Method Anyone failed partial suspension?

[BPD_LE]

I need to ctb soon as life is unbearable. Slowly sorting out the practical things. I've decided on partial suspension with a rope dog slip lead, in a forest with a delayed email to the police. I have been practicing finding the sweet spot. Although I've not blacked out, I started to get pins and needles and numbness in my arms and chest. Does that sound right? I'm feeling quite confident but wondered if anyone has failed and if so what went wrong? I'm not scared of pain, just of failing.

 

[Blackjack]

I need to ctb soon as life is unbearable. Slowly sorting out the practical things. I've decided on partial suspension with a rope dog slip lead, in a forest with a delayed email to the police. I have been practicing finding the sweet spot. Although I've not blacked out, I started to get pins and needles and numbness in my arms and chest. Does that sound right? I'm feeling quite confident but wondered if anyone has failed and if so what went wrong? I'm not scared of pain, just of failing.

Yes I failed, couldn't find sweet spot.

Be careful about delayed email to police. Could backfire.

 

[BPD_LE]

Be careful about delayed email to police. Could backfire.

I know, I thought about giving them like a riddle. The bigger the forest the better. I really want the police to find me though, not member of the public. The police are so shit round here they probably take days to find me.

 

[Centerism]

Hello op. I've tried partial and failed. It was because I blocked my wind pipe and panic ensued. I struggled to get the rope in a comfortable place and I wasn't passing out as soon as I expected. So I put more pressure on my neck by dropping my body weight a bit too hard. I instantly panicked. I didn't want to suffocate to death. So I stood up as fast as I could and somehow got the rope loose. It's very frightening when you are suffocating.

I've recently changed my method to night night. I've been testing my response to pressing my carotid and gauging the results. I can get almost to the point of blacking out. So I know that I'll be able to achieve my method.

Just remember though. We all love you here. You're understood. And we're here for you no matter what.

 

[BPD_LE]

I've tried partial and failed. It was because I blocked my wind pipe and panic ensued.

Yeah I've know what you mean. I've had to stop because I'm crushing my windpipe and it's not a nice feeling. I'm not bothered about that happening during my attempt, but don't want to cause damage practicing.
Thank you for your kind words.

UPDATE
I've just nearly blacked out. It's the weirdest feeling ever! My head and body was shaking. It felt like a mixture of pressure, numbness and nothing! I could hear myself struggling to breathe in my ears, like I could hear my inner body through my ears. But it didn't hurt at all. I've definitely got the spot. I know this will work.

 

[Centerism]

@BPD_LE
I'm So Glad you found It. Isn't the feeling amazing? I tried to describe it to somebody the other day and all I could do was ramble on about peace and beauty etc. It's a feeling of elation, to say the least, knowing you have got the right spot and that it will work. You can sit back and relax mowing you can ctb at any time. Like mocking the world, "come on humanity, give me all you got. I'm finally ready."

 

[b12ruinedme]

What was the spot for you, struggling so bad with this, also are you using a rope?

 

[BPD_LE]

What was the spot for you, struggling so bad with this, also are you using a rope?

I'm using a rope yes. I did try with my fingers but it's easier for me with a ligature. I extended my neck so my head was back slightly. Positioned the rope higher up my neck than I initially assumed I would have to, and pulled the rope straight up. I just gradually increased the pressure and let go when I'd had enough.

 

[BPD_LE]

@BPD_LE
I'm So Glad you found It. Isn't the feeling amazing?

It actually really is amazing! My throat is sore this morning though, my windpipe. I don't know how much damage I may do to it practicing. I know I should stop now I know what I'm doing but I probably won't. Part of me wants to normalise the feeling to avoid panic when it's time the other part just wants to do it, maybe as a form of self harm? I'm reckless and self destructive by nature but have never felt this much power over my own mortality. It feels good.

 

[Centerism]

It actually really is amazing! My throat is sore this morning though, my windpipe. I don't know how much damage I may do to it practicing. I know I should stop now I know what I'm doing but I probably won't. Part of me wants to normalise the feeling to avoid panic when it's time the other part just wants to do it, maybe as a form of self harm? I'm reckless and self destructive by nature but have never felt this much power over my own mortality. It feels good.

My throat gets sore too. It still doesn't keep me from doing it. Although I wait a couple days inbetween. And I try different things too, like taking an excess amount of medication to see if it numbs my panic response and things like compressing my carotid with different things too see what'll put the best pressure on my neck, etc.

I agree it's probably a self harm thing. Part of me likes the pain the next day because it's reassuring. But I'm prone to self harm tendencies. I cut, and have been cutting most of my life. I know it's a bad thing to do, but I can't keep myself from self harming. It sickens me. But I guess I'm prone to self harm since I'm on the bus already.

Hopefully feeling this "power" is a good thing for us. Seeing as how it let's us know we have control, in a sense, over our own lives. That's something we've never felt before. It's something that relieves our senses, knowing that we can succeed in our adventures.

I hope you're doing good today. The little things in life are all we have to look forward to. Like knowing we have control over our own lives with the knowledge we have perfected our methods. Just know I love you. I understand you. And I support you.

 

[BPD_LE]

I cut, and have been cutting most of my life. I know it's a bad thing to do, but I can't keep myself from self harming. It sickens me. But I guess I'm prone to self harm since I'm on the bus already.

I'm a cutter too, and a burner. It's not a bad thing to do, try not to judge yourself in this way, it's just something you do, and you have your reasons. I accept you the way you are and I wouldn't describe anything you're doing to help you cope as bad.

Just know I love you. I understand you. And I support you.

You're a very kind and loving person. Your words mean more to me than you could ever know. I agree I think we understand each other. Your words are completely reciprocated. There is not enough kindness and love in this world. You're a very special person and I support you in your choices whatever they may be.

 

[sanction]

@BPD_LE
I'm So Glad you found It. Isn't the feeling amazing? I tried to describe it to somebody the other day and all I could do was ramble on about peace and beauty etc. It's a feeling of elation, to say the least, knowing you have got the right spot and that it will work. You can sit back and relax mowing you can ctb at any time. Like mocking the world, "come on humanity, give me all you got. I'm finally ready."

Can you share how you did it? Thank you very much

 

[nzdarkshark]

I attempted last year but couldn't get the sweet spot and ended up panicing and bailing on the attempt. Changed my method, hope SN will be more reliable for me as I relate to the feeling of just wanting this to be over.

 

[John Smith]

I attempted last year but couldn't get the sweet spot and ended up panicing and bailing on the attempt. Changed my method, hope SN will be more reliable for me as I relate to the feeling of just wanting this to be over.

Partial or full?

 

[nzdarkshark]

Partial or full?

Partial - rope, tree, backyard. I was on my knees with a washcloth as padding.

 

[account676]

I'm using a rope yes. I did try with my fingers but it's easier for me with a ligature. I extended my neck so my head was back slightly. Positioned the rope higher up my neck than I initially assumed I would have to, and pulled the rope straight up. I just gradually increased the pressure and let go when I'd had enough.

Wow, I've just been trying everything except for this. But my rope causes so much friction is buuurns. I tried to soap it up but it didn't really help. I can't be bothered to go to the store and buy a new one and all of my belts are really flexible. What can I do to stop the friction of the rope? Any suggestions would be welcome!
Thanks.

 

[BPD_LE]

Wow, I've just been trying everything except for this. But my rope causes so much friction is buuurns. I tried to soap it up but it didn't really help. I can't be bothered to go to the store and buy a new one and all of my belts are really flexible. What can I do to stop the friction of the rope? Any suggestions would be welcome!
Thanks.

My rope is smooth because it's a dog slip lead. It works really well. People say to cushion it with a shirt or a towel, but I've never had the need. My rope doesn't even leave a lasting mark whilst practicing.

 

[account676]

My rope is smooth because it's a dog slip lead. It works really well. People say to cushion it with a shirt or a towel, but I've never had the need. My rope doesn't even leave a lasting mark whilst practicing.

Lucky you, I suppose I'll just change the rope.

 

[BPD_LE]

Lucky you, I suppose I'll just change the rope.

This is mine.

 

[itskindofafunnystory]

I've tried both partial and full suspension and have failed both. I get to the point of almost blacking out and then I panic. It's hard to succeed at a partial because you can always just stand up.

 

[John Smith]

I've tried both partial and full suspension and have failed both. I get to the point of almost blacking out and then I panic. It's hard to succeed at a partial because you can always just stand up.

Why did you fail at full?

 

[who doesn't matter]

I've tried both partial and full suspension and have failed both. I get to the point of almost blacking out and then I panic. It's hard to succeed at a partial because you can always just stand up.

How exactly you failed full suspension? From what I hear, you can't back out once the inside the loop of death.

 

[itskindofafunnystory]

Why did you fail at full?

How exactly you failed full suspension? From what I hear, you can't back out once the inside the loop of death.

Maybe I shouldn't've said it was a full suspension. I'm not sure what you would call this, but I had the rope hung from my garage rafters, the noose was around my neck, and I was standing on a chair. There wasn't much slack in the rope, so when I stepped off the chair, the pain was really bad from the rope so I swung myself back to the chair and stepped on. At that point I was too distressed, so I untied myself and put everything away.

 

[who doesn't matter]

Maybe I shouldn't've said it was a full suspension. I'm not sure what you would call this, but I had the rope hung from my garage rafters, the noose was around my neck, and I was standing on a chair. There wasn't much slack in the rope, so when I stepped off the chair, the pain was really bad from the rope so I swung myself back to the chair and stepped on. At that point I was too distressed, so I untied myself and put everything away.

Pain or SI or both?