I am there with you on that. I ordered SN and am not only having serious concerns about having it in my possession (it being found, welfare check, etc),but I am now terrified of a failure and being more miserable. I think for those of us who are suffering physically, we realize that there are many ways to suffer even more.
How old are you? I'm happy for you to have this opportunity and have the support. My family would NEVER support this.... I'm not sure how I am going to survive all my pain and suffering long term. My life has been difficult but beautiful in many ways until about 6 months ago. Now I am in hell with it getting worse as time goes on.
Hi, I'm 41 and from the UK. Long term suffer (5 years) of chronic and debilitating ear conditions that have only gotten worse over time. The last 7 months have been unbearable and I'm seriously at breaking point both physically and psychological with it all.
Just getting through a day feels like getting through and entire week. I'm seriously fucked and never even knew this could happen to a person.
It's only when you're in this position that you realise how flawed and fucked up the system is that we allow people to suffer like this indefinitely. That in itself scares the fuck out of me and makes my worry, stress and anxiety of the whole situation ten times worse.
My family were totally against it at first saying I have no choice but to carry on. It's only recently after seeing me suffer immensely for so long that they have come to terms with my wishes and are now supporting me.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it's so fucked up to be left like this.