There is no one to talk to about suicide.

[Poiter1987]

I had drug induced psychosis. Got injected with Invega/Paliperidone and it's been 8 months and i know i will never be the same person i was before.

It had taken so much away from me. I never thought I'd be on a website searching up ways to end my life.

I dont think I have the courage to go through with suicide but I am absolutely stuck in life going no where fast. I can't talk to my friends because what do you say? I think the best way put is suicide? I will talk to a therapist but only to make others happy. There is nothing a therapist can do to alleviate the damage that has been done to my brain and psyche from anti psychotic medications.

I am so fortunate to have a father that is looking after me. Without him though I would be completely fucked. What happens when he's gone? He can't look after me forever and I am barely functioning as a human.

I am beyond depressed when I seriously think about killing myself i just can't fathom how ill muster the courage to do it.

But im a broken person. I am so lost. I am so sad I am so scared and I d9nt know how to talk to anyone because of guilt shame and embarrassment and also the fact I'm not the same person I used to be.

I have no enthusiasm for anything. I am not helping myself I just want the world to dissapear.

I got bullied horribly in the workplace just to end up killing myself on drugs and alcohol. To the point that my life is now completely fucked. The only way put for me is death and I'm to much of a pussy I always fucking have been. How do people find the strength to go through with it. I don't understand.

I'm beyond broken and I am so scared of the future.

Just a vent.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I understand feeling so trapped in this torturous existence, I wish you the best.

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry that so much violence was done to you by people
you do not deserve to be treated so badly
sending you hugs and love

 

[fatty44]

I'm so sorry man. I can 100% feel what you're going through right now, psychotic mania is one of the worst things that ever happened to me.


I lost a lot of valuable friendships and my work place, it's just super tough to explain myself to them and the shame is unbelievably strong...
This made all of my past trauma and issues completely irrelevant in perspective to what kind of situation this illness put me into.

Just know you're not alone, and as time goes on things are going to get better again. I also found another job, but I have to move away from my family which was my haven...


I wish all the best for you, it's not fair, and especially it's not fair how people judge you for being ill...
A lot of people are uneducated...