Anyone else insecure about their appearance?

[ArtsyDrawer]

My meds make me look like Prince Phillip to myself. My father had once described me as "a goddamn zombie".
I'm not insulted, that's a very accurate description of both my physical and mental state.

I'm not sure whether it's some weird brainfuck thing, but there is, to my surprise, a state that I like myself in: clean-shaven skinhead.
I'm waiting for the surgery to make that transition. I've shaved everything off once for a complex EEG+MRI+MRA+MRV, all in one sitting in one machine.
My friend described the transition as "From The Hobbit to American History X."

 

[Luchs]

I'm trans and I absolutely hate the way that I look :( It definitely contributes heavily to my awful self-esteem. I feel like I've "done everything I can do" in terms of my appearance too, which makes things feel even bleaker in a way.

Can anyone else relate? I'm not sure how common obsessively hating one's appearance is around here.

I'm quite ok with how I look, since I'm an average/slightly above average looking young guy.

 

[BabyYoda]

Back in high school I was never really insecure about how I looked. I went to a small private school as a junior high student then transferred to a fairly big exclusive school later on. In that school there were tons of restrictions placed on us, like we weren't allowed to wear very short shorts or ripped jeans. So most went with the generic t-shirt and jeans style. Makeup was allowed, but people seemed to wear it for self-expression rather than impressing anybody. But when I transferred to college that's when everything changed. We have no uniforms and I swear so many people are just good looking. That was when I realized that people still look for the ones who are physically attractive when it comes to love.

Maybe no one wants to date me because I'm ugly?

I had no idea how crushing the feeling of being ugly was. I even changed my fashion style to make me "seem" attractive. I noticed all my flaws and I hated them. I wouldn't hate my flaws if someone OTHER THAN ME loved who I really am. Yes, I can take care of myself and be healthy, but I cannot and will not force myself to love my flaws because I am asking to be delusional. I cannot force myself to believe that I am attractive if even I cannot match my own standards. It's easier to accept that I'm unattractive than believing that I am someone I'm not.

If I am unable to find true love by graduation then I'll CTB. Best friend or significant other. Male.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I'm fat, old and ugly. I hate myself. Another reason for wanting to CTB.

 

[Thereisnothing]

I am not insecure about my appearance, its the person inside which counts. I have lost alot of my hair through illnesses and changes to body etc but have not let it worry me for a long time. My soul/spirit is me and who I am as person, if someone cant see past looks then they aint worth bothering about.

 

[Innereye]

Went through a phase where I did. Then I realised that all the people whose opinion of me I cared about don't care. It sucks for social-work-environments but for friendships and relationships I don't care too much about it.

 

[shoganai]

I've lost a lot of weight this past year, about 70 pounds. I still feel fat. I feel gross even though I look the best I have in 12 years. Also, my eyes really creep me out. They look completely dead (to me at least). I hate looking in the mirror/at pictures of myself.

 

[mattwitt]

As long as I shower, brush, floss, and use mouthwash before I go out I don't care one measure about how I look.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I have bad teeth, not those perfect blinding white chicklet teeth literally everyone here in America has. It's crazy but I feel different from everyone. I mumble when I talk so people can't see them and haven't smiled in a decade.

 

[azucaramargo]

I look like a balding school shooter

Uh, yes please!

 

[braketimez]

Starting to hate how I look. Face is changing, and I'm starting to bald. It fucking sucks.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Absolutely. I feel like an alien.

 

[heartslikeours]

All the people forced to look at me must feel so awkward and disgusted.

 

[pete_x]

I'd like to remove my left eye but there's no way to conceal that cut.

 

[lazy.depressed]

I am not trans, but I am gay, and I very much support my trans brothers and sisters.

There is a great quote from Thoreau - "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes?"

It is easy to judge people you don't know, and especially if you haven't lived their experience, because they are the Other, and many overlook the humanity in their being.

When I was a teen, my conservative religious mom showed me a video of gay men saying that they had decided to become straight, because the "gay lifestyle was so destructive, and so lonely". Even though I knew I was attracted to other guys as a child, I believed the video and thought gay people were terrible.

As time has gone on, I came to realize that the depression many LGBT people have stems from them being treated quite poorly during childhood and their teenage years for being different. My parents made me go to conversion therapy when I was 18, and I basically learned from a Christian psychiatrist that I was a bad person, my mom paid lots of money, and no change occurred, except to strengthen my self loathing and depression, all in the name of conforming to straight society and being a good Christian.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned from having been born gay is how much empathy and compassion I have for people who are different or treated as less than.

I wish you and Mr2005 could see the world through my eyes.


I am somewhere on the spectrum of BDD, not to an extreme, because I can leave my house and such, but I struggle very much with how I look, and it consumes many of my thoughts throughout the day. I can only sympathize with you. Sending you love! <3

Thank you so much for sharing this, I very much relate to not being able to fit into the standards of society. I just hope that you're able to live as yourself now. Much love and strenght, friend

 

[MZALA]

Used to be, but I've gotten used to them they don't bother me that much anymore.

 

[lazy.depressed]

I used to hate my appearance and not see myself at all, mostly because I let people mold me into whatever they wanted. I thought it's completely impossible for me to be myself and also be accepted. But as years went on, I started realizing how uncomfortable I am and that I just can't live like this and after a mental breakdown, I started changing the temporary things. Cut my hair, wore things i liked, got pierced, dyed my hair... And thanks to that, I found new friends and communities that understood me.
I still feel like shit, but I'm a free piece of shit and most people accept me ♥ I hope I can give you the strenght I needed then, friend.

My best friend once said "I want to be covered in tattoos before I die". I feel dat.

I've lost a lot of weight this past year, about 70 pounds. I still feel fat. I feel gross even though I look the best I have in 12 years. Also, my eyes really creep me out. They look completely dead (to me at least). I hate looking in the mirror/at pictures of myself.

Same here with the weight loss. Definetly lost way less than you but I've never been this skinny and it's kinda freaking me out. Im also rly pale and have eyebags, ive been told I look dead/like a zombie many times. Fuck depression.
What makes your eyes look dead?

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I used to be, but then i saw its pointless. Nobody really cares of my appearance so i stopped stressing.

 

[RileyTanaka]

I've gained about 15 pounds in the last 3 months. I also think I look ill. It definitely makes me feel self conscious when I'm in public and is a big reason I hate going out.

 

[Pryras]

I have BDD and I think while some people might consider that a vanity issue it extends beyond that, like any disorder. It has nothing to do with beauty, but more so being comfortable with who you see in the mirror.

Yes, I don't like a lot about my appearance. I could give you an entire list. I try relieving some of the discomfort through cosmetic procedures but it just distorts your perception even more. I wish I never started...

 

[Theresa Riot]

I've been overweight my whole life. It used to really bother me when I was younger. Now I'm almost 40 and I literally no longer give even half of one shit if someone thinks I'm fat. Don't like how I look? Then turn your head bitch cuz I'm all outta fucks to waste on you.

 

[judithim]

im either a trans man or an nb person and i just don't feel like my face is mine