Anyone spend most of their time in bed?

[Darkover]

I do this a lot when I have no plans. Staying in for weeks on end, laying in bed and browsing SaSu. Very little activity. Uneventful days. I'm very unmotivated to do anything else, I end up neglecting everything. It's all I've done today, stayed in bed all day, either sleeping or on my phone, reading something. Torn between living and wanting to die.

 

[UKscotty]

Usually at the weekend I am bad for this. In the week not so bad.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

Sometimes stay in bed for another hour but I always get out and do whatever must be done.

 

[divinemistress36]

Bed rotting everyday

 

[Darkover]

Bed rotting everyday

me too

 

[billie]

I spend most of my time in bed every day

 

[Pluto]

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No, but I'm also not very active during the day. I prefer to stay in my room, browsing SaSu on my laptop and doing some other stuff online. I don't like to stay in bed when I'm not sleeping, doing everything with the phone is difficult for me.

 

[iloverachel]

I really don't have a choice but to lay down and rot
I'm not welcome or accepted anywhere I go so I lay down and rot

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

me too

Me too

 

[Darkover]

No, but I'm also not very active during the day. I prefer to stay in my room, browsing SaSu on my laptop and doing some other stuff online. I don't like to stay in bed when I'm not sleeping, doing everything with the phone is difficult for me.

i sleep with my laptop on my bed it never gets shut off it's on 24/7 that's why my laptops only ever last a year, i use my laptop on my bed all day everyday

 

[INTJme]

Up until I decided to ctb and joined SaSu, I was very active. Doing my 10k steps almost everyday, creating content, working on my projects etc. But I've been, as @divinemistress36 puts it, bed rotting every day for the past week or so. What's the point when things are gonna end in a few days anyway, heh?

 

[untothedepths]

How my day goes: Wake up. Hit with 20,000 negative emotions. Take care of cat. Do my obligatory functions as worthless trash slave. Go online. Doom scroll. Gut feeling and being left out of friends tells me people I know want me dead, tortured, and corpse burned. Hurts bad that I went out of complete isolation to finally have human compassion to just have it blow up in my face. Should have known better. "No one wants to be around you." my brain tells me. I then go to provide more services for my overlords before attempting to play video games. Usually doesn't work. I get maybe 30 minutes or less in or I play for a few hours by forcing myself to do so. I do not enjoy it. Rest of time is lying in bed with just my music and my only comforting thought to be CTB. I realize I don't have any nice methods and come steadily close to anything to take me out. I then sleep. Or I don't. Depends if I'm just anxious. Can't afford mental health. Can't afford pain medication. Can't do shit.

 

[hadenough58]

As I said in another post work WAS my salvation, it kept my mind occupied and so I did not dwell on my problems.
It gave me a reason to get up but now work has taken a turn for the worse I lay around all day with little or no motivation to do anything.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I would if I could.

 

[tbroken]

Is it really that bad? Computers and technology gave us the freedom to speak to whoever we want/like using internet connection.
Why should i speak to someone i don't like in RL, if i can speak here on SaSu?
You can also do exercise without going to gym now, isn't it a good thing?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

i sleep with my laptop on my bed it never gets shut off it's on 24/7 that's why my laptops only ever last a year, i use my laptop on my bed all day everyday

I could never do that. Actually when I just lay in bed (and I don't sleep) I get kinda back pain after some time.

 

[Darkover]

I could never do that. Actually when I just lay in bed (and I don't sleep) I get kinda back pain after some time.

i've spent most of my adult life on a bed programming computers or suffering the internet i don't get any discomfort laying down all day everyday

Is it really that bad? Computers and technology gave us the freedom to speak to whoever we want/like using internet connection.
Why should i speak to someone i don't like in RL, if i can speak here on SaSu?
You can also do exercise without going to gym now, isn't it a good thing?

the internet is a good thing gives you access to the whole world at your fingers tips

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I do. Whenever I'm not at university or forced to go outside with my parents, I rot in bed. That's all I can do as I can't really imagine myself doing anything else

 

[tbroken]

the internet is a good thing gives you access to the whole world at your fingers tips

That's why i love it. Tbh i prefer the company of my PC to the company of any human being.
Bad ppl are disgusting, they show no mercy because the only good thing they can do is attacking and destroy(since they cannot create).
I met a lot of them, i don't want to meet them anymore. But it's all my father's fault and he is still here doing his mistakes and breathing on me...

 

[waitingforme]

I would if I was on my own, but my parents ensure I at least get out of bed, now I can't say I shower everyday or care about self care at all, I even pretend to shower sometimes but really I'm just turning the shower on unbothered to get in, but they think I have, then I get dressed. If I don't attempt a shower at all then I stay in what I wore to bed. Then move to the lounge and think about CTB and missing my late partner, I will walk across the road to run my dog at the park but I use that time to cry and scream but try not show my parents. I can't and don't want to pick myself up if I had a gun (not easy to get in Australia) but if I did I would blow my head off. I hate being alive

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I have to see a few people to the business every now and then (until I pay off this debt then I'm shutting the stupid thing down). Apart from that yeah. Bed a lot, no energy. Either here browsing, animal videos on YT, making some art edits (COPE), or playing older games like resident evil and metal gear solid.
Have a small wall desk next to me with a chair so when I do my art I just end up getting stuck to that seat instead of the bed. It would be nice to show me art and talk to people about it here (as people here actual seem genuine compared to everywhere else) but it would reveal who I am. Another prison that can't be escaped. Dumpster fire.

 

[hopeless08]

I do this a lot when I have no plans. Staying in for weeks on end, laying in bed and browsing SaSu. Very little activity. Uneventful days. I'm very unmotivated to do anything else, I end up neglecting everything. It's all I've done today, stayed in bed all day, either sleeping or on my phone, reading something. Torn between living and wanting to die.

I'm in bed all day everyday and try to distract myself but it doesn't work.
I put the TV on trying to watch documentaries but I find myself just staring at the screen not really knowing what's going on cause I can't focus.
All I can think about and feel is pain and not wanting to be alive anymore.

 

[Darkover]

I'm in bed all day everyday and try to distract myself but it doesn't work.
I put the TV on trying to watch documentaries but I find myself just staring at the screen not really knowing what's going on cause I can't focus.
All I can think about and feel is pain and not wanting to be alive anymore.

sorry to hear that i hope you can still get a little bit of enjoyment out of life even if you can't watch tv or play games maybe listen to music might help

 

[hopeless08]

sorry to hear that i hope you can still get a little bit of enjoyment out of life even if you can't watch tv or play games maybe listen to music might help

Thank you but I know I'm beyond help.
I wish I could get better. I don't enjoy absolutely anything. I forgot what it feels like to enjoy something. I just need to ctb but two things that I'm afraid are going to hold me back are the love for my family, not wanting them to suffer and survival instinct. I hope I can somehow get over these two issues.
The one thing that does bring me a bit of solace is being in here with you guys.
I hope you can find something that will motivate you to get out of bed.

 

[Darkover]

Thank you but I know I'm beyond help.
I wish I could get better. I don't enjoy absolutely anything. I forgot what it feels like to enjoy something. I just need to ctb but two things that I'm afraid are going to hold me back are the love for my family, not wanting them to suffer and survival instinct. I hope I can somehow get over these two issues.
The one thing that does bring me a bit of solace is being in here with you guys.
I hope you can find something that will motivate you to get out of bed.

what diagnosis do you have if you don't mind me asking what medication have you try i am currently on antipsychotics medication without it i am completely bedbound been on it for 6 years now

 

[grahf]

Anhedonia and unemployment make me spend most of my time in my bed

 

[Oliver]

No. Doing nothing makes me feel even worse. I have to do something "productive" at least half of my day. I still want to ctb though…

 

[marchshift]

I live in bed. No purpose. Attached to the screen.

 

[hopeless08]

what diagnosis do you have if you don't mind me asking what medication have you try i am currently on antipsychotics medication without it i am completely bedbound been on it for 6 years now

No I don't mind at all. I've been diagnosed with chronic depression, borderline personality disorder, anxiety severe ocd.
I've tried so many medications I can't keep track. Right now im on Lamotrigine,seroquel,laroxyl ( which is an antidepressant) clonopin and a sleeping pill. But they are absolutely of no help.
I don't see my psychiatrist anymore so I'm basically self medicating. I'm living in a country where the pharmacy's are not that strict. I've been going to the same pharmacy for years and as long as they have an old prescription, they give me the meds.
I'm 49 and first started antidepressants at the age of 20 but throughout these years I've had on and off depressions and have had some years where I was doing well but my first suicidal depression was 9 years ago. I didn't leave my house for a year an a half at that time, my pain was just too immense. I didn't think that this kind of emotional pain even existed, that a person can feel that level of pain. At that time I was basically catatonic and even breathing was painful. I wanted to ctb but couldn't find a method and at the time I was living alone with my dog which was my everything and looking at him one day I was imagining what he would do, feel if I ctbed and he couldn't wake me up, the thought of leaving him alone for days probably before they found my body
was too painful. He loved me more than anything in life. I was his everything and he was mine, so even if I had found a method I wouldn't have done it for him. He's passed away now.
Anyway I did get better on and off but here I am again 9 years later with my second suicidal depression and this time for many reasons, which are too long to get into, I know there's no going back I have to ctb it's the only way to end this unbearable , agonizing torturous pain.
And I keep asking why, what did I do to deserve this , it's not fair, it angers me.
I've realized that those of us with the biggest hearts are those who suffer the most and that's cruelty.
Wow I'm sorry I know you asked me 2 questions and I went on to give you a history of my life, without realizing it.
But yeah I can't get out of bed, even to do the most simple of tasks.
I don't know your story but I know you are in pain and again it's just not fair for us to have to go through this.
Feel free to pm if you want to vent.