar. Sorry for off-topic.

 

[Berndje]

Was that your post I saw on 7chan? It had the same pic as your avatar. Sorry for off-topic.

no i don't post on 7chan.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

@Berndje
Oh, ok.

 

[asdasan]

The choice whether to keep living or not is only made easier when one already feels like they shouldn't have existed at all.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Yeah. I've had these thoughts since the beginning and I don't think they're going away. It's burned in my mind at this point.

What I don't know is how long I'll force myself to go on for anyway and whether I'll die of other causes in the meantime.

 

[Deathbydemo]

Yes, 100% sure. I don't want to turn 30. I've got 2 months before then.

 

[braketimez]

No. I cannot predict what kind of shit my brain could pull on me. That's the 1%. The 99% other says yes.

 

[Futile]

I will surely kill myself eventually (unless I die in accident or something like that ofc)

I just don't know how far is this moment

 

[cyberlordsumit]

Oh yeah I need to CTB soon. just waiting for my SN. need to endure the shitty days till then

 

[Snowdrifts1212]

I'm not 100% sure yet. It's something I've thought about many times over the years, and that desire stronger the older I get, and due to some things that happened recently I am considering it now more seriously than I have in the past. And that's why I'm here, to know my options. But I can't say I'm certain. For now there is a small part of me that still wants to fight and try and find happiness and peace in this life. It just shrinks every day and for the last while I have felt pretty certain I do not want to keep living. But I'm open to that changing. We'll see how long that lasts.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i used to be 50% sure, but recently, i've come to the realization that this life isn't for me. furthermore, i've come to the realization that i don't want to live this life, even if i have "good" days, weeks, or months. it all comes back to suffering, i've realized, and that's why i'm 100% about my decision.

 

[musicalpriest]

Honestly, probably not. I am worried about a failed attempt, and I have a heavy conscience. I'm trying to reconnect with spirituality because it's really all I have left.

But thinking about it is super cathartic. I just have so much pain and not a great outlet to express it. Going on this forum probably isn't healthy but writing everything out and seeing that I'm not alone in my experiences is helpful.

I'm not 100% sure yet. It's something I've thought about many times over the years, and that desire stronger the older I get, and due to some things that happened recently I am considering it now more seriously than I have in the past. And that's why I'm here, to know my options. But I can't say I'm certain. For now there is a small part of me that still wants to fight and try and find happiness and peace in this life. It just shrinks every day and for the last while I have felt pretty certain I do not want to keep living. But I'm open to that changing. We'll see how long that lasts.

Hey, I wish you all the best. I still want to try and fight, too.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I have wanted this every second since the police officer told me my son died in a car accident Friday October 13, 2017. I plan to go October 13 and meet up with my son in my afterlife. The ONLY thing that could stop me is if my younger son should want to try to work on our relationship, that I destroyed in my devastating grief. I have lost anything that meant anything to me- my kids. I have nothing to loose by CTBing and only look forward to being reunited with my son in my afterlife.

 

[Baffelingbofos]

99% sure i will ctb before christmas.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm not sure if anyone can be 100% certain of anything. But I know that I feel like I will die by suicide. I want to die this way. I feel like I deserve to die like this, that it's better for me and for everyone else. I've felt suicidal for far too long and at this point I don't see another way out. Even if I had an alternative offered to me, I don't think I'd take it.

 

[MrBlue]

I 100% know I will kill myself before I'm 30, because even in the 8 years it would take to do that, my life would never be able to improve enough to change my mind. tbh I'm hopefully ending it within a month or 2.

 

[Forgotten]

There's no way out for me anymore. So yeah, 100% sure, it's only a matter of how and when.

 

[lymbo]

I dont feel like I am capable of doing things required to survive in society. Ctb seems my only option

l feel the same way, can you elaborate ?

 

[Nymph]

I'm sure I'll CTB someday, not sure when but I definitely will

 

[muffin222]

There's never 100% certainty, but I'm leaning towards yes, and hopefully soon

 

[Hazelnut]

100% sure. No hope for this world and myself anymore... I reached a point of non return this year.
Now, I'm preparing everything related to administrative stuff / emptying my living place, and I'm reading as much as I can to not fail my attempt.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm 100% sure I want to, but I can't. Life is so lonely, scary, and hopeless. There is zero hope of my health improving, and I will never have a partner that really loves me due to sexual trauma issues. At least I know my health will kill me before I get old.