Discussion Anyone seriously considering to ctb in a clear state of mind?

[Graytaichi]

Not short of money , no illness without depression. Im comsidering cos life is boring ,repetitive and dont want to grow old. Life is just a waste of time.

 

[lostmylove]

Not sure if I'm in this category but I'm 24, had 6 figure salary since age of 20, not Ill (unless mentally).

But I'm actually done. There's nothing I want left from this life, whenever I looked for help in the past people would just suggest totally npc stuff like going to the gym, changing jobs all other kinds of pointless stuff.

I'm tired and I'm fed up. I've lost my partner a week ago to a violent death. That's my final death sentence . I'm just waiting till it's his birthday and I can be done.

 

[houseofleaves]

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with mixed anxiety and depressive disorder, but i'm feeling generally happy and content with my life, and yet, i still want to CTB.

 

[Shu]

Not sure if I'm in this category but I'm 24, had 6 figure salary since age of 20, not Ill (unless mentally).

But I'm actually done. There's nothing I want left from this life, whenever I looked for help in the past people would just suggest totally npc stuff like going to the gym, changing jobs all other kinds of pointless stuff.

I'm tired and I'm fed up. I've lost my partner a week ago to a violent death. That's my final death sentence . I'm just waiting till it's his birthday and I can be done.

Take a trip to Peru and drink some ayahuasca

Wait sorry I just saw the last part:( sorry for your loss

 

[lostmylove]

Take a trip to Peru and drink some ayahuasca

Wait sorry I just saw the last part:( sorry for your loss

It's okay. All my hopes and dreams died when he died. There's no future for me. Find it difficult still to come to terms with what's needed still

 

[fatefulstillness]

Suicide can be in fact considered in a clear state of mind. Even if people have their struggles, it doesn't mean they aren't capable of being rational. Besides, no one is ever absolutely separated from their circumstances – quite the opposite, really. Our experiences shape us deeply.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, wanting suicide is perfectly rational, it is what makes sense for me. If I choose to ctb, I will be preventing decades of suffering. Things will get much worse for me in the future and by dying I will be escaping all that. I have came to the conclusion that my life is not worth living, and there is nothing here for me in this world. I prefer the sound of non existence, and I see life to be a pointless, unnecessary experience that I have no interest in.

 

[sealbabies]

Reading the title first I was wondering if you meant being sober lol
But no really, I think if you have just considered this for so long... that might be the clearest state of mind the person might have.
Guess it depends on how you view and define things, too.

I'm tired and I'm fed up. I've lost my partner a week ago to a violent death. That's my final death sentence . I'm just waiting till it's his birthday and I can be done.

Even though my partner's death wasn't violent (it must be so bad, I'm so sorry), it was unexpected all around and out of nowhere.
And you expressing that this was "my final death sentence" hits so hard. This is exactly, exactly the way I've been wishing to express it.
I hope we can find the peace in whatever way we can, but idk, being haunted by this kind of loss... it can be hard to see any other real option besides ctb personally.

 

[Lost Magic]

Honestly, life (for me anyway) is just a repetitive slog of repetition. What is the point of all of this life anyway? Just survive, pass the time and then die. What a waste.

 

[DrownFeather]

I have depression, i BPD and i can confirm I'm still in clear state of mind, i realized that world is shit and not gonna be better ever, since the stone age till now it's shit, so yes I'm clear

 

[Idkaho2]

Yes, I want freed from this mortal coil.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Not short of money , no illness without depression. Im comsidering cos life is boring ,repetitive and dont want to grow old. Life is just a waste of time.

Yep no short of money confident I have enough to see me to the end of youth then pull the plug .

But the repetitive hedonism is getting old and work won't do it anymore too. Work used to be the 100 percent thing to stop me and now that can't cut it .

As Churchill said just gets boring

 

[Graham]

Not short of money , no illness without depression. Im comsidering cos life is boring ,repetitive and dont want to grow old. Life is just a waste of time.

Yeah - know that feeling

Plagued my life

But what you describe could be classed as depression or a mental illness

I've struggled with that too

Everything's going good, load of money and still there's the voice on your head saying 'is this it?'

I'm guessing you're relatively young and have no kids?

I never wanted kids but now regret I didn't

They can be a good or a bad thing

I have always had the 'I was born for something better and is this all life is?' In my mind

Wanted to be rich and famous as that would make me happy

Only got to see 'celebs' with issues

Just money and issues

Life is a battle for everyone - hence so many books and films on / around them meaning of life'

Some people deal with it better than others - others like us on here

No one knows what's going on in anyone else's mind

Wish I had a mind where having an ordinary job / life / kids / existence was enough

Now, I'd be happy with that - but strove for bigger and better - now just jealous of those who did the 'normal' - back in the day they where jealous of me



Take care x

 

[WorthlessTrash]

My mind is clear. I've always reconsidered if CTBing was the right decision for me given my circumstances, possible outcomes of treatment and my goals of wanting to be the opposite sex. I always reach the same conclusion that the standards and goals I would like to have would not be achieved by transitioning so the only thing that would be accomplished is retaining my jealousy of other people and self hate for the rest of my life thus suicide is the better option here. Logically, CTBing is also the better decision since I have no interest in being anything other than a neet. I feel my decision is rational, tbh.

 

[joptr]

Yes, mental disorder and no hope of that changing.

 

[Sun n showers]

Yes feel very clear about it

 

[Hurt]

Yes. Obviously.

 

[Lone Wanderer]

Not sure if I'm in this category but I'm 24, had 6 figure salary since age of 20, not Ill (unless mentally).

But I'm actually done. There's nothing I want left from this life, whenever I looked for help in the past people would just suggest totally npc stuff like going to the gym, changing jobs all other kinds of pointless stuff.

I'm tired and I'm fed up. I've lost my partner a week ago to a violent death. That's my final death sentence . I'm just waiting till it's his birthday and I can be done.

I'm sorry to hear the loss of your partner. That's actually my worst fear. I too would consider CTB if I lost someone I love that way I can be reunited with them for all eternity. Don't know if you're still alive, but I hope you find him/her again.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I am in a clear state of mind… Situation is unsustainable

 

[Insomniac]

Not short of money , no illness without depression. Im comsidering cos life is boring ,repetitive and dont want to grow old. Life is just a waste of time.

not short of money and still want to ctb? Well, idk. If I had a job and was independent from my parents, I wouldn't be suicidal. But I'm too crippled woth depression and anxiety to ever get a job so idk idk

I do know thought, that boredom is a terrible feeling that can drive you insane and make you do things just to "pass time". Things like killing yourself for example. Don't underestimate boredom. It's a killer.

 

[27clubBRIAN]

Not sure if I'm in this category but I'm 24, had 6 figure salary since age of 20, not Ill (unless mentally).

But I'm actually done. There's nothing I want left from this life, whenever I looked for help in the past people would just suggest totally npc stuff like going to the gym, changing jobs all other kinds of pointless stuff.

I'm tired and I'm fed up. I've lost my partner a week ago to a violent death. That's my final death sentence . I'm just waiting till it's his birthday and I can be done.

That's kinda how I feel , just kinda done . I had fun , time to move on to the next life

 

[FogFilledLife]

I've long since stopped feeling sad. I feel calm in my choice of death. It's only when I set up the attempt that I feel anxiety. Haven't made an attempt without feeling calm, I don't want to make a stupid mistake if I can avoid it. If possible I set it up, calm down, then check it over.

I don't want to live for nothing, and all I have is nothing. I don't care for relationships, I don't care for money, I don't care for drugs. I don't see a point in getting a job I'll hate and spending my life hating myself and everyone/everything else.

 

[Graham]

Not short of money , no illness without depression. Im comsidering cos life is boring ,repetitive and dont want to grow old. Life is just a waste of time.

Not sure if I'm in this category but I'm 24, had 6 figure salary since age of 20, not Ill (unless mentally).

But I'm actually done. There's nothing I want left from this life, whenever I looked for help in the past people would just suggest totally npc stuff like going to the gym, changing jobs all other kinds of pointless stuff.

I'm tired and I'm fed up. I've lost my partner a week ago to a violent death. That's my final death sentence . I'm just waiting till it's his birthday and I can be done.

Fuck

A tonne of money and so young

Talk to us - maybe there's a way forward

Half my life battles have been lack of money - when I had money things were better but still had black dog

6 figure salary is big

Talk it out x

It's okay. All my hopes and dreams died when he died. There's no future for me. Find it difficult still to come to terms with what's needed still

They would want you to go on and be happy?

Give it one more shot?

Gx

 

[freedompass]

Of course. Of course it's perfectly rational. You don't have to be depressed to want out. Recurring bouts of high or low moods are merely a part of the reason I want out. However a diagnosis of bipolar disorder by no means affects my level of rationality.

 

[Jupit3rs]

I have my mental issues... But i'm totally sober considering this option, even when i feel at "peace" here, I know this is my destiny. It just makes perfect sense wanting to leave and take a rest.

 

[Euthanza]

I don't want to grow old, I'm old already, bored more than enough. Everything elses are mediocre and stagnant in my life.

 

[Hope:-)]

I incurred some facial injuries which got my confidence very low which hasn't helped. I have been and am just in the process of coming off meds which seriously wrecked my life for 16 years. They have left me cognitive issues so I can't even think like I used to. I am loathe to ctb but I think it is my best option. I am of clear mind? It's hard to know how one would know, but on paper my life does not look good.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

It's okay. All my hopes and dreams died when he died. There's no future for me. Find it difficult still to come to terms with what's needed still

if you're interested, please consider checking these resources on how to deal with grief:

(1):

Recovery From grief and loss for suicidal persons

Many suicidal people are grieving a loss; it can help to know how to resolve your grief.

metanoia.org

(2):

 

[broken_songbird]

Not short of money , no illness without depression. Im comsidering cos life is boring ,repetitive and dont want to grow old. Life is just a waste of time.

Ctb can be a completely rational decision. Just like other animals are regularly euthanized for reasons as trite as being unwanted. Humans breed dogs and cats and then throw them away. We do the same thing to other humans: make them, trash them. When I was nearing my ctb date, I was thinking more rationally than I had for a long time. If you're looking at the evidence and the cost/benefit ratio, ctb is the most rational choice for some of us. To think that everyone who wants to ctb has hope of improving their life would be irrational. Death is better for some. It's the same reason I support abortion: sometimes that best interest of the child is to not have to suffer the parent(s).

 

[Final-push123]

Man I was doing so well form simple things like being unattractive male(yeah yeah I know I don't deserve love, I'm not "entitled")
Loss 5 of close family members including my mom by the age of 24, learned that the world rewards cruelty, my nation is collapsing.... I have cope through all of that.....

But the killing blow for me is climate change or more so climate collapse. Like really?! I gone through all that shit just to see the end of the human race?! What the goddamn fuck?!

So I decided rational to CtB, no point in living in a hellscape. I'm just worrid about that soul net and being forced to reincarnation....man I hope that isn't true